CH 13: I'm Sorry

With the days of the festival over, everything was truly back to normal. Normal classes, normal downtime, normal everything. Even though the music festival was fun, it felt great to have some time to kill.


After you were done with breakfast, Asmo insisted on you coming back to his room with him. According to Asmodeus, his skincare routine hadn't been quite as thorough as it normally was thanks to everything going on, and he wanted you to be a part of what he called a "full revitalization day".


The two of you sat on his bed, facing each other as you did skin care together. He had just finished putting a face mask on you, and was now applying it to his own face.


"So how are you and Belphie doing?" Asmo asked quietly as he glanced in the hand mirror that was sitting next to his bag of skincare products. "We're doing... good?" You replied, a little confused.


"Ahh you two are so cute! How long have you been together?" Asmodeus sat the mirror down and looked at you expectantly.


You gaped back at Asmodeus, and you could feel your face mask wrinkle. "Hey! Stop stop stop! What are you doing?" Asmo scolded you, and you did your best to not look quite so shocked as he tried to smooth it back out. "Sorry it's just— Belphie and I aren't together."


At your response, Asmodeus seemed flabbergasted. "What! Why not?"


"Wha? What do you mean 'why not'?" You asked. In that moment, it seemed like you and Asmo were equally confused with each other.


"You like him don't you?" Asmo laughed, and continued applying his own face mask now that yours was fixed. "I mean I don't really know if I—"


"Well if you don't know if you like him, then are you in love with him?" Asmodeus cut you off, and gave you a gentle yet knowing glance. Taking your silence as an answer, Asmo just smiled. "It's okay, you know. You're allowed to have feelings."


You mindlessly scrolled through Devilgram on your phone, thinking of what Asmo said. He wasn't wrong. But it isn't like you've really talked about it with anyone either.


"I'm just scared it'll ruin what we have already. He's my best friend, Asmo. I don't want to mess that up," you explained quietly as you fidgeted with your phone.


"Oh hon, you won't mess anything up. Trust me," Asmodeus replied softly as he stared into his hand mirror. "But what if I do! You don't know that," you sighed defeatedly.


Asmodeus began laughing again. "Oh I so do know that," he replied, shaking his head. A loud tone came from your phone, and Asmo just gave you a look. "I swear if that's Belphie—"


"Oh come on, it's probably not going to be Belphie. Just because we were talking about him doesn't mean it's him. He usually naps in the attic around this time, so he probably isn't awake right—"


2 New Messages from: Belphie!


Incoming;
"Hey, meet me in the attic in 10?"


"I'm getting a late start on my morning nap, but I'd like you to join me if you want to."


You stared at the messages on your phone, cursing the timing that those texts were sent. Asmo leaned over your shoulder, glancing at the texts on the screen before giving you a shit eating grin. "What was that you said? 'Probably not Belphie', hmm?" He teased. "Oh whatever!" You laughed.


"Alright, well let's get that face mask washed off of you and you'll be good to go my dear!" Asmo replied cheerily, leading you to his bathroom.


He gently washed the face mask off, and started applying a serum onto your skin afterwards. "We have to make sure you look extra good for your little date!"


"Asmo, it isn't a date!" You insisted, and Asmodeus just grinned as he finished putting products on your skin. "There! I even used some of my best products to make sure your skin glows a little extra!"


"Thank you," you laughed, noticing how light and clean your face felt. "I'm gonna swing by my room before I head to the attic, so I'll have to catch you later."


"Let me know how it goes!" Asmo waved at you with a wink. "Good luck on your date!"


"It still isn't a date!" You reminded him and pulled his door shut.


After stopping by your room to grab your pillow and blanket, you made your way up to the attic. Belphegor was already there situating some of the pillows along the headboard of the bed.


"Oh hey! You're early. I brought some more pillows up to make the bed more comfy," he explained proudly.


"I brought my pillow and blanket to add to it too," you held them up, and Belphegor hurried to take them off of your hands. "Here, I'll get it set up! Just wait a sec," He explained, and went back to getting everything in its place.


Belphegor was soon done getting the bed set up, and he crawled under the blankets excitedly. "Okay, come on!" He smiled, holding the blankets back for you.


You crawled into the bed beside him, finding it endearing how excited he was just to nap with you. As always, it felt like you were laying in a cloud when you laid in the attic bed.


"Man, this bed feels better than normal. I know it's probably just because we haven't had much down time in the last few weeks but it's so nice," you yawned and pulled the blanket back over you.


You looked up at Belphegor, who was unusually silent. "Belphie? You okay?" You asked quietly.


Belphegor brought his hand up and gently ran his thumb across your neck. "These... these are from me aren't they."


"What are—" you started, but soon realized what he meant after you started talking. He was talking about the scars along your neck from the day he nearly killed you.


"Oh... they are, yeah," you replied in a voice just above a whisper. "I didn't realize they were still visible."


"I feel ridiculous that I've never noticed them before now. They're faint but they're there," Belphegor whispered back, his thumb still delicately tracing over them.


Tears built in Belphegor's eyes, giving them a glassy look. "I'm sorry," his voice cracked, and the tears spilled over onto his cheeks. "Fuck, I'm so sorry."


"Hey, it's okay Belphie. We took our time to be friends. We're past it now, right? I forgive—"


"No. Please don't. I don't deserve to be forgiven for that, I— I almost killed you," he cut you off, his voice shaky. "I don't even know if I want you to forgive me."


"Belphegor. Deciding to forgive you is my choice to make, isn't it?" You asked, but Belphegor didn't respond.


"That's my choice. All of that happened so long ago anyways, and you've changed since then, right? I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me now."


Belphegor wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tightly to his chest. "I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you, okay?"


"Just be kind to yourself for me," you mumbled, trying to hold back a yawn. "And learn to trust yourself a little more."


When you hugged him back, you could feel the way his body trembled as he tried to hold back whatever tears he could.


The two of you laid there in silence as you held each other close while he cried. His tears eventually settled down, and he had fallen asleep shortly after. It broke your heart that he practically cried himself to sleep.


Hopefully Belphegor would feel better after he woke up, and the two of you could go do something together or make some food with Beel. As long as it helped him cheer up a little.


After you brushed the hair from his eyes, you slowly lost the battle with your heavy eyelids and fell asleep holding on to the Avatar of Sloth.


• • •


Who knew just how long he had been laying with you like this. A couple minutes? An hour? He didn't know, and he didn't care.


Belphegor had woke back up a little while ago, and no matter how hard he tried to go back to sleep, he couldn't. He decided to stop fighting it and just enjoy his time with you. Well, near you in this case. You were still out cold.


Maybe it was the talk you just had that kept him awake and thinking, or maybe it was how cute you looked when you were sleeping. You looked so peaceful and relaxed... yeah, it was definitely the latter.


Not that the conversation you shared didn't stick with him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he always assumed that a small part of you would hate him for what he did. Knowing that you didn't have any resentment towards him felt like a weight off of his shoulders.


Belphegor pulled you a little closer and smiled. After snuggling into you a bit more, he closed his eyes. Selfishly, he wished the two of you could stay like this forever. Sleep unfortunately tugged at the back of his mind.


As much as he wanted to stay awake, he'd definitely feel like garbage later if he didn't try to get some sleep soon. Whether he spent the next while awake or asleep, he didn't mind as long as he was by your side.


• • •


"Guys.. hey, c'mon, wake up," Beelzebub's voice called out to you. Belphegor let out an agitated sigh and lazily looked over to face his twin. "What?" He asked with a yawn.


You and Belphegor let go of each other as you sat up and threw the blanket off of you. With a slight stretch, you also looked at Beelzebub. "Satan made lunch today," he explained. "It's ready."


"Oh sweet," you replied, feeling a little more awake. "Satan always makes good lunches." You added, and Beelzebub nodded happily in agreement.


You stood up and started towards the door, and Belphegor stood up to follow you. Beelzebub was quick to put a hand on Belphie's shoulder and send a smile your way.


"You can go on ahead. I wanted to talk to him about something real quick. We'll be down soon," Beelzebub explained.


"Alright, I'll see you guys down there in a second!" You smiled back, and left down the stairs.


• • •


After Belphegor couldn't hear your footsteps anymore, he turned back to Beel with an agitated look. "What?"


"I just wanted to talk to you," Beelzebub replied seriously. Belphegor pushed himself off of the bed and brushed Beelzebub's hand from his shoulder. "Beel can't this wait until later?"


"No. It can't," Beelzebub responded with an unusual seriousness. "I want to talk to you about this now."


"What's wrong?" Belphegor yawned, still trying to wake up from the nap you two shared. "Nothings wrong, but I wanted to talk about you being in love with a human," Beelzebub replied, crossing his arms awkwardly.


There was an uncomfortable tension in the air, and Belphegor felt is stomach churn. "I don't want to talk about it Beel." He mumbled, and headed towards the door.


Beelzebub hurried to block his way, arms spread wide to cover the door completely. "We're not doing this. We are going to talk about this right now."


"Beel do you want to fight or something?" Belphegor grumbled. "If you did fight me, you wouldn't win. You know that," Beelzebub replied sadly.


"What the hell ever! Just let me go get lunch," Belphegor tried to push past Beel, but his efforts were in vain. It was like trying to overpower a large brick wall. Beelzebub looked down at him with a sad look on his face. "Belphie, why can't you just talk to me?"


At his brother's silence, Beelzebub lowered his arms. "Belphie I don't mean to push you about it so much but—"


"It's because I don't know what to say, Beel" Belphegor interrupted quietly, annoyance laced in his words. "And I don't have the energy to try to figure that out."


"Just talk to me about it. It doesn't have to make sense," Beelzebub nearly begged. "That's what I'm here for. Please?"


"Fine Beel! Fine. You wanna talk about it so bad? Do you want to know why it bothers me so much? I'm scared. I'm terrified, really. I can't even understand the depths of what I feel, let alone wonder how they feel. I'm in love with a human and I—" Belphegor paused to take a shaky breath, "—I just wonder if this is how Lilith felt."


"Belphie..." A sad look crossed Beelzebub's face as realization hit him. "I'm sorry."


"I just don't want my feelings to hurt anyone," Belphegor mumbled back sadly. "Now can we please  just go to lunch?"


"Yeah," Beelzebub nodded, and the two set off down the stairs. Belphegor led the way slowly, his tired body still trying to catch up with his mind.


"You know, this isn't the Celestial realm," Beel spoke up thoughtfully. "Nobody's going to be mad at you for falling in love with a human. I don't think you have much to be scared over," he continued.


Belphegor stopped in the middle of the spiral staircase causing Beelzebub to bump into him. He turned around and looked at Beel with a thoughtful look on his face. "Do you really think so?"


Beelzebub nodded seriously. "I do really think so. Especially with the realms opening up to one another more. I don't think it would be a problem at all. You could probably ask Diav—"


"I am not going to go begging Diavolo for answers," Belphegor scoffed. "If you really think they won't mind, then I trust it. I trust you. And if there's a problem, you'll have my back, right?" Beelzebub beamed at Belphegor's boost of confidence. "Always."


Belphegor smiled back at him and continued down the stairs. "Alright Beel... now let's go get some lunch."


• Author's Note •
Hey y'all! C: I decided to publish this chapter a tiiiint bit early >:3 I'm also sorry about the amount of weird little time skips (again). But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless :,) I have the rest of the story mapped out and I'm working hard on it! Anyways, I hope you guys have a good day! As always, thank you for reading <3

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