!!TW!! - mention of anxiety, abuse, pills

Time skip to next Monday

RILEY'S POV

My alarm blares in my ears as I open my eyes realising I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. I go to snooze my alarm, giving myself an extra 10 minutes of sleep as it is only 6:15am. Then I realise that I don't have time to sleep because I'm getting picked up at 7 to go to London! God how could I be so stupid to almost forget.

I stand up off of my mattress that sits in the corner of my tiny room on the floor. I walk over to my suitcase to pack a few last minute things. Including a polaroid photo of me and Esme at training which I carry around with me as a memory. I quickly shove a few more Nike undershirts to wear under my jersey, better to be safe than sorry. I don't want any of the girls to see my arms. I knew that I was going to get supplied with a whole suitcase filled with England clothes so I didn't have to pack that much.

I look over to my window seal and see an array of pill bottles. I swiftly grabbed all of them and shovelled them in the front of my suitcase along with my sleeping pills and eye drops. I know I probably won't take my meds but it won't hurt to bring them just in case of an emergency as Esme would be so mad if she found that I didn't bring them.

I didn't want to risk making my way to the bathroom in case of waking up my mum so I pulled out my concealer from under my mattress which is where I hide it from my mum along with a bunch of other items.

Over the past week I've had some brutal beatings leaving me with even more marks and bruises around my body luckily only the ones on my face are visible. My self harm has not improved much either after having another episode last night, remembering to change my bandages before I leave.

I apply concealer to my face, blending it out until you can no longer see them. The large cut on my back was slowly healing but still being very visible on my face.

I changed into some black Nike joggers along with my Sunderland academy jumper. I put the hood on stopping from anyone being able to see the bruises scattered along my neck.

Grabbing my toiletries bag that I had packed last night checking that I had everything packed. I lift my mattress up, grabbing a few fresh blades and putting them in just in case I need them along with my concealer. I wouldn't need my concealer for long as these bruises would fade but just for the first few days.

I reach for my phone looking at the time seeing that it's 6:55am, the driver should be here any minute. I quickly put my phone charger in and zip up my suitcase. I carefully make my way down the stairs carrying my suitcase to avoid making any noise than could wake up my mother.

Walking past the kitchen I quickly grab a protein bar and start eating it before I see the driver pull up outside my house. I finish eating my protein bar and grab my suitcase dragging it behind me leaving this hell of a place I call home for the last time. I had already grabbed my boots and shin guards out of the bushes last night when my mum had fallen asleep so I didn't have to do it this morning.

I made my way to the car and placed my suitcase in the trunk before getting into the back of the car greeting the driver. He introduced himself and we made small talk as we started our journey before I decided to put my headphones in and listen to music for the rest of the way.

The 5 and a half hour journey went surprisingly fast because before I knew it I saw the St. Georges park sign. This is where I could feel my anxiety begin to rise in me. What have I gotten myself into? There was no turning back now.

My leg begins to jitter and I find my hand up near my mouth as I begin to bite my nails. I feel the car come to a stop and I look outside to see us parked outside of a huge training centre. This had to be at least triple the size of my Sunderland academy training centre.

I thank my driver stepping out of the car, retrieving my suitcase from the trunk. I walk towards the entrance to the huge building keeping my eyes locked onto the ground in case I encounter any other players. I enter the building looking around taking everything in.

"Great to see you again Rylan" Sarina says, walking in my direction. I can't believe this is where I am going to be staying for the next week, not to mention that I will be here with my football idols.

"Good to see you as well" I reply, trying to be polite. I want to make a good impression and make sure that Sarina doesn't regret her decision to sign me.

"Follow me into my office" I heard Sarina say and I nod my head in agreement.

I keep my hood up and my eyes fixated on my shoes as I follow Sarina to her office, passing a few players on the way, not looking up to see who they are. Sarina steps into a room which I guess is her office. I followed her in leaving my suitcase near the door and taking a seat.

Sarina gives me a full run through of camp and our upcoming games.

"Congratulations Rylan you are now a lioness" Sarina reaches out her hand to shake mine. I wipe the sweat off my hands and put my hand out. We shake hands and my nerves start to calm down.

"Thank you so much Sarina, this means a lot to me, I'm so thankful for this opportunity" I comment. I was excited to see where this was going to take me but at the same time my nerves and anxiety were out of control.

"You are more than welcome, I think that you'll fit in perfectly. All the girls are lovely. Now I understand that you're still in school" I nod my head agreeing to her statement.

"Right well while you're here for the next week you don't have to worry about school but once you're back in London you will be enrolled into a proper school" Sarina adds on.

I roll my eyes and silently groan. I fucking hate school. I nod my head acknowledging what Sarina has just said. I was not in the mood to speak at this point.

"I would also like to let you know that while you're here at camp you will be in a room with Leah the captain and once you arrive back in London with us Leah has been kind enough to let you stay in her apartment as you're only 16."

Great. I'm rooming with the captain and will also be living with her?! I thought I would be able to live with Esme. That would've been better. I'm starting to dislike the idea of this whole being a professional footballer thing.

"Yeah that's fine, Thanks Sarina" I reply. I no longer wanted to be in this office any longer.

"With that all being done, why don't I take you to meet the rest of the girls? They should all be here by now." Sarina states. My eyes widen at the thought of meeting 28 new people at once. But I didn't really have a choice here, did I?

"Yeah, yeah that would be great" I mutter. This was going to be one long week.

Sarina stands up pushing her chair while walking up behind me placing her hands on my shoulders making me flinch. I reminded myself that there's nothing to be scared of anymore as I'm over 5 hours away from my mother. She guides me out of her office and through the long corridors. I was definitely going to get lost around here.

"Don't worry, I'm sure some of the girls will be willing to give you a tour a bit later," Sarina says as if she could read my mind.

"Yeah thanks" I nod my head.

Soon I find myself being led into a large room with the whole team standing around chatting to each other. It was extremely loud. Nobody had seemed to notice me and Sarina standing in the entrance way. Sarina clears her throat, catching everybody's attention.

Before I knew it I had 28 pairs of eyes on me. I stare down at the ground, slightly shuffling uncomfortably on the spot.

Sarina speaks up. "Right everyone meet our new signing Rylan she will be joining us on this camp and will also be joining us back down in England. Everyone please make her feel welcome"

There was silence, nobody spoke. Until suddenly..

"Riley!?" I hear a sweet voice question which I straight away recognize as Esme's. I snap my head up to see Esme making her way towards me. I looked around, recognising a lot of the other players who were all standing there in confusion.

I was engulfed into a tight hug which I knew was Esme. I knew what her hugs felt like and if I'm going to be honest I missed them. I was so happy to see Esme again as I haven't seen her in almost 2 years.

"Riles, you're our new signing? Why didn't you tell me" Esme's voice cracking at the end of her sentence.

I lift my head up off her chest looking up at her lips, refusing eye contact. I just shrug my shoulders. I actually don't know why I didn't tell her. I see tears running down her face.

"You haven't been answering any of my messages over the past week, I've been worried sick. Is everything ok at ho-" Esme couldn't finish her sentence before I felt a hand on my face.

"Oh my gosh Ry! What the hell happened to your face" Esme says as worry laces her voice. She pulls me close into her chest.

I push Esme away, getting mad. I don't want her pity or concern. I take a quick glance around, seeing everyone even more confused, even Sarina.

"I'm fine Es it was just a little accident that happened, I'm fine. Just leave it" I reply bluntly. Great, what an amazing first impression. I already hate this.

Esme's already worried about me and I have only been here for less than an hour. This is going to be one long week. I can't let Esme find out anything more. I came here for football not to be pitied by everyone.

"Alright Esme let the poor girl go and let her introduce herself" I hear one of my many new teammates yell.

Esme taps me on my back signalling for me to say something.

"U-uhm my name is R-Rylan. I'm 16 years old and I-I'm from Sunderland" I stutter over my words glancing up from the ground a few times.

"She prefers to go by Riley instead of Rylan by the way" Esme announces to everyone. I turn around and glare at her annoyed.

"You're only 16!!" I hear someone else yell out. I slightly nod my head. Great, I knew I didn't deserve to be here.

"Calm down kid they're not judging you they're just shocked" Esme whispers in my ear. I nod my head acknowledging what she had said.

Over the few years that I've known Esme she's become extremely good at reading how I'm feeling. I need to work on being more secretive.

"No way that's impressive!" I hear the same person add on followed by other people agreeing with what they said. I shuffle around on the spot uncomfortable as I'm not used to this much attention.

"Alright girls that enough for now, you can all go upstairs and start unpacking. By now you should all know who you're rooming with and what number your room is. There is a meeting in an hour, don't be late. See you all then" Sarina announces to everyone before leaving the room.

Me and Esme wait for everybody else to leave before she walks me up to my room to which I am sharing with the captain. I scan my key card letting me into my room seeing that Leah was already in the room unpacking her suitcase. She turns around to look at me and Esme

"Oh hey Esme" Leah says, walking over to the door to greet us.

"Hey Leah just brought Riley up to her room so she can get to unpacking, I'm gonna leave now Riles I'm only just down the hall if you need me" Esme replied. Why would I need her? I'm not a baby.

"I'll be fine Es" I grumble before walking in dragging my suitcase behind me. With that Esme leaves to go to her own room.

"Hey its Riley right? Well I'm Leah and as you probably already know that you'll be coming to live with me when we get back to London. I'm looking forward to getting to know you a bit more and from what I've heard apparently you're a gun at football" Leah says starting a conversation. Which for your information I am not in the mood to be having.

"Yeah it's Riley, it's nice to meet you and I'm looking forward to getting to know you as well. I'm excited to be here but I'm super grateful for this opportunity" I reply as I unzip the England suitcase that is filled with all of my clothes they provide which was in my room waiting for me.

"Everyone here is lovely and I'm sure that they'll all love you. I just want to let you know that I'm here if you need anything over the next week. I know that the first time on camps can be nerve wracking but I'll be here for you every step of the way." Leah assured me. I already know that I will not be going to anyone for help.

Me and Leah made small talk while unpacking our suitcases. I kept noticing her glancing at me every now and then and knew she wanted to ask about my cut but she didn't which I was thankful for. I had finished unpacking my suitcase and putting it in the corner of the room next to Leah's. By the time we had finished it was time for us to make our way down to the meeting room.

A/N

I was going to make a chapter about the whole day but I went into too much detail with this chapter that I had to split it into 2 chapters. Hope you guys are enjoying so far