Speaking Feelings (CH.19)

Shinobu's Pov

I was simply washing some plates with Y/N by my side. I was still pretty embarrassed by what almost happened in the room, but fortunately, he didn't really talk about that with me yet, which was a bit of a relief. Right now, I just wanted to finish cleaning the dishes, and go to my room to screech into my pillows. I was still really embarrassed.

Every now and then we would touch shoulders, and it seemed as we were equally embarrassed, since every time we touched, we would immediately separate. We almost made some things fall, but we were able to stop most of them, so it wasn't a problem, or at least, it wasn't, until a plate finally fell to the floor, and I had to clean it.

I just let out a sigh while kneeling down, but just as I was about to reach out for it, I bumped my head against something, and it hurt quite a bit. "Ughh." I groaned in pain, only to look up with a clearly angry face, only to see that it was Y/N, who had kneeled down as well. "What are you doing Y/N?" I also realized that I sounded a bit angrier than I should've, so as he replied to me, I took a moment to breath and calm down.

"Sorry, Kocho. I just thought I would pick it up for you." Honestly, it was hard to get annoyed by this, and instead I got a bit embarrassed, which was annoying, in an ironic way I would say.

I was about to get angry again, but I managed to calm down and say. "I-It's fine...I'll do it." He also seemed to be embarrassed, so he simply nodded and got back with the plates.

It didn't take me that much to clean off the plate, and once I was done with that, I got back to wash the dishes, and there was only just a few left, so I kept helping. This time, rather than being embarrassed, it was just uncomfortable. For my part, I wanted to be annoyed with him, but it was hard this time. The bump was angering, and his way of talking got on my nerves, which didn't help at all.

This time, I just wanted to ignore him until I managed to rearrange my thoughts, but he at least wanted to get things a bit settled, so he asked. "Umm...You know...about what happened earlier..." He vaguely said, so, without turning to look at him, I asked.

"What is it?" Somehow managing to hide my fear and nervousness towards this conversation.

He took quite some time to breath, think, and basically just arrange everything inside his head before asking. "Well...I just wanted to know if we were...alright? I don't know...I just want to know that I didn't step on any boundaries that might've made you uncomfortable." And honestly, this was so like him. If anyone was to apologize for something like this, then it was him.

As for me, I really didn't know. I didn't even give myself time to think if I was annoyed, excited, creped out, or what. I didn't answer him, and I really wasn't going to do, not right now, so, with a sigh, I said. "Honestly, I don't know. I'm not even sure about what we did back there, and I don't really want to talk about it right now." I was just hoping he wouldn't pry too much, but something told me he would.

I just waited for his reply, dreading what it would be. Certainly, I wouldn't hate him just for this, but I wasn't so sure about him, and that was something I didn't want at all. As annoying as he might get, Y/N is someone fun to hang around with, and even if it was just as friendship, I wanted to keep it up for a while more.

My best bet was to hope that he would just let it be and we could talk it later calmly, and fortunately, he did. "A-Alright, I'll wait. I don't want to push you into anything. I just want to know that we are fine. Honestly, I wouldn't like to stop being friends with you." And then flashed his goofy smile, which, for some reason, I was glad to see.

I let out a relieved sigh, and then said. "Don't worry. I don't think I'm mad. Just confused. I just need to gather my thoughts. Thanks for understanding." I then got up to him, and left a peck on his cheek, and immediately after realized what I just did.

Despite just how embarrassed I got by this, I managed to hide my blush, and with a pretty calm face, and walked out of there while saying. "I-I'm going to check on the girls." But as soon as I got away from him, I kneeled down in embarrassment, and drowned a pretty loud screech with my hands, as I felt my face get way hotter with my blush.

'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!' I screamed to myself in my head, and honestly, this was so impactful, that I almost entirely forgot about what happened in my room. And once it got back to me, it wasn't even that big of a deal anymore, because this was just way more embarrassing.

'...It seems like I can't help when I'm around him...'

Y/N's Pov

Just right after Kocho's kiss to my cheek, it was like if I had rebooted instantly. My mind went blank for quite some time, until I finally got a hold of myself and processed what happened, but even then, I couldn't figure out what it meant.

Quite frankly, I didn't dislike it one bit. It made me quite happy, but also made my relationship with her more confusing. On one hand, maybe she just did it out of reflex, or as something she used to do with her sister. Seemed quite possible to me. But in the other, we had already almost kissed, so maybe this meant that she really liked me, and that what happened earlier wasn't just out of spurt, or maybe it was, and I just can't figure it out. I was the most confused I ever felt.

We were almost done with the dishes, so almost as if it was a way to escape from my own feelings, I quickly continued working on them. However, it wasn't as effective as I wanted it to be, since almost instantly I went into autopilot, and did everything without even thinking, giving myself time to remember everything that happened in the span of half an hour. Pretty wild if you ask me.

As much as I tried to wrap my mind around this, I just couldn't, and by the time I finished washing, I was just as confused as when I started. Maybe even more.

Now I think I understood why Kocho didn't want to talk about it yet, and for some reason, I wanted to be alone for a while. With this in mind, I picked what little less there was from breakfast, and then went right to my room, where I instantly flopped into my bed.

I really didn't do anything. It took me quite a while to even turn around to look up at the ceiling, and I just dived deep in thought. 'Ok, calm down, Y/N. It's not like she has ever shown real interest in you. This was just a slip. It can't mean anything...But we did almost kiss before as well. And given her personality, it's weird that she hasn't called out on me yet...Maybe it was just her change of attitude. She's an entirely different person from the one I met two years ago. She just became more friendly, and we are already friends. She even said so herself. Yeah, that's it. Friends...But back then it would be a bit hard to call us friends. It was more like acquaintances. Something changed between us...Unrelated, but she looks really nice. The years have done her justice...Absolutely. She looks stun-' I mentally slapped myself at that last part, and got up from bed. "Okay, enough alone time already. It's getting on my nerves." And then went to see if there was something else to do around the house.

I helped both Kanao and Aoi with their chores. Hanging clothes and dusting of some furniture. Now that I remember, I think I actually helped out Kanao the most, while Kocho helped Aoi. Sometimes we would run into each other, since we would have to do something in the same room, but while the girls just did their thing, but of us almost entirely ignored the other in the most uncomfortable way possible, and even if we slightly grazed each other, we would back away intensely, apologize loudly, and tried to act as if nothing happened.

This made it very clear for Aoi that something was wrong, and as soon as we parted ways, I could already hear her asking questions to Kocho. This made me laugh a bit, since it sounded like an interrogation, but just as soon as I turned to look at Kanao, and more precisely the gaze on her eyes, I could only think one thing. 'Oh, no.'

We just started doing out work, each one by their side, but every time I turned to look at Kanao, she was staring back at me, with that same soul looking gaze. At first I managed to shrug it off, but after minutes of turning and seeing her look at me that way, well, it just proved too much for me. "Is something the matter, Kanao?" I asked, to which she shook her head. This made me believe that this would be it, but she just kept gazing at me in pretty much the same way as before.

I tried to ignore it as best as I could, but I just couldn't get it off my head, and soon enough, I just had to insist. "Did something happen? You can tell me." She seemed to take a moment to think, but even after that, she shook her head again, and instead, pointed at me. "What? Did I do something wrong?" She didn't reply anything, but her continuous staring just kept me wondering what she wanted. "You want to ask me about what happened?" She didn't even nod, but I already knew that's what she wanted.

It took me a while, but I managed to process everything that went through my mouth, and in the end, said. "I-I assure you that nothing happened...We were just...avoiding any accidents. We already bumped hard into each other in the kitchen. We just didn't want to repeat that accident." I was pretty satisfied with my answer, but by looking at her, I realized that she didn't look as much as me.

I just ignored that fact, and went on with my work, but even without looking at her, I could feel her gaze just drilling into my back. I did my best to avoid thinking of it, but without my entire consent from myself, I ended up saying. "I-I mean, s-sure she's n-nice to hang around, b-but that doesn't mean that I have feelings for her or a-anything...I-It's p-platonic you k-know? Y-Yeah...Platonic and t-that's it..." At this point, I even stopped working, and just focused on my respiration, since I felt my heart pumping at a thousand miles per hour.

I was barely managing to calm down, when Kanao walked to my side, and as she kept working constantly, she asked. "And are you satisfied with that?" I was pretty shocked by her suddenly speaking up, but more important than that, was her question, which really sent me down a spiral of thinking.

Inside my head, I kept and kept telling myself that this was enough, that I didn't need anything else, but something deep, very very deep within me, kept telling me that it wasn't, that I wanted more, but I shut it off. "But of course it is. Talking with her is more than enough. Her smile keeps popping in my head, and even if it isn't anything really special towards me, I still like it. I also remember her antics from two years ago. She was very fun, fussing about anything. Though, even in that situation, I would do anything I could to make her smile, so maybe I like both sides, since I also like to mess with her a bit, just to see if I get her to act like before. That must be messed up, isn't it?" Looking at her, she didn't seem to believe that there was nothing else I wanted, and she even pointed it out.

"I think you like her." She simply said, and then walked out of the room, probably to clean another one.

"K-Kanao!" I lightly exclaimed. "Y-You've got it all wrong! Sure, her smile is pretty, and her antics are cute, but it's not I would need to see them all the time. Seeing it once already brightens my day. I don't need to keep it brightening my days...making me feel better about myself..." I realized that I started daydreaming, and she was probably going to take this th wrong way. "Not like I think about her that way!" This time, her look was just way more hesitant about me, and it was clear as day that she didn't believe me, but just shrugged it off and kept working.

I tried to do the same as her, but I still felt uneasy. No longer about Kanao though, but rather myself. I had already internalized those thoughts, and decided to believe them entirely, but saying them out loud, made me question my entire self. It seemed as Kanao's approach was very effective on me.

I'm not even sure if she kept looking at me, or if she was still wondering what I thought about Kocho, but whatever it was, something made me crumble and keep talking. "Well, quite honestly I wouldn't mind being with her. I'm still pretty irresponsible with my routine, and she would surely be able to help me with that, and in return I would help her around, mostly doing as she asks and following her. Maybe she would cook something while I serve as taste tester and vegie chopper, then we would sit down to eat, and even if it isn't my real objective, my own being talking would probably get her annoyed, which would make me laugh a bit...It does sound nice."

I wasn't even really sure where I was going with all of this, but as I realized that we were done with this room, I turned to look at Kanao and said. "How did you get so much out of me while barely talking?" She stared at me for a minute or two, before finally shrugging her shoulders and instructing me to the next room.

As we went on cleaning, I kept talking with Kanao. Mostly about other topics rather than Kocho, but still bringing her up every once in a while. She almost never said anything back, but through her expressions I knew she was listening carefully to everything I had to talk about, and she did ask a couple things every now and then.

As we went on, we ended up encountering Kocho and Aoi again. By looking at both girls, it was clear that they were very expectant as to what we were going to do, but I couldn't pay too much attention to them.

I mostly focused on Kocho, and weirdly enough, I wasn't as nervous as before. Sure, I was still embarrassed and didn't really want to face my feelings with her yet, but it was way more manageable than before. At some point, we touched shoulders yet again, but this time we didn't break immediately.

The two of us looked at each other, and after delivering an awkward smile to the other, we tried to act as if nothing happened, but truth be told, being that way with her felt nice, and I think it was for her as well, since she didn't separate from me as well until we absolutely had to do so.

As we parted ways again, Kanao looked at me with more interest than before, but this time I did manage to shrug it off and pretend to just do my work around while still talking to her about other things. Though, inside my head, I just kept playing that moment back and forth.

It took us quite a while, but soon enough, we were done with all the cleaning, and it was my time to go. "Do you really have to go?" Asked a mildly sad Aoi, as I was standing in the doorstep, prepared to leave.

I kneeled down to pat her head, and said. "Sorry, I do. But I promise that'll come visit more often. Trust me." She seemed satisfied by this, while Kanao approached as well, and took my other hand to pat her head as well. This made me chuckle a bit, and as I patted hers as well, I said. "Now, you two be good girls, alright?" They both nodded, and then went for a hug. It was surprising, but nice none the less.

We kept the hug for a minute or two, but I had to get going, so I patted their backs as a sign to stop, and they obeyed. "You sure you don't want to stay to eat?" Asked Kocho, who had returned to her new normal demeanor, as if nothing had happened.

It was nice to see her this way, and her offer was really tempting, but I didn't want to worry Master anymore. "No, but thanks. I'll come back soon to eat though." I replied to her, while also flashing a smile.

She nodded at this, and I kind off felt the urge to hug her, but I wasn't really sure if it would've been alright, so I instead simply bowed down, and started walking away. There wasn't any hurry yet, so I walked at a pretty slow pace, only to enjoy myself and look at the environment, but just a few feet away from the doorstep, I could hear Kocho calling. "Y/N! Wait!" She lightly exclaimed, so I turned to look around, and was shocked to receive a hug from her.


"Be safe out there."


Chapter's End

Taisho Era Rumors


Even though Aoi shows way more enthusiasm, Kanao is actually more invested in Y/N's and Shinobu's relationship. If it wasn't for her upbringing that makes it hard for her to convey her emotions, she would be all over Kocho, asking questions about Y/N and why she hasn't made a move on him, and would do pretty much the same with Y/N.


Alright, I'm done with another chapter, and I honestly like how it's going right now, and I hope you do as well. But we are done with heart warming moments for the time being. Next chapter won't be as wholesome as this one that I can tell, so look forward to it.

Anyhow, as always, leave any feedback you have on my writing. I always look forward to improving my writing as much as I can, or if you have any other silly thoughts or comments in general for my book, I encourage you to leave them in the comments section. It's always a delight to read them-

That would be it for this week, and I hope I get to see you next week in my other book, SET YOUR HEART ABLAZE!!!

Comment