46 No Joy Left

Back in the dragon realm, Leng Jin Yu quietly held Jinde. He felt like there was nothing he could do. No matter what he said right now, it wouldn't be able to lessen the pain his husband felt. Thus, he could only hold him gently, trying to show him that he at least wasn't all alone.

Jinde held onto him, his nails digging into the fabric of Leng Jin Yu's robe. He felt like he was drowning and all that kept him from completely going under was his husband's presence.

He had gone through so much to finally have Jin Ling. When he had to exile him, it had broken his heart. But he had at least known that his child was still out there somewhere, able to live his life and maybe find some happiness far away from him. Now though ...

He lowered his head, burying his face deeper in Leng Jin Yu's embrace. He didn't even want to think about it. But even if he pretended that all was well, it wouldn't change it. Jin Ling ... his Jin Ling, he was gone.

His tears quietly rolled down his cheeks, wetting the fabric of his husband's robe. He knew that Leng Jin Yu probably had a lot of questions. He knew he should explain. But he couldn't. At this moment, he could do nothing but cling to him, hoping that all of this would only be a nightmare and that he would wake up soon to find out that nothing had actually happened.

Leng Jin Yu closed his eyes and gently rubbed Jinde's back. He still didn't say anything, only relying on the familiar touch to hopefully give him some warmth.

Jinde closed his eyes as well, pulling his husband closer and crying silently. The time seemed to pass slowly, reminding him all too much of the time back then when Chun Yin had left but he hadn't had Jin Ling yet.

At that time, he had felt alone and desolate as if there was nothing left in the world that could bring him joy. He went through every day completing his tasks but that was all. He couldn't muster any happiness or even a sense of accomplishment. He only felt empty.

Right now, it was the same. He knew there was Leng Jin Yu at his side but knowing that Jin Ling would never return ... it overshadowed even the joy of having been reunited with his husband.

Finally, Jinde fell asleep, the tears on his cheeks not yet dried.

Leng Jin Yu didn't notice at first but finally sighed faintly when he realized. He carefully got to his feet, picking Jinde up and carrying him over to the bed. Putting him down and looking at his face, his heart ached.

All this time, he had felt that he was doing a good job as his husband. He might not be perfect but he was better than in his past life. He listened to him and cherished him and whatever problems occurred, they could solve them together. But at this moment, the certainty that they were able to do that suddenly began to totter.

He hadn't known about this and while he was able to accept it, he didn't know how to deal with it. Anyway, if it had been Qiu Ling ...

He shook his head at himself, not wanting to think about that. His bond with Qiu Ling had likely never been as strong as Jinde's bond with Jin Ling was, not even when he was still Chun Yin. Now, he had already reincarnated and while they had reconnected and called each other family, he didn't necessarily feel like Qiu Ling's father. So how could he compare?

He straightened up and turned to look at the body on the ground. Hesitating for a moment, he finally went over. There was still blood on Jin Ling's robe and some of it had gotten onto the copper-colored hair, his face was clean though, the stunning features still prominent even in death.

Leng Jin Yu knelt down next to him and reached out. He hesitated again but finally moved his fingertips, using his spiritual energy to clean the blood on the robe. Unfortunately, he couldn't close up the wound where the weapon had pierced his body but this would have to do for now. Anyway, he himself hadn't known Jin Ling. So it seemed wrong to do too much.

He thought for a while and looked back over his shoulder. Jinde was asleep but his golden brows were tightly furrowed. Clearly, he wasn't getting much rest. Leng Jin Yu sighed quietly and got to his feet, tiptoeing to the door to the courtyard.

As soon as he stepped out, Xiang Yu looked up and got to his feet. He didn't dare to rush over though, afraid that something might happen to the shell if he moved even a single step.

Leng Jin Yu smiled faintly and went over, lowering his voice so they wouldn't disturb Jinde. "Jinde fell asleep. I've been thinking ... we can't leave the two of them like this. Could you ... could you get me two jade coffins from somewhere?"

The dragons didn't have a habit of burying their people. Many of them would revert to their dragon form which was too big to be placed in a coffin. Thus, the cemetery of the dragons was nothing but a field where dragons went to die, their bodies left to the wind and rain until only bones were left.

Getting a jade coffin in the dragon realm wasn't impossible but it wasn't easy either. Rather than running around to ask for one directly after a battle, he'd prefer getting one from the mortal realm or the Nine Heavens or wherever else was convenient. Either way, he didn't want to leave Jin Ling and Zhong Jin Yi outside like this. It simply didn't seem right.

Xiang Yu nodded but looked at the shell next to him. "That what about them?"

"I'll stay here. Anyway, you probably won't need much time, right?"

Xiang Yu nodded again and immediately opened a portal, leaving the courtyard behind.


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