~Joey~

I may have lied.

Coach didn't tell me to try and get along with Sammy. Sure, he'd probably want us to be friends, he just didn't pull me aside to say that.

I'll admit, I was a jerk, I tend to be an asshole with people I don't know. Spencer told me that my side eyes weren't very sly and the team is going to suffer if one of the co-captains is openly a dick to the other. I don't mean to be rude, I just happen to not enjoy the presence of a human being I don't know very well.

    Anyway, Spencer ended up giving me like, fifty dollars to be nice to the guy and hey, money is money, right? Obviously, I took the cash, mainly because I didn't think Sammy would actually agree to hang out with me. Well, he did agree. I feel like my head started to malfunction because I don't know how to proceed with this "friendship."

    Lost in thought, my phone starts ringing, I look at the caller ID and ignore it. Mom. Haven't heard from her in a while, if she can go years without talking, she can wait a few hours. I pulled out my favorite book, the one I always pick up when I'm in one of those moods. The Song of Achilles, written by Madeline Miller. I've lost count of all the times I've read this book.

    No one suspects a guy like me to be into books like that. Most people think that people like the book solely for the romance, for some it may be that way, but not for me. For me, it's the poetry, how the author weaves words together to make such beautiful sentences, how she writes is euphoric.

    "I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world."

    "In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun."

    I could get lost in her words for centuries if I could, but something always interrupts. Whether it be my mom or some kid trying to be friendly. Like always, my phone starts ringing while I was finishing a chapter. Mom. That woman cannot just leave me alone, she's been able to do it before but the moment I ignore her, she's persistent.

I pick up. "What do you want?" I grumble into the phone, wanting to get this call over with.

"Is that any way to talk to your mother? I knew I shouldn't have left you with your father, that man doesn't know a single thing about manners." I roll my eyes, knowing she's probably doing the same but for a completely different reason. You shouldn't have left, period. I thought to myself but I knew I wasn't going to say it aloud.

    I guess I've been silent for 'too long' for her standard so she started yelling. "You better still be there, Joseph! Do you know how disrespectful it it to ignore your mother?"  This woman is just full of rhetorical questions that I really want to answer. Do you know how fucking rude it is to ignore your child? "I'm still here," I mumbled, unfortunately. "Good, now, we need to arrange a decent time for you to come visit," her snippy voice makes me want to rip my ears off. "It doesn't matter, how does Saturday work?" I ask, not trying to hide the annoyance in my voice. She let out an exasperated gasp, "God, Joseph, I am a very busy woman, you can't just throw out a random day! What time would you come over, do you know if I'm doing anything that day?" 

    I am so done with this conversation, how could I possibly know what she is doing, I don't even know what she does as a living. "Have some competence, Joseph, as always, you leave all the work for your mother to do. We'll be meeting on Sunday, I will text you the address you will be meeting me at, I will expect you there at 12, do not be late." Her stern voice is starting to give me a headache, I numbly answer in affirmative, not really going to go through in seeing her. I sometimes call her my momster for a reason, she is not a good mother.

    Good moms don't leave their kids.

    I finally hung up and ended that horrible conversation with the witch I'm forced to call my mother.

~

    I finally had the chance to get back into my book and it was like falling into a different universe. A universe where I didn't have a deadbeat narcissistic mother and that role is filled my Achilles who has to deal with a mom like Thetis.

    It was comforting to read a story in which a character as powerful and great as Achilles had to deal with such minuscule issues like and absentee mom.

    Achilles, was fated to be the greatest hero whose name was to live forever in the storybooks, and it has. But no one speaks of his best friend and supposed lover who, in some stories, gave his life so Achilles wouldn't lose his. But in the end, Achilles could not escape tragedy and soon joined his lover in the afterlife. 

    Most people paint this picture of me that I'm homophobic or just generally uncomfortable around gay people, but I'm not. I have no idea how people came to that conclusion, yes, I occasionally make some unpleasant looking faces but that is all they are, faces. One of my best friends happens to be gay and I know a lot of people use that as an excuse, but it's true.

    Danny and Spencer. The three of us have been best friends since third grade and have been through thick and thin. I was there when Danny came out, and when Spencer opened up to us about his anxiety and his family not understanding his condition. Even when around someone who had to come to terms with their homosexuality, not once did I ever question my sexuality, I had been somewhat confident in my ability to feel attracted to girls. 

    But it's like a switch was flipped, images flooded my brain of hazel eyes and curly brown hair. I close my book and hit it to my forehead, I cannot be having a gay crisis right now. My face started to burn when I think of his smile, the way his curls bounce when he runs, the intensity of his glare that's always directed at me.

    Sammy was just my teammate and besides, I'm being paid to get along with him. I cannot be developing feelings for someone I don't like, right? Right?!

    Shit. 

    I pick up my phone and scrolled through my contacts, after finding the one I needed, I quickly pressed call.

    Spencer's voice came out of the speaker, "Yo what's up?"

    "I have a problem."

i deeply apologize if this chapter seems a little shorter than the others, i feel like the more chapters i make, they less it would look like im rushing the relationship like i usually do, (its a problem) but i am trying my best and all i ask is for patience, this is the first story i have actually tried to make good

anyway, later monsters