this is so genuinely inspiring and i wanted to share it with you guys...

I have always wanted to be the girl that has a stable relationship with a decent guy. However, I ended up being the girl that skips from guy to guy and never having a constant in my life.

My friends never judged me for this. My best friend knew I was a hopeless romantic and slutting around was just my way of searching for true love. She didn't agree with it though, but she had come to acceptance with it. She always said to me, "You need to love yourself before you love someone else." I never understood this, and frankly, I never listened to this.

I should have taken her word for it when she told me, because three heart breaks later, I have finally realised the meaning of this cliche yet so thoughtful advice. We are half way through February and I have been single since last October- longest I have been single in 5 years.

Quite often, I miss having tea with someone, snuggling up in a blanket with someone and being told I'm beautiful. But for these past few months, I learnt that I don't need another person to be present in my life for there to be a constant. The only person that has stood by me my entire life is me, myself. It has taken me 15 years to come to the realisation that I choose who I am. If one day, I look into the mirror and do not like the person I have changed to, I am the only one that has control over who I become. I can be whatever I want.

I was convinced I needed a healthy relationship to influence my life positively. But that is not true. I can have a healthy lifestyle which can influence my life positively instead. I loved myself by respecting myself. I respected myself by removing any toxic people present in my life, deleting hurtful thoughts from my mind, avoided backbiting, and surrounded myself with people I love and people that love me back. Even minute things like, drinking more water, getting an appropriate amount of sleep, avoiding drinking and smoking, smiling more, laughing more, helped.

I now trust myself. I avoided guys for only around 6 months and stopped hurting myself by jumping into relationships. I recently got my heart broken again, but this time I coped. It was because I am now in a mental state where someone else's negative attitude towards me cannot penetrate the level of happiness I have come to reach.

I have tea by myself, I snuggle in a blanket by myself, and I know that I am beautiful. I don't need a constant anymore. I am the constant.