CHAPTER 2


“SHAKILA, TORBRIANNA, TISKTISK MAN, KORBNOFF, URGENT MEETING IN THE FAT MEETING ROOM.” I call boomingly to my servants and wait for them impatiently. I stifle a laugh as they hobble goofily around the corner. They glare down at me, their eyes filled with emptiness awaiting my every command. We gather around the triangular meeting table, and I clear my throat out of habit. I think thoughtfully, then realize that I have absolutely no frickitty fracking idea how to do research because I always make my servants do it for me. So that’s what I shall do.


“My friends, ten minutes ago, I had a glimpse of the love of my life, and I knew, at that moment, that I shall find her. You four shall commence a search party. You will not rest until my princess is found!” I sit there wondering where my future waifu resides, probably waiting for her prince charming to rescue her. But how am I supposed to do that when I have no dingly dangle idea where she could be! I slam my fist melodramatically on the table and stand histrionically, my hand over my face in an extremely emotional manner. I shove my chair out of the way, and head off to bed, where I cry myself to sleep.