When I open my eyes, Glade is already awake. He's sitting up against the headboard, his fingers running through my hair. The touch is gentle, like he doesn't want to wake me. I smile softly.

"'Morning.." He glances downward at the sound of my voice, meeting my eyes with a gentle curve of his lips. 

"'Mornin'." Neither of us say anything after that, so we lay there in silence for what feels like hours, but is probably just a couple of minutes, just basking in the rays of sun streaming in through the now open window. 

Between the warmth from the sun and the gentle touches of Glade, I almost drift back to sleep, only to be startled awake by the feeling of the hand tangled in my hair phasing through it. My stomach drops like a rock at the loss of his touch, and I kick free of the sheets, scrambling onto my hands and knees. Glade's eyes are closed, and his skin is transparent. Panic quickly overtakes my body. Glatt didn't tell me what to do if Glade passed out again!

"Dream! Dream! Calm down!" The hand returns, this time cupping my face. Glade's bloody irises find mine, his eyebrows scrunched in concern. "I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere." I sink into his hold, my breaths come fast and hard, heart pounding in my chest.

I don't believe you.

The thought rattles around in my mind, the only thing ringing in my ears as he stares at me. He died, and then he damn near came close to dissolving or whatever the fuck happens to people who don't become ghosts, and now he just randomly goes transparent on me and expects me to not freak out?!

"For the love of XD," I start, my voice shaking. Glade's expression softens slightly. "Warn me before you do that." He blinks, then nods, slowly letting go of my face. 

"...Sorry."

"You should be, asshole." He barks out a short laugh, and my lips curl into a tentative smile. "Seriously though. When you collapsed I-" my words catch in my throat and I swallow them back down. I thought you had left me again. 

Shame pools in my stomach at that. I shouldn't be this attached to Glade. It doesn't make sense. Why does just the thought of him dying hurt so much? Why does simply imagining a future where he is not at my side make me feel so sad? So empty? So... Lonely?

I tried to have friends once, but they got tired of my constant scheming quick, and didn't bother looking past the surface of my actions. I also got bored of getting blamed for literally anything that went wrong, so after I caught wind of a betrayal attempt, I just left. I've worked pretty much on my own ever since, (with some outside help of course) and I have made my peace with spending the rest of my life alone in a cottage deep in the middle of some faraway forest. 

But now, a golden crown and pointed smile flashes in my mind every time I think of the future. Already, waking up without a head of pink hair beside mine is near unthinkable. When I think of happiness, it is lazy evenings by the fireplace with Techno near enough that I don't need a blanket to keep warm.

It's wrong, XD knows it is. 

I am chaos, I am misery. I am destruction incarnet, and yet I yearn for peace. He is forgiveness, he is safety. He is rivers of blood that flow through flower-studded fields. He is last person left who is untouched by my corruption, and that is reason enough to push him away right now. 

But the way the light hits his face in this moment says otherwise; how it softens his sharp features and chases away the shadows under his eyes. The sun rays catch the corner of his lip, pulling it up.

I don't deserve him.

I don't want to let him go.

Catching my eye, Glade smiles.

"I already told you," he murmurs, his arm snaking around my torso, pulling me close. "I'm not gonna leave ya."

"Are y' ready, Dream?" Glade asks. I chuckle awkwardly, glancing once more at the tall copper post the ghost is tied to.

"Why are you asking me?" I respond. "You're the one getting struck by lightning." He laughs as raindrops start to fall, as though I've just told the funniest joke in the world.

"Seriously though," I press, his eyes following me as I pace not-so-inconspicuiously around the edge of the clearing. "Are you sure that it's safe to be doing this so soon after you woke up?" My anxieties remain far from sated as he simply laughs again, streams of water running down his face like tear tracks.

"As long as you're here, I'll be as safe as a polar bear in a blizzard." He assures me at last, meeting my eyes the the kind of fondness that can't faked. I avert my eyes, cheeks flushing pink beneath the chilled clay of my mask. The fuck was that supposed to mean??

Thunder groans out from the sky before I get a chance to respond, echoing out around the clearing like the ringing of a thousand bells. The world flashes white, and barely half a mile away a tree bursts into shivering flames.

I swallow thickly again, glancing over at Glade.

The ghost looks deathly calm, similar to a death row inmate who has made peace with their end. He looks prepared to suffer. He looks like he thinks the suffering will be worth it.

I don't want him to suffer.

Another snap of thunder shakes the ground, startling a flock of crows into flight. Glade meets my eyes with a lazy smile playing on his lips, opening his mouth to say something as the wind picks up. 

The clouds split apart and a blinding streak of light crashes downward, meeting the top of the copper post and surging into Glade's body. Glowing white veins race across his skin, leaving behind trails of steam and the scent of burning skin.

And then, he began to scream.

I'll tell y' this only once, alright? I don't want to corrupt your memory.

Alright! Anything you say, I want to hear.

...I'm sorry. 

What for?

Never mind. Doesn't matter. I'll get on with it.

Alright!

I was there, at the scene. I woke up for just a few seconds at most. It was horrible. My head was poundin' worse than the morning after Wilbur had dared me to chug a bottle of Vodka straight, and everythin' was so loud. And then, it all went quiet. For one short moment, across the road I saw you. And then they covered your body with a white sheet. Time stopped countin' for me then, and inside my head, I began to scream.

I'm sorry, Dave.

It's so loud... 

I don't want you to suffer like this. How can I help? Let me help.

I don't want you to suffer like this, Glade

I don't want you to suffer like this, Dave

It's not your fault, Clay. 

It's always been mine.

~•~

Uh- new update? 😀👍

H-ha-hahaaaaa....

Yeah this chapter was never gonna be fluff lolol

Anywayzzzzz, happy holidays and perhaps a Christmas update will happen?

(Not religious, just a sucker for shiny things and romantic vibes <3)

(NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS)

(Please send help its like two in the morning I've got a 2 in science I hate my teacher THIS IS HOW I COPE)

Oh yeah also I've seen that some other authors do like Q&A's about themselves and the story. Is that something any of you would be interested in? If so I can come up with some questions and answer them, or you guys can ask questions and I'll answer them in the comments or on a chapter or something.

Again, totally up to you guys! (I completely understand just wanting me to just shut up and write the next chapter lol just tell me and I will immediately shut down this Q&A idea :D)

Anyway,

Love you all and good byeeeeee <3333