"I feel like I've been asking this a lot. Are you okay?" Sakiko asks Carl.

"Honestly? No," he admits.

"I'm sorry," she sighs.

"I know that things are already hard- especially after Noah. I know this place is.. rough. But, dad.. He didn't help matters."

"He was sticking up for a woman who was being beat by her husband," Sakiko reminds, "It wasn't.. It wasn't careless or selfish."

"It was more than that," Carl denies, "You weren't there."

Sakiko couldn't argue there. She didn't see Rick have what everyone is considering a 'breakdown'. She was with Maggie- having their own breakdowns over one negative and one positive pregnancy tests.

She didn't see Rick and Pete begin arguing. She didn't see them burst through a window- a fucking window. She didn't see Rick pull a gun on Deanna and other members of Alexandria. She didn't see Rick shove Carl.

That was what she was doing now. Rick had shoved Carl during the fight- leading to Carl's hand getting scraped and injured as he fell onto the road. Sakiko was the only one Carl was letting see the injury and clean it now.

"They don't kill people here. I don't know if that's because of their morals or just.. They don't know how to go about it," Carl continues, "But, they do kick people out. They exile them."

"You think they'll exile your dad?"

"He pointed a gun at innocent people. He scared everyone. Deanna has to be thinking about it at least."

"He wouldn't go alone. We'd all walk with him, right?" 

"You don't have to do that," Carl shakes his head, "You, Ryan, Nanami, Maggie, Glenn, Rosita- all of you. You're making it in here. You don't have to leave because of him."

Sakiko thinks about what Maggie had said- how they're all family.

"Just.. When-"

"If," Sakiko corrects.

"If it goes that way," Carl rephrases, "Could you take Judith?"

"What?"

"I'll have to go with him."

"Carl," she tugs his hand, forcing his eyes to hers, "No one is going anywhere. Stop thinking like that."

Carl looks down to the wound on his hand, "But-"

"No," Sakiko states firmly, "Trust me, dude. This will work out. Just.. How about you skip tonight? I'll go in your place. You've got a lot going on in your head- I'll go for you."

"Could.." Carl exhales, "Could you skip, too? I kind of.. Don't want to be alone."

Sakiko pats his hand, "I'll send Ryan in our place."

Carl laughs and Sakiko picks up the wipes, returning to cleaning the wound.

--

"You all right back there?" Daryl asks.

Nanami grunts, rolling over in his position- an awkwardly bent angle from where he'd thrown himself into the backseat.

"Alive," Nanami replies, "'s good enough."

"What.. What kind of people would do that?" Aaron gasps out.

"Some sick fuck with too much time on his hands," Nanami decides, finally sitting upright, "Next time we see a giant truck that has food on the side of it- I'm just gonna assume it's a trap."

"Probably the smart thing," Daryl agrees.

"I think I can crawl through the back seat.. Find the emergency latch and go out the trunk-"

"You wanna go out in that?" Aaron asks.

Nanami was so used to just.. sacrificing. He'd spent so much time taking chances and actually hoping one of those times cheating death would instead lead him into the arms of good old Grim Reaper.

"I mean.. yeah," he admits, "I'm small enough to fit. I think I'm fast enough, I could lead them away."

"Stop trying to get yourself killed, Na," Daryl speaks up, stern as ever, "We're gonna wait 'em out. Maybe something will come by and distract 'em."

"We could dehydrate faster than-"

"I said 'no', Nanami."

The strict tone was something not completely unfamilar to Nanami. 

Daryl had been Nanami and Sakiko's caretaker for, God.. Over a decade or so. Even when the world was still the world- they listened to Daryl more than their own father. But, Daryl was always careful to tread that line. He knew what tone of voice to use to not make them scared, chase them off, or anger them.

That, though.. That was a straight up 'dad voice'.

"Yes, sir," Nanami sighs, slumping back into the seat.

Fishing out a wrinkled pack of cigarettes, Daryl scoffs as he lights one up.

"Can I have one?" Nanami asks.

"When'd you start?" 

"Merle.. He gave me my first. Haven't had one since," Nanami admits.

Daryl peers to him through the rearview mirror. With a nod, he passes the pack and lighter to Nanami.

"He give you some speech about 'being a man'?"

"Who else are we talking about here?" Nanami laughs, though it didn't reach his eyes as pain was there instead.

"'Merle'?" Aaron repeats, "Is that one of your old group members?"

"My brother," Daryl answers, "He took care of Na for awhile when we got seperated. Me and Kiko were one place, Merle and Na were at another."

"Think you and Kiko had it better," Nanami comments before taking a long drag of the cigarette.

The feeling makes his eyes grow watery. Smoke in his lungs after so long. The taste so familar and nostalgic. He could almost feel Merle's hand on his back. Hear Merle in his ear.

"You should've been with us," Daryl shakes his head, that damned guilt sneaking in once more.

"If we had the choice, we would have been," Nanami reminds, "But.. We were there."

Aaron could tell this was a talk the two needed to have. But, it wasn't like he could walk away and give them space. Instead, he shrinks into his seat a bit as though they couldn't see him.

"I feel like I'm still there sometimes," Nanami adds.

"You ain't."

"No.. But, it's still with me."

Daryl didn't have words for that. if he were honest and, God forbid, he say it out loud.. Woodbury was still with him, too. The war was still in him. Merle's influence was still shaping him. The pain was still burning.

"I'm trying, though.." Nanami sighs, "Kiko- she's actually being a good inspiration for me. It feels backwards from when we were growing up. But, I guess after she dealt with me being the good one for so long, it was time we switched."

"She's doing good," Daryl agrees, "And I see that you're trying, Na."

Nanami nods, fiddling with his knife. He opens it and closes it, remembering the day Daryl had given it to him so clearly.

"I don't wanna die," Nanami reveals, "I know.. I know it seems that way. But, I don't."

Daryl's eyes trail back to the mirror to watch Nanami. He'd be a liar if he said that didn't make him worry and feel relieved at the same time.

"I think I just.. Want to stop hurting. After the things I did, maybe I deserved to go through shit, too. 'Eye for an eye' or whatever that saying was."

"It's different," Daryl tries, "Someone else was pulling those strings. Someone else put you in those situatuons. Someone else caused that."

"Feels like he's still here, too," Nanami frowns, "Like.. Even though Merle and Kiko ended it.. Ended him.. It still feels like he's here."

"Why?"

"All of the bad I see in people now.. It all feels like pieces of him. Even the walkers. It's like everything is just a part of him- like he's the bigger picture."

"That piece of shit ain't no God," Daryl returns to that stern voice, "He's not shit on on the bottom of your shoe. He's no 'bigger picture'."

"Feels that way."

"It ain't. He was just a piece of the rest. He's the little one- not everything else."

Nanami nods, pursing his lips as he combs over the thoughts.

The Governor was dead. Nanami had to understand that. He was gone. Everything he stood for was gone. Everything he built was gone. Everything he destroyed was gone and moved away from.

"He's dead, Na," Daryl says as if he'd been reading Nanami's mind, "The only dead we should be worrying. about is the ones outside this car."

Nanami tears his eyes from his knife to look out the window. If not for commong sense, he'd think he and one of the many walkers banging on the window had locked eye contact.

"They're assholes, too."