"juyeon." jaehyun started saying, turning his face and his attention to the younger, situated on the bed trying to relax after having a panic attack for a chemistry assignment undone.

it usually took him a good half an hour to calm down, but with the hologram by his side it was easier.

"mh?" he said, slowly and trying to recompose himself as he was lying with eyes almost closed and a light breath

"what if you have enough... a day?" jaehyun asked not trying to go straight to the point

"what do you mean?" the other boy asked, not facing the jaehyun as he was feeling weak; weak under his gaze.

"i don't want to lose you, because like that i would have failed my job." he started saying and took a deep breath

"no, i don't give a thing about my job truthly, you know how many bots and hologram there are in the world? i just want you to be happy ju." he confessed to him, turning his face again

after some minutes of silence juyeon found the strength to speak "i will get through this hyung," he answered underneath voice "i've been way more worst than this, i will survive."

"because i have you by my side." juyeon weakly smiled, closing his eyes, it was a good sight to be honest, his hair were also covered and all messy because of the sweat, everyone would fall in love with him
"what can i do to help you?" the hologram asked, feeling somehow guilty

"just stay by my side and i will be happy."

jaehyun unconsciously smiled at those words "let's kill the time, should we?" he then proposed with a cheerful voice
"tell me about your life." the younger said, he always wanted to know more about his hyung

"well, as you can see," jaehyun made himself more comfortable on the bed

"i didn't live long, about four months from now? i was projected to be a save place to all the bullshit teenagers or people in general have to go through, i'm a hologram since two weeks and it feels nice! this new update is literally the life, i'm pretty sure chanhee would have loved it." he said with a shade of nostalgia in his voice, the name escaped those invisible lips as if it was forbidden

"who is chanhee?" juyeon asked as he has never heard that name, he knee hyunjoon, sunwoo and younghoon since jaehyun usually named them, but he never said chanhee once

"none of your business juju."
and yes, jaehyun was that type of person who prefer say bad and cold things always sounding so kind and lovely.
if he was alive, absolutely everyone would had a crush on him, he would be everyone's first love, perhaps.

"you keep a lot of secret to me hyung." juyeon declared with a firm voice and a sigh after "you know you can trust me."

"well, since boss had told us we can cross every rule except the first i guess i can tell you something more."

the younger smiled, all he wanted was to understand how the hologram was based on, even if he wasn't real, he felt more alive than juyeon sometimes
"he's just a long time friend who i lost."

"i'm sorry about that." juyeon suddenly remembered something that made him feel even sadder

"i actually lied to you," the younger started, since it was confession time why not going all down?

"i had two brothers, they were more little than me and also they were twins, doyoung and junkyu." he started feeling that maybe, if he told jaehyun, his pain will go away

"one day i was having a dance recital so i wanted them to come before and help me morally since i have a lot of anxiety inside me, but they never came." jaehyun face was now like the one pikachu meme

"i felt betrayed however i later found out that they were involved in an incident, doyoung, trying to cover junkyu who was fragile, died in the first place, meanwhile my other brother died two days after in the hospital." juyeon cried remembering all of those painful memories

"shh, it's okay baby, cry how much you want." jaehyun tried to reassure him but he should have known that his presence was enough to calm juyeon and make him feel safe
"it must have been hard to go through all of this alone, am i wrong?"

juyeon shook his head, signing that jaehyun wasn't wrong at all "but that's okay, because now everything is fine, your brothers are doing alright and i know it for sure. they're so proud of having a strong hyung like you." he cursed himself for not having the change to hug the younger

juyeon rested his head on the pillow, finally closing his eyes and his breath also became calm "it's a shame for those who don't have such a good hologram like you."

"don't leave me, alright?" the younger begged him "i won't, i already told you."

📼.

jaehyun is going to leave him a day or the other and he knew that

guess, it's not a normal for a hologram to almost not see anymore his hand right? like yes, it is usually light and clear but not that much.
he was honestly afraid of disappearing as his best friend did

"shit." he shouted, whining again on the couch, bit this time there was no youngoon to ask him questions so it was fine
"i should kill the time and not think about the fact that i might disappear anytime soon." jaehyun said, trying to find some humor in that but couldn't

"let me clean some storage." he opened his gallery where all of the memories are, like if he delete his first memories nothing would go wrong

he saw something that he didn't remember having, on those memories of his "chanhee's diary?" he asked at himself

"when did i read it?" he tried to think about it but nothing was popping out in his mind
"wait, let me see." he announced opening the unknown file

they were all pages filled with just some phrases, he knew chanhee well, he wasn't that type of person to write a lot on his diary since he had sunwoo and hyunjoon always around him, and also those female bots, he had never seen them but chanhee said they were nice.
so the younger just wrote something to remind himself what he was going through

DEAR DIARY

am i going to disappear?

i know boss projected us to only stay in the computer, but i can feel something strange... as if my own airy hand was clearer than before.

no one has to know it

especially jaehyun, i would just disappoint him as i did with sangyeon hyung.

now imma just write something sentimental, don't mind me

sunwoo, i love you even if you're a pain in the ass, you were like a little brother to me always remember to not break younghoon and hyunjoon's balls too much

hyunjoon, you're amazing, please remember this. i love you so much

younghoon hyung, you were like a parent to me, i'm so grateful to you

and the last but not least, jaehyun, you were like a brother where i could lean to whenever i wanted. i hope one day you will find someone as i did and don't worry, someday there will be one person to choose you.

i'm sorry to all of you, mostly to sangyeon hyung who create me, raised me and taught me, i'm sorry i didn't follow the rules.

but i'm willing to die if it's for him.

the thirst, the desire of being real is winning over me.

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗛𝗘𝗘

jaehyun could feel tears dropping from his eyes, now he knew what was going through his best friend, he knew the reason why he wasn't there with them, he knew why he did all of that and he was cursing at him for had left his family.

but somehow he felt what the younger was feeling.

and he agreed with him.

why?

because it's okay to die if it's juyeon.