It's been a couple weeks since Ciara came and joined us for tour. Awsten is acting like nothing ever happened, and that hurts. They've been all over each other right in front of me, too. I just ignore it and pretend it never happened. I mean what else can I do? He's not mine anymore. We are still friends, though. 

The days on tour have been slow, except when we are playing shows. I guess lately that's been the only time I've been energetic and happy. Geoff and Otto have been trying to keep me happy and it works for the most part, but I'm still hurt that Awsten is gone with no sign of coming back.

We don't have any shows today , so everyone slept in. But there's some viewing party we have to go in a few hours. A band that Waterparks supported a few years ago is releasing an album and they want us to come and listen. I don't really know who they are but they guys seem to really like them. 

Also, Ciara being on tour isn't great, to say the least. She acts sweet in front of other people then she will just be rude and passive aggressive when it's just me. And she found out that me and Awsten went out a few times so she's not that fond of me, as if her attitude me could get any worse. Whenever I'm around Awsten she will put herself all over him and just look at me to make me uncomfortable.

I have no idea what I'm gonna do about it. I guess after tour ends I'm gonna lose contact with them anyways. It's not like they want to be friends with me permanently. That's how all my other friendships end. People become friends with me if they need something, then they drop me as soon as they don't need me anymore. I kinda try to not get attached to people anymore because of it. But with Awsten I just couldn't help it, he pulled me in with his humor, his kindness, and his amazing personality. I'm not good enough for him guess and he thinks deserves better. I guess he's not wrong.

The hours of me thinking and putting myself down more then I probably should went quickly. All the others are getting showered or dressed, so I guess I should too.

I take a shower because I wanted to relax, but had to be quick because Otto was impatiently waiting behind me for a shower too. I just leave my hair down since its quick and do my usual makeup.  Before I know it we are in the car on our way to the party.

The whole ride has been uncomfortably quiet, and Ciara has been shooting my daggers the whole time, which is nice. Geoff noticed I guess, so he's been telling me stories trying to distract me. They are mostly stuff that's happened with him, Otto, and Awsten, so I can see all of the stuff he's telling me actually happening. That just makes me laugh harder, and Ciara screech, I mean giggle, at his stories too.

Once we get to the party I see lots of people already there, which makes me nervous. I'm not good around big crowds. We make our way through the crowd of sweaty people dancing, I guess we got here late, because everyone is already drunk. The guys all separate and talk to other people happily. I go into the kitchen and pour myself a drink, seeing as I have nothing better to do. 

"Hey, what's your name?'' 

I look over towards where the voice came from and see a girl. She's medium height and is really pretty. she also has freshly dyed pink hair too.

"Oh Hi! I'm Amber!'' I yell over the loud music.

"I'm Grace!"

We make small talk for a bit, asking each other random questions and telling each other jokes.

"So I hear your the new member of Waterparks, how's that going?'

"It's good for the most part, kinda stressful. It's been really fun, though"

She nods her head and I look up from her to the people dancing, my eyes skim over the faces before I see a patch of blue hair. I close my eyes and look back at it, and of course I see him and Ciara dancing dangerously close. I watch for another moment before looking at my drink and swirling it around.

"I used to date him, the girl with him is what ended our relationship actually. " Grace tells me, I guess she caught my line of vision.

"What?" I ask, completely turn my body to hers, watching as she makes her way to stand by me.

"We were going smoothly, then at a bar after a show she was all over him and I thought he was flirting back. So I broke up with him. One of his friends was talking to me and told me the whole story, so I know now he wasn't flirting back, it was just her." She looks at my shocked expression and pats my back before walking away to get something else to drink.

I knew Ciara was rude but, wow. That's low even for her. I look back to where she and Awsten were previously dancing, but they aren't there. I look around some more before I feel a pointy finger nail poke at my back. I turn around and see the last person I want to right now, Ciara. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under. She twirls her hair with one hand and holds a cup in the other. 

''Look, sweetheart. I don't know what that bitch Grace told you, but don't come near Awsten, got it?" she tells me with a devilish grin. I cant even form words, my mouth hangs open, and my eyes are the size of saucers.

"He is mine, he doesn't love you! He never even liked you is what he told me, and he never will. Get over it." She giggles and smiles at me before walking back to Awsten where she gives him a kiss, then glares in my direction. I cover my mouth and run outside, while hot tears fall from my face.

Once outside and away from all the people I slide down a wall and sobs escape my mouth.

What just happened?