Hey.. do you know where Alexia could go? - I asked to one of our teammates.
- No, I thought she was in her room-.
- yeah I thought that too,but she's not there.
- I'm sorry Jenni.. I don't know where she is-.
-That's fine, I will find her later -. i took a deep breath, ignoring the fact of a bad feeling and morning sickness. I walked again to my room and grabbing my phone I called her but it was straight to voicemail.
- Ale, I need to tell you something important, I know we weren't good, but I really need to talk to you. Can you please come back to the hotel or tell me where are you and talk? I know is not ideal but now is done and... Please baby, just.. let's talk. I love you-. I hung up and told Lola I was going to take a walk to clear my head.

I was walking around the city, thinking about these last weeks/month's. Every day was a different fight for something. We weren't in a good place but even with those arguments or fights, my love for her never disappear. I keep walking a little more until I made it to a restaurant/bar and what I saw, make my heart hurt. My chest getting heavy. I couldn't breathe. Have you ever feel this sensation in your heart like if someone is stabbing you? That is what I felt that moment. Alexia was in that place, with her hand in someone else hands, her smile; God, her gorgeous smile, it wasn't for me, it was for another person. And those lips.. that is what hurts the most. She was kissing another person. I couldn't contain my tears, in that moment I knew I have to let her go. It wasn't healthy, it wasn't happiness. Everything was an argument, a fight, calling us words in a disrespectful way. Screaming at each other. Until one day, just.. out of nowhere a slap came to my face. With that, I realized how bad we were in that moment. How bad I was for her, I wasn't enough. And right now, seeing her with anyone else I knew. Just let her go Jenni. Pack your things and go. Let her be free.
I returned to the hotel with puffy eyes, cheeks with tears. Straight to the bathroom, to take a shower and hide there. My whole world broken. I didn't go to the team dinner, I just told Jorge if I could stay in my room because I didn't feel well. Just in my bed, crying silently because I knew I lost the most important person in my life. And with her, I lost my heart.
I wrote a letter for her, explaining a few things, telling her that I saw her, asking for forgiveness because I knew I wasn't good for her, telling her that she was free and that she needs to continue with her life on her own. Finally I tell her that I was not coming home after camp, because that same night I will return to our, her place to take all my things and get them out of there and sending some things to Madrid.
I packed all my things and when I was ready I got to the conference room to talk again with Jorge and after that, returning to Alexia place. Not our place, her place. I needed to get use to that idea.
- Jenni? Where are you going? -. I heard Mapi ask.
- I'm heading home Mapi, I'm injured -. I tried to lie about it, but c'mon, Mapi knows me like her own hand.
- Jenni, just tell me what are you really doing-.
- I'm done Mapi, I'm heading to her place and after that I'm going to France, I signed with PSG. In a few days they will do the announcement. I'm done with Ale... I can't... she is with someone else Mapi, I saw her today and I was going to tell her.. now I can't tell her Mapi is a very bad time-. By this time I was crying again wrapped in Mapi arms. I couldn't contain myself, not anymore. I broke down right there.
-Shh Jenni, breathe, c'mon you need to breathe. Shh.. try and match my rhythm, match my breath , come on.. Tell her what Jenni? -. I slowly got my breathing back to normal and put one hand on my little bump...After that Mapi stayed with me until my taxi arrived.
- Don't tell her anything, just that Jorge sent me back home due to an injury. And give her this letter the last day of camp, by that day, I will be already in France. Not that she will care, but please she needs to read it-.
- I will do my best Jenni, take care of both of you and please, let me know if you need something, we are family, don't shut me out. Anything you need just call me -. She told me with her hands on my face reaching for eye contact because it was the only way she could be sure that I was going to keep my promise of getting in contact with her. - You know I will Leon, just give me a few days, and I.. I will try my best Mapi, see you around my friend-.
We said our goodbyes, and I took the car to the airport, not looking back and my face full of tears and still with my hand in my belly. - Just you and me peanut, just you and me this time-.

My beautiful queen, I'm writing this with tears running for my cheeks, we both know that this is a goodbye. We knew it a few months ago, I knew a few months ago that I needed to do something about it, but i didn't, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything.
This is for you, supposedly I was going to give you this ring in person and in one knee. I was going to ask you and then change my last name. Now, I'm giving it to you in the box and with a letter saying goodbye, you are free Ale. I saw.. I saw you today Alexia, and you can't imagine how much it hurts, see the person you love, yes I still do, laughing, smiling and kissing someone else. That should be me Ale, that should be us, now is too late. We did decisions and things, and now is late.
I'm leaving camp and Spain, and by the time you come back to the apartment my things won't be there and me neither.
Hope you are happy with her, I hope that she make you more happy than I did. Make your days so much better. Love you more than me, but for above all else, support you more than I did.
You have my heart Alex. It's yours. I don't want it back. Because that will hurt more than that kiss I saw. I promise to you love you and support you even with the distance. This time the ball is in your half. Ask for me to stay and I will, just ask me to stay because i don't want to go without you.
Mi amor, I don't know how to continue this... I can't do it without you by my side, but I know I have to let you go. We will be fine.
Take care of Nala, and take care of yourself. I will take care of us.
Goodbye my queen.

All my love
Jenni

Who is cutting onions??? My eyes..
yes.. I wrote this crying people!
Anyway.. I needed to put some feelings out, and this "short one" came. Btw.. I love Alexia like a lot, i don't know why i put her as the bad one. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I will see where this one goes and maybe do part 2? ..