I choose to wear blue skinny jeans, a cream long sleeved knitted jersey with a plain white singlet underneath, a mint colour scarf and black converse shoes.

I lean against the door frame of the front door, as I wait for Harry to come down the stairs. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and text Caleb;

*Are you busy today? I'm bored and honestly, we need to talk*

I decide on texting Lacey as well since I'm in the talkative mood today, I send to her;

*Hey girl, so you said we needed to talk. I'm free today are you?*

I send both and put my phone back into my jeans and look up to see Harry running down the stairs in black jeans, a white button-up shirt and a grey hoodie over it, along with his famous Toms he wears with everything.

"Ready to go?"

I question my beautiful baby brother; he is the sweetest thing in the world. He honestly wouldn't even hurt a bug, he just loves life. I wish I had the same spirits as he does, but he also reminds me of exactly how our mum use to be. I tear up at the thought of her, but as soon as Harry's hand entwines with mine I can't help but smile as we walk swinging our arms like crazy out the door, he runs off to the car as I lock up the house.

I hope that Jace comes home soon, I can't do this big sister act thing for much longer, or else I can feel myself starting to break, and I will not do it, not in front of Sam, Marnie and Harry. My thought are interrupted by the vibration of my phone I pull it out of my pocket and open the newly created message that sits on my screen;

*There's nothing to talk about Lily, you need to drop it ok.*

I sigh and take Harry to his friend's house. After I drop him off I sit in the car for awhile just staring out the window thinking about Caleb's text and why he doesn't want to talk about it. I shake my head and turn on my car, along with the temperature and head towards the strip of town with all the shops and our local movie theatre.

I pull into the parking lot and sit in my warm car for much longer than I should be with the temperature up high and the car still running. I don't care the battery can go flat if it wants; it's too damn cold not to have it on.

I look out my rare view mirror just as I'm about to get out of my car and hurry into the closest shop when I see Caleb. Not only do I see Caleb. I see him holding hands with a girl that I recognise but can't put a name to her face. My heart drops, I know he left angry but I didn't think he'd go out and hook up with another girl less than 24 hours of us being together.

I watch them walk hand in hand up along the strip and walk into the movie theatre. I shake my head and reach for my phone and open a clear message and send a text to Caleb;

*I don't care that you have anything to say, I do! Now get your ass out of the movie theatre and come talk to me. Now!*

I send it and put my phone into my pocket and turn off my car and push open the door. A cold gust of wind hits my face, causing my nose and cheeks to flush bright pink. I hop out of the car and lock it. I check that the road is clear and cross quickly, and stand by the entrance of the theatre and wait for Caleb.

After 15 minutes of waiting, I pull myself up from the concrete which was freezing on my butt, I adjust my top and walk back across the street, and as I reach my car I hear a voice I didn't expect to hear, not today anyways.

"What do you want Lily?"

I feel as if I'm going to scream, but instead of screaming I turn on my heels and lean against the boot of my car with my arms folded tightly across my chest. Look Caleb directly in the eyes, but from the distance, we are at it doesn't seem to bother him as much as I would have liked it too.

"Go home, Lily."

His words hit me like a tonne of bricks and before I can notice my reaction, my palm connects with his cheek. I don't think he expected that. My eyes start to sting from his harsh words.

"What did you tell her? Huh? What that you needed to use the bathroom? I better not hold you too long."

I fold my arms and take a few steps back from our closeness, I see his breath leave his mouth as he opens but quickly closes as he shakes his head and looks down at his feet. I cannot believe him right now, he's being a complete asshole and after everything we've been through over the years he's being a complete ass.

"I didn't want this to happen..."

His voice trails off as he looks up connecting his eyes directly with mine; his eyes are brimming with tears as he struggles to get his words out correctly. I remain silent waiting for the remainder of his words to flow.

"Lily, what happened between us, the kiss it shouldn't have happened you were in a hard place, and I took advantage. But I..."

"No! You are completely correct you had no right, but it wasn't just you. I can't stand here and act all innocent because I was egging you on and you know it."

I take a few deep breaths containing my emotions, because if I don't contain them I will completely break down on the strip of Jasper and I don't feel like letting that happen, at least not today.

"But I couldn't take advantage of you Lily. I... love you, Lily."

My eyes grow wide. I'm completely shocked, love that's not possible I would have been able to tell. I think about that word for a moment.

"Everything I have done for you over the years, it wasn't just because you are my best friend Lily it was because I love you. I've loved you since we were 10. I know it's crazy but it's true."

It all makes sense everything is piecing together now; him sticking up for me when I was getting bullied, tutoring me in Math because I was failing. Everything is making sense now; he wasn't just being nice and my best friend. He loved me, no he loves me.

"Caleb I..."

"Don't, I know you don't feel the same. I've known for so many years now, and I've learnt to deal with that. So it's ok, I just needed to tell you."

He smiles at me and I can't help but smile back.

"Why do you think I keep dating all these girls? It's so I can get my mind off you."

He laughs, how is he so happy about this? He knows the girl that he loves doesn't love him back yet he's happy.

"Caleb I don't get it, how are you happy?"

"Because at least I don't have to hide it from you anymore, and I know that at the end of the day you're still my best friend and that's all the matters."

I pull my arms around his neck, inhaling that familiar scent that I love so much, should I be using that word? Love. I do love him just not in the way he wishes.

"I'm not going anywhere Ca, you're my best friend, always have been, always will be."

He hugs me tightly and laughs into my ears which are that familiar sound that fills me with happiness. I laugh with him and remember he's actually on a date. I pull him out of our hug.

"You should get back to your date before she thinks you left her. And I've got my date with shopping!"

I laugh and poke my tongue at him. He frowns

"Can I just ditch and come shopping with you? She's making me go to a chick flick you know how much I hate them."

He whines into my ear wrapping his arms around my waist and nudging his nose into my cheek. I laugh and sigh.

"Yeah go on then, flick a text to her and make up an excuse why you had to leave."

He chuckles and pulls his phone out of his back pocket and sends a message to his 'date' I really don't like that word, it bothers me. Totally not sure why it does but yeah dates they bother me.

Caleb slings his arm around my shoulder and smiles walking with my along the strip. We are walking for about 5 minutes when we come outside of my favourite shop 'Jay Jay's'. I let off a cheesy grin and pull Caleb inside.

"Why do you like this shop I don't understand?"

He moans, while I take a few items down from the walls looking at the few and putting them back, I feel for my wallet. I frown.

"Shit, are you kidding me, my wallet is in my car."

"I'll pay."

I laugh and once I realise he's not laughing I quickly stop and realises he is serious.

"No you don't, I'm not letting you pay for my shopping trip, I could go store crazy and buy everything and you're willing to pay?"

I question him popping my eyebrow up and look him in the eye, he holds his arms out and I gladly walk into them.

"I don't care if you buy the whole strip, I'm willing to pay. I have a job remember, you don't."

I poke my tongue at him and wiggle from his grasp. I laugh and nod smiling as I skip over to the nearest shelf and look of the items of clothing that sit in front of me. I pick two pairs of blue denim shorts and two Disney themed tank tops. After I try them on and agree on a good size I put them on the counter and smile at Caleb. He chuckles and pays for them as the lady across the counter hands me my bag.

"You two are a cute couple; I wish I had a boyfriend like him."

I look directly over to Caleb then back towards the checkout lady.

"We, um I'm not, we aren't."

I fumble with my words a bit before she realises where I'm getting at, Caleb sighs and he looks down at his feet.

"Sorry, I just assumed you two were my apologies."

I nod and quickly exit the store, back into the cold. I have no clue why I brought singlet's it's coming into winter. Wait why the store is selling summer clothes I don't know maybe that bitch of a shopping lady doesn't realise that it's winter. I look over at Caleb who remains quiet as he walks out of the store pulling up his hoodie. He trails along in silence as we walk to the next shop.

"Ca...I'm sorry she,"

"Drop it Lily. It's fine."

He smiles and stops looking into the shop next to us. I look up at the sign then into the shop. I roll my eyes at the shop he picks 'Bras and Things'

"I'm not taking you bra shopping Caleb."

He pouts then chuckles.

"Fine no bras. What about undies and playsuits?"

I hit him playfully across the arm and pull him along to the shop next store 'Kmart'. Now that I think about it I really don't need to go to the city to buy clothes, I can just live in Jasper my whole life and shop on the strip. I smile at the thought, my mum would be happy to know I'm thinking about staying in her hometown for my whole life but I can hear her saying;

"Get out there girl, you have the whole world to explore yet before you have to look after little old mum."

Pain hits my chest thinking about me looking after her in her uneasy stages. Thinking about her death, well suicide really does get me down. It's still a touchy subject. I've told Caleb everything about it. But since he did attend the funeral along with the rest of Jasper, he knows what happened.

"Lil, are you alright?"

He stops and looks at me with concern I've always loved the way he looks out for me, He's like my big brother. Again another shock of pain rushes through me thinking about Jace and Sam.

I nod my head and lean against the wall of Kmart pulling my arms into my chest. I breathe a deep breath out, with my eyes following the puff of air that surrounds me.

"I'm just thinking about mum."

He nods and doesn't say another word. We remain in silence on the side of the street for quite some time; until I feel as if I'm going to freeze I walk inside of Kmart. We look around for a bit, joking around pushing each other into the pile of pillows that lay on the floor. Caleb gets told to stack them neatly again by the lady who walked past us, and just so happened to work here as he jumped into them.

After cleaning them up and walking around the household items for a bit, I get bored and walk to the winter clothes. Caleb admires from affair looking at a rugby magazine he spotted. I laugh and look around a bit until I spot a black floor length long sleeved maxi dress. I smile and pick it off the rack and walk into the changing room. Stripping out of my clothes and pulling the tight fabric over my body, I poke my head out the door and call for Caleb to come have a look.

"Ready?"

I ask him, eager to get his opinion on it. I mean I love it. I just want to hear somebody's opinion while we're here.

"Hurry up and get your butt out here too,"

He trails off as I step out of the changing room, his jaw drops and stares at my body; admiring it, as his eyes glare all over my body from head to toe.

"Wow, Lily you look beautiful."

He swallows hard and pulls his hand through his hair tugging lightly at the roots. I try not to blush but I can't help it his comment throws me off.

"Thanks."

I laugh and walk back to the changing rooms and getting back into my normal clothes that I chose to wear today. I fix my hair up a bit and open up the door and find Caleb not there; I frown and drape the dress over my arms. I walk around for a little bit trying to find him but to my luck, I can't find him, so I walk back to the rack where I got the dress off and put it nicely back and walk out the door and stand outside.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Caleb;

*Where'd you go? I'm outside but I'm freezing so hurry up.*

I send it and put it back in my pocket and cross my arms over my chest and wait for Caleb. I wait for at least 5 minutes then decide to walk back towards my car. I frown and pull my head into my chest and try and keep myself warm. I shiver like crazy, I reach my car and pull open the door and slide into my ice box of a car, and I turn the engine on turning the temperature up to full. My cheeks are shining with a bright red coat. I rest my head on the steering wheel I take a moment to pull myself together. I think why Caleb would leave me in the middle of 'Kmart' but I try not to take it to heart. I buckle up my seat belt and put my car into reverse and head out of the car park. I head towards my house and as soon as I pull into my driveway my phone starts to vibrate, I quickly park my car and reach for my phone and open up the new message sitting on the screen;

*You left? I walked out of 'Kmart' and saw your car drive away.*

At the end of those 13 words, there is a sad face, I frown at the message a quickly send back defending myself;

*You were nowhere to be found, and I even sent you a text. But you didn't show up so I left. Sorry.*

I wait for the next reply before deciding on climbing out of my car and run into the house since it's freezing cold outside.

*Don't apologise, I'll come round later kay?*

I knew it wasn't a question he was going to come over whether I wanted him to or not. The only thing I send back is a smiley face, just so he knows I'm ok with him coming round.

I push open the door to my car and slam it closed as I run quickly on my feet towards the door. I push my keys into the door and open it, but to my surprise, it's already open. I open the door and close it quickly behind me and putting my keys into my jacket pocket and fold my arms across my chest.

"I'm home"

My voice fills the house, stride through and into the lounge. I plop myself onto the couch and pull out my phone and open up my music and put some on. I lay my head back on the couch and relax for a second or two when Sam's storming into the lounge. I quickly sit up and turn off my music and fold my arms across my chest and my face turns angry.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"For fucks sakes, I've only just got home, let me settle in before you start giving me a bloody lecture."

Who does he think he is? I understand he's having a hard time dealing with mum dying and dad leaving, but all of us are and what gives him the right to speak to me that way.

"Seriously Sam you're going to be a dick about it then fine, I don't care."

I fold my arms further into my chest and look him in the eyes and see what his next move will be. To my surprise it's nothing, he just shrugs and grabs the remote and turns on the TV. I sigh a pull myself up from the couch and walk out into the hallway. I head to go upstairs and into my room, I lie down on my bed and pull out my phone and turn on my playlist of songs and close my eyes listening to the words fill my head.