Deteriorating Sanity

My only true friends, a fully charged phone and menthol cigarettes


Slipping away in varying degrees, as the degrees in the air shift in the Florida weather. Unpredictable


My head's in the clouds, but not the way I want it to be, sobriety is kicking my fucking ass, and I just want someone to make the sobriety worth it


Cause I kill my mind with narcotics alone, it's an experience that makes me want to not socialize


Which is perfect cause when I'm not high or drunk or tripping hard as can be, conversations lead to nothing


What do I do with myself when I'm so misguided and so distraught? It's like a loop, I'm happy, I'm depressed, I'm happy, then depressed again


This is barely a poem anymore, I can't write for shit. Nor can I draw for shit, or sing for shit, and my motivation is barely any to none whatsoever


Because what's the point? Nothing good comes from trying, or being nice. Am I playing myself? When playing with myself brings more happiness than the people around me, I know I've failed in life


Maybe things will look up if I keep on trying, but at the moment I'm lost, slowly slipping into madness


I don't really care if I don't come back anyways, so here's to being bonkers and edgy, your point never comes across anyways, so I'll try not to write about my feelings anymore


I fall in love the wrong people and hate myself more and more each day for that and many other things. Do I talk about it?? Nah, there isn't much anyone can do to help anyways, so it's mainly just a bother and yet another depressing thing to think about within the multitude of depressing things that make up an overall depressing life.


Fuck you, and fuck me. I'm over this shit, and I just want to leave. But I can't, cause I have a dog that might be sad if I do. Maybe. So I'll continue chain smoking till the inevitable happens

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