'We took the wrong girl.'

'WHAT?!'
'WHAT?!!'

'Yeah, I - I have no idea who this is.' He pointed at me

The two guys screamed at him, both smacking him at the same time over the head.

'How. The fuck. Did you. Manage. That?!' The blonde guy chased him around the room, kicking him in the ass between each word while he ran in a circle, covering it

'So you're telling me that we just kidnapped someone?' The brown haired one asks, making the other two freeze

The obvious dread washed over them, and they both looked at me. They look more scared than me.

'Oh my god. We are going to jail!' The man child crouched and covered his head, hanging it between his knees

'You truly are beyond retarded!' The blonde guy kicked him in the butt again, making him fall forward on his knees. 'How do you fuck up THIS BAD?!'

'It was too dark! I thought it was her!!' His eyes opened wide and they reminded me of a baby deer. He's so childlike.

They started yet another fight, but this time panicking about how they would spend their lives in prison.

I took a moment while they were arguing to take a look around, and only now noticed that we were in some sort of basement, but it wasn't an old, fallen apart one.

The place was fairly okay. No wet corners and stale smell. The lighting was a bit crap, almost yellow, but what can you expect from a basement. It does seem like some sort of room they made for fun at it has a sofa in the corner and a pool table that looks a bit old. The walls are some kind of white brick contrasting the darker wooden ground.

'... kill.'

The word "kill" pulled me back to them, but I quickly realised they weren't talking about me. They were talking about killing the young guy because he's so stupid, while he kept putting his arms up and telling them to come at him if they are so sure they can take him on.

'Oi, Dumb, Dumber and the Dumbest.' All three of them turned to me in an instant, shocked all over again. 'Can you let me go if you don't need me?'

'What's - what's your name?' The Blondie asks

I sighed deeply, but decided to answer. 'Shinae Moon. Yours?'

'Don't tell her!'

'Listen up. Brownie, Blondie, and Bambi. Whether I know your names or not won't change a thing. You already kidnapped me.'

'Yeah but if we don't tell you, you can't report us.' Bambi crossed his arms to look all tough, but he's as nervous as he could get

'I can just bring the police here.'

'That's - a good point.' He clicked his tongue in annoyance while the Blondie was giving him the bombastic sideeye. 'Well you - you can't report us if we don't let you go! Huh! How about that?' He got all brave, placing his hands on his hips, arguing like he's a little, sassy girl

I got up from my chair and threw the bag on the floor, and all three of them took a step back, with the Bambi boy pushing the Brownie at the front of him, hiding behind him. It's like I kidnapped them.

'Then are you going to keep me here? Forever?' I raise my eyebrow, and three of them kept looking at each other, having no answer. 'That's what I thought.' I cross my arms on my chest. 'Now, if you could show me where the exit is, I'd much appreciate it.'

'Fuck it. I'll go turn myself in. I don't wanna go out on my fucking exam tomorrow anyway!'

'You're going to turn yourself in because you didn't study?' Brownie looks at him, bewildered by the seeping lunacy from the Bambi guy

'Obviously!' He yells, making Blondie rub his eyes at the stupidity

These three are so stupid that I honestly feel sorry for them. If I report them, they will die in that prison within a week. They can't even tie their shoelaces based on the rope they tied around my wrists.

'Thank you for this eventful evening, but I'm going to go. Goodnight.' I took a few steps towards the staircase, assuming that was the way out, but I didn't get far.

I got really dizzy and nearly collapsed, grabbing onto the first wall I could reach, but I still fell on my knees. How hard did I smack my head?

'Oh my god, she's going to die! We killed someone! I'm gonna get executed! I'm too young to die!' The Bambi guy started screeching, going through an entire existential crisis.

'She's not dying!'

While those two were arguing in the back, Blondie ran over and crouched next to me. 'Are you okay?'

I wanted so badly to snap at him, but his face was coloured with fear and worry. He was genuinely scared. It would be like scolding a child.

'No. My head hurts like a bitch.' I hiss, pressing the top right corner of my forehead, feeling a slight bump

'I'm sorry. We kind of dropped you.' He mumbled

'No shit, Sherlock.' I sigh. 'Just let me go home. I won't report any of you.'

'Huh? What?! Why not?' His eyes opened wide in shock

'Because you three are the three dumbest human beings I've ever met in my entire life. You would not survive prison.'

'I'm pretty sure there are dumber people than me...' he was mumbling to himself, scratching his chin like he's thinking about it

'Jimin, is she okay?'

Jimin. That's the blondie's name. Good to know one of my kidnappers.

'Aw, come on, man!' He whines at him, pouting his lips that I now notice are very plump. 'You really are as dumb as a rock.'

'Jimin, was it?' He gulped at me saying his name, but nodded lightly. 'I would much appreciate if you didn't yell in my ear. My head is about to explode.'

'So-sorry.' He mumbled. 'Do you... do you want some medicine? Or... water? Or a cold compress? Maybe chocolate?'

He was so confused, offering me the most random things, stumbling over his words in his nervous rant.

'Did he just offer her chocolate for smacking her head?' Brownie whispered to Bambi, and both of them started snickering

'What are you laughing for? I don't see you trying to help. And you are the one who dropped her. Dimwit.' He argued back, apparently hearing them loud and clear

'So now I'm sure about two things. You never kidnapped anyone before, and you sure as hell are not a doctor.'

'Yeah, well... You couldn't be more right.' He exhaled and hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck

'May I at least know why I got taken by three baboons like yourselves?'

Jimin and Brownie guy both looked at Bambi guy, who was looking anywhere but at us. He was humming lowly, looking around the room like he's checking it out.

'Long story. But the bottom line is that he apparently can't differentiate women.' Jimin answers

'I CAN DO!' Bambi argues. 'It's not my fault they look the same!'

'My bad. Must be why we took a random girl off the street and gave her a concussion.' Jimin squinted at Bambi, giving him the most sarcastic smile

'She has a concussion?!! SHE IS GOING TO BLEED TO DEATH INSIDE HER HEAD!!' There he goes. Panicking again.

'I'm not going to die! And I don't have a damn concussion!' I yelled at him, causing myself even worse headache. I can't believe that I'm calming down my kidnapper. 

'Okay. Taehyung, your keys. Now.' Jimin speaks to one of the guys

'And I'm  dumb?! You told her my name!'

Ahh, so the Brownie is Taehyung.

Jimin clicked his tongue in annoyance at him, 'Stop whining and pass me your keys. We need to get the girl home.'

Finally.

'You're letting her go?!' Both of them yelled at Jimin

'Would you prefer if we actually kidnapped her and made it 10 times worse??'

The other two kept looking at each other for a moment, then switched up in no time.

'Do you need help?'
'We can carry her to the car.'

'Please don't touch me!' I raise my hands as they took a step closer to me. 'Last time you carried me I got knocked out.'

'Cause you kept throwing yourself like a fish on a dry land.' Bambi argues

'I'm sorry. Was I supposed to calmly accept being taken?!'

'Yeah!'

'You are the worst criminals I've ever seen.'

'Okay, get her out of here! All she did so far was insult us and call us stupid.'

'Because you are! By the sounds of it, you managed to kidnap a wrong fucking person, and you couldn't even tie me down properly!'

'You want me to tie you down?! Fine! Give me the damn rope!' Taheyung got all whiny and was headed over to pick up the roped I dropped

'What in the hell are you doing?!' Jimin practically yelled at him when he decided to drag me back to the chair and sit me down

'Sit still.' He muttered and started wrapping up my wrists around the wooden armrest

I just sighed deeply and let him try, purely out of curiosity. I actually want to see how he managed to fuck this up the first time. If it was him.

'Tae! Let the woman go, what in the fuck?!' Jimin yelled at him, but I cut in

'Nah, let him. I want to see him embarrass himself once more.' 

'Is she- is she kidnapping herself?' Bambi muttered to Jimin who just shrugged in absolute confusion

'See?!' Taehyung guy got sassy, pointing at my wrist which was supposedly tied down, and then his entire face dropped when I slipped my hand out of the noose once more. 

'Jesus, you suck.' Even I laughed at him

'What?! But how-'

'Fuck sake.' I sigh. 'Grab that one.' I point to one end of the rope, grabbing the other one with my free hand. 'Now go here, and pull it through here.'

I actually had to explain to this baboon how to tie me up, and he followed it step by step like a puppy in training, nodding occasionally.

'Huh! Got it!' He grinned proudly, pointing at my hand to the other two

'You don't got shit, Tae. The woman tied herself down.' Bambi was laughing his ass off, while Jimin was giving him a judgemental sideye

'Now that you learned how to tie a rope, can I go?' 

'Ah, yes, yes.' At least he knew how to untie it. Idiot.

'Before you leave...' Jimin started talking, motioning for Taehyung to come over to him and Bambi. 'We are sorry.' 

He was the only one who apologized and bowed, but Taehyung followed suit, and muttered his apology as he bowed down, too.

And then they both smacked the Bambi guy once more, with Jimin grabbing his neck to pull his head down so he would bow. 

'Bow, Jungkook. This is your fault, you imbecile.' He hissed at him under his breath, sounding angry. So, Jungkook. That's the third one.

'I'm sorry, lady.' He finally muttered

Lady? Do I look that old?

'Can you three stand up?' 

They did as I asked, looking like three kids who are getting scolded in school. They were barely looking at me, crossing their hands in front of them, avoiding eye contact with me like I'm a Medusa.

'Can you do me a favour and never ever  try commiting a crime again? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am actually worried about you. You three share one singular braincell that seems to be short-circuiting.'

'That's just mean!' Jungkook whined and got kneed in the thigh by Taehyung this time, who also hissed at him to shut the fuck up

'We... We didn't really try to commit a crime. We tried to scare someone we know, is all.' Taehyung added 

'Well, hate to break it to you, but kidnapping even as a joke is a crime. A person who obtains and maintains another under the control of his or hers or a third person by means of the threat, use of force or other forms of coercion, or by means of fraud, deception or enticement for the purpose of engaging in an indecent act, sexual intercourse or marriage, or for gain shall be punished by imprisonment for at least one year up to ten years.'

3 pairs of wide open eyes were staring back at me in pure dread, looking more dead than alive. 

'What - what fucking book did you swallow?!' Jungkook almost screamed at me

'And what marriage are you talking about?! I don't want to marry you!' Taehyung yelled at me

'We weren't gonna touch you either! We want no sex from you!' Jimin joined in, panicking even more

My fucking god these guys are dumb. 'I can't even. I'm leaving. Bye.'

'Wait! I said I'd take you home.' Jimin stops me as I headed for the stairs once again

'I will take my chances and walk home. Thank you.' I smiled in the most sarcastic manner I could 

'What if someone actually attacks you? It's late!' 

'I'm sure they'll do better than you have. Goodbye.'

They just stood there, looking as lost as they could in their own home, and let me walk out in peace. Not that they had a choice.

The stairs lead up the the hallway of a little apartment which I did not take time to look at as I ran straight out. I couldn't believe that I actually wanted to go home, which I never do.

The stupidity of those kids actually drained me. I'm not even angry. I'm flabbergasted by the lack of inteligence. 

How useless can they be?