5 - Fleamont and Euphemia

James loves the Christmas holidays for three main reasons.

The first has been true since his childhood; the Potter household is just the place to be during the Christmas season. While the family are Purebloods, they are completely enamoured by Muggle traditions and cheesy decorations. Every year since James can remember, Fleamont would return home with something ridiculously colourful and equally outrageous.

Gifts are never serious – James is spoiled every other day of the year, he doesn't need a holiday to dictate when to give or get presents. So, instead, they buy each other stupid things – silly or ridiculous. Usually, a prank. After all, James gets his mischievous streak from Euphemia. He's never been able to pull a fast one on her, and he usually ends up with his face in pudding every time he tries.

The second reason began after he started to attend Hogwarts. The annual Christmas Marauder 'sleepover' came into existence and stubbornly refuses to leave.

It started as an idea from Peter. Every year from the 20th to the 27th, the other three Gryffindors roll up to his house in ridiculous pyjamas and various ideas of what havoc they can cause for the year ahead. Although, by third year, the Marauder sleepover turned more into academic work – much to Sirius' horror – and quietly whispering plans for the future that they didn't want to discuss in Hogwarts in fear it would feel too 'real'.

It started to change a little when Sirius and Regulus moved in. Even now, Regulus keeps to himself during that week (with the exception of two days where he's forced into the fray) but Sirius goes all out. He loves being a host and will be up all night with Monty decorating or whispering in a corner with Effie as a way to best decide how to prank the others. It's exhausting, but it makes Sirius happy. And it makes James happy, too.

It's nice for them to be able to act their age completely once a year in a world that makes them grow up too fast.

The third reason is simple: December 26th. Regulus' birthday.

Before Sirius and Regulus ran away, it was nearly impossible to celebrate Regulus' birthday. Sirius would try to sneak back in to Grimmauld Place the night after Christmas, only to be kicked out immediately by Regulus himself. Some yelling about betrayal, James could never hear much from his hiding space below the window.

'Hiding space'... Regulus always spotted him. As Sirius ran out of the house, swearing at Walburga and Orion just for good measure, Regulus would lean out of his window and look at him with a raised eyebrow. James would smile and wave and mouth happy birthday with a grin and Regulus would roll his eyes but smile nonetheless. It was the best he could give while he was still within the confines of that prison household.

This year, Regulus isn't stuck there. This year, Regulus lives with him. And this year, James and Sirius decide to put together a Christmas and Birthday party combined.

Now, Regulus is leaning against him in the middle of that gathering looking absolutely exhausted. He's nursing a Butterbeer in his hands, watching as the others are taking shots of Firewhiskey much to the horror of Euphemia who keeps trying to snatch the bottle off a rather speedy Barty.

"But Effie, we're of age!"

"I will contact your father, young man!"

"Noooo, he'll make me sit in on the Wizengamot!"

Other than the usual lot who gather at the Potters at Christmas, Sirius and James both decided it would be better to keep the list of invitees small. As such, only Emmeline, Evan and Barty were invited to join for Regulus' birthday. Regulus seemed a little uncomfortable with even that at the beginning of the night, but he settled down quickly when he realised how much everyone there adored him.

James is not an exception. The exact opposite, actually. He thinks he dotes on Regulus more than pretty much anyone here.

It's why he noticed when it all got a little too much for him and pulled him to the side. The grateful smile he got in return was worth it and now, people are giving them space for Regulus to bring himself back down. He seems content just sitting next to James watching their mismatched group of friends in the house James hopes he now calls a home. He also seems perfectly happy to snuggle up to his side. James has no complaints about that.

He keeps his arm secured around Regulus' waist, his eyes staying focused on him despite the festivities going on around them. It would be hard to focus even if Reg wasn't wrapped up in his arms. That's something James has noticed lately – that all of his attention goes to the younger Black the moment he so much as steps into a room. He's not really sure why, but he doesn't mind it. It's warm, really. And he likes seeing Regulus, it makes him happy.

After a while, Regulus seems to catch on to his staring and he glances away from where Sirius and Evan are currently battling over Exploding Snap to look up at him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," James says, "You just look peaceful, is all. I like you like this."

Regulus laughs, light and soft, "Is there any way you don't like me, Potter?"

"If there is, I haven't found it yet."

He gets a warm smile at that, a happy hum too and Regulus buries himself in his shoulder again. James presses a kiss to the top of his head and murmurs 'Happy Birthday' for what must be the seventeenth time that day. Just like every other time, Regulus just sighs.

Growing old must be such a hardship for him. Poor thing.

James hears a heavy sigh and looks up to see his mum collapsing on the floor in front of him, brandishing some sweets to hand to Regulus. He takes them with very little fuss but doesn't move himself from James' hold. Euphemia smiles between them, although she looks a little confused.

She reaches forward and takes Regulus' hand.

A few months ago, James thinks Regulus would have shaken her off; or maybe been terrified by affection from parental figures. Now, he just stiffens. But he doesn't move away so James counts it as a win.

"Don't you want to socialise, sweetheart?" she asks him gently, "Your friends are getting rowdy without you,"

James looks up to see that Barty has now draped himself over Evan's shoulder and is whispering something in his ear that is making the other boy turn red. Remus seems to be doing something vaguely similar to Sirius with a little less success. Emmeline and Peter are trying to – not so slyly – take the sickles that have been placed down between them in their moments of distraction.

He feels Regulus shake his head, "I'm happy here. Thank you, Mrs Potter."

"Effie,"

"Effie," Regulus corrects, and James can hear the smile in his voice, "I'm okay here, thank you. I like being with James."

James chuckles, "Is that the Firewhiskey talking, Reggie?"

Regulus tilts his head up to look at him, "I had two shots," he argues with a pout. He looks adorable. James wonders if he realises just how sweet he is – even if he tries to look like a grumpy asshole the rest of the time.

Euphemia gasps in shock and outrage. James can tell it's completely fake. "Not you, too! You're meant to be the good child!"

Reg looks at her again and shakes his head, "Blame Barty, he dared me."

"I believe you, dear. He's such a troublesome thing," Effie says indulgently, giving his hand a quick squeeze, "I'm happy you're comfortable. Perhaps James would like to mingle a little though, hm?"

He blinks at the statement and holds Regulus a little tighter to him, "No, mum. I'm fine. I wanna be here with him, too." he adds, because Effie looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "I talk to them enough at Hogwarts. They can deal without me for one night, I'm sure."

"You spend a lot of time with me at Hogwarts too," Regulus points out.

"Yeah, but you're different,"

"Mhm. You like me the best."

"Don't get a big head,"

Regulus huffs affectionately and James rests his head on top of his. He looks over to see his mum watching with a calculating expression.

After a few moments, her eyes widen and she smiles widely, "Ah," she says, reaching forward and taking both his and Regulus' hands in her own. James blinks down in surprise and Regulus stiffens again but to a lesser degree, "You know you two can tell me anything, right? I'll never judge."

That... is a weird statement to make.

"Um... yeah? We know, mum." James says slowly, frowning.

"And Monty and I will support you," Euphemia continues, squeezing his hand and, presumably, Regulus' too, "We love you. Both of you."

James knows this. He wonders if his mother has been at the Firewhiskey too and is providing a little drunken affection, "Uh – thanks?"

"Thanks, Effie," Regulus says too, except his sounds far more genuine. James isn't sure why Reg understands Euphemia more than he does.

She stands, sending them both a very warm grin before she leans down to whisper in his ear, "Look after him. He looks a little glassy." she pulls back to gesture towards her eyes and James just nods.

"Of course,"

His mum doesn't even need to tell him that. There's no where else he'd rather be and looking after Regulus feels like his responsibility alone. It's not once felt like a burden.

As the evening comes to a close, Regulus pulls James back in the direction of his room with heavy eyelids and demands they fall asleep. He's partly concerned that any of their friends will mock them for going to bed together despite it being a fairly regular routine but no one seems particularly interested in them. The only real reaction Regulus' loud proclamation, 'Potter, take me to bed', gets is some gagging sounds from Sirius and a smirk from Barty.

Fleamont looks a little confused but he stays quiet.

He wishes Regulus phrased it better. He's surprised Padfoot doesn't go mad at the implication but he supposes Sirius trusts him.

"Be safe, boys!" Euphemia calls as they head off.

James calls back, "Yes, the stairs are awfully daunting," and wonders what the hell has gotten into her tonight.

Before they can even reach the stairs however, Barty shouts after them as they pass a doorway.

"Oi! You two! Look up!"

James does so. And his heart drops.

"Aw," he hears Emmeline coo, "mistletoe!"

Yup. That's what it is. Shit.

He glances down at Regulus standing opposite him who is looking at the mistletoe with a thoughtful expression. Then he meets James' gaze, and James almost swears he sees a challenge in his eyes.

"We don't have to," James says.

Regulus shrugs, "I wouldn't mind," he replies and James can tell he means it. His expression becomes a little more sympathetic as he asks, "Do you not want to?"

Does he want to...?

His eyes flicker down to his lips then back up again. Maybe...

"Are you drunk?"

Regulus scoffs, "Off of two shots? I'm not drunk. I'm tired. And completely done with social interaction."

James hums. That makes perfect sense. Can't blame inebriation to either of them even considering the idea of kissing then. And James is definitely considering it. What sane person wouldn't? Regulus is beautiful.

Regulus smiles softly, "We don't have to," he echoes James' words.

And they just fill him with disappointment.

He wants... he wants...

"I mean," James says slowly, "it's... it's tradition."

What's a Christmas Mistletoe kiss between friends?

Slowly, he leans down as Regulus pushes himself up on his toes. It's cute -

That's the only thought he can muster before their lips touch.

It's a soft thing. Nothing like any of the make-outs he's used to. Regulus rushes nothing, and James feels his fingers trailing up his arms before his hands rest lightly at the back of his neck, applying gentle pressure to keep him pulled down. And James goes so willingly, an arm around his waist, the other cupping his cheek.

It's brief.

And it's everything he feels like he's been missing.

Regulus pulls away first, nudging their noses together before he falls back on his heels. James can barely make out the cheers and retching sounds around them as he comes to a realisation.

Oh, no.

I didn't want that to ever end.

"I – um,"

Regulus strokes his arm, "Was that okay?"

More than. He wants to do it again.

Instead, he bumbles out, "Yeah. Yes. Uh – yeah. You... kissing. Cool."

"Cool," Regulus repeats with a grin, "Wanna do that again sometime?"

Yes, of course, he does.

But that's not a friendship thing, is it? Can he platonically kiss friends? He's kissed Moony before, Peter a few times. Sirius less so, but only because it feels weird to kiss him. Is that the type of affection Regulus has with his friends? He's never seen him kiss Barty or Evan. Maybe it's another exclusive James Potter friendship perk?

"Um. Yes. Yup – sure. Totally," James replies, because... who would turn that down?

Regulus shakes his head, still amused, "You're flustered," and then he gently tugs his hand, giving him an obvious out, "C'mon. I really am exhausted,"

James follows him to his room, still in a complete and total daze.

He doesn't sleep for two reasons.

The first is due to him waiting for Fleamont; the second is the boy asleep in his bed. Or... he was asleep until a few seconds ago. But James watches from the window seat as he yawns and stretches out, reaches into the space next to him for a body that isn't there. Regulus opens his eyes with a pout before he spots him across the room and pushes himself into a sitting position.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

Because I'm too busy thinking about your lips, Reg.

How he could sleep so effortlessly as though he hadn't sent James' head into a spin was just the tiniest bit saddening.

James opts to tell him the other reason, "Me and my dad have this tradition every year on the 27th. At 3am, we're out there with a glass of home-made Eggnog-"

"What's Eggnog?" Regulus questions, crossing his legs and turning to face him.

"Some Muggle festive drink. Tastes gross but its pretty much ingrained in our routine," James tells him, smiling at his enthusiastic listener. He jumps off the window seat and walks to him, trying to ignore the way his face heats up as Regulus reaches for him naturally.

James takes his hand and sits on the edge of the bed. "Anyway, we go outside with our Eggnog and our blankets and we talk about anything and everything," he continues, "Unfiltered conversations, dreams of the future, fears and stuff like that. We don't bring it up for the rest of the year unless it's really necessary. It's just a good time to unload everything."

"Is he like you, then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Monty," Regulus squeezes his hand, "Does he put the well-being of others before anyone else to the point where others should be worried?"

James pauses at that before letting out a small chuckle, "Am I that obvious?"

Regulus seems to mull it over, "Maybe," he says, "I just see you brush off your own stress the moment someone else is in need... like you don't ever wanna ask for help."

"It's not that. Helping people helps me. I like being needed. My dad's the same. So yeah, maybe that's why we do it. Get it all off our chests and into the open so we can go back to looking after people."

Regulus stares at him, expression completely impassive. And then he sighs, resting his head against James' shoulder and wrapping his free hand around his middle.

"I'd look after you. If you'd let me," he tells him.

Which is possibly the best and the worst thing Regulus could say to him when he is already going through some sort of emotional confusion about him. His stomach turns, his heart quite literally feels like it's skipping a beat every three seconds.

James, a little choked up, replies, "You do plenty enough already just by existing, Reggie."

Regulus says nothing, just holds him a little tighter.

A knock at the door interrupts whatever moment they are having and Regulus pulls away with a smile.

"Right on time?"

James nods and says, come in, loud enough for Fleamont to hear it.

His dad appears in the doorway, light from his wand illuminating the room. He pauses when he spots Regulus and James sitting together but he doesn't look disappointed or annoyed. If anything, he looks mildly entertained by the sight.

"Oh, hello, Regulus. I apologise, I didn't realise you'd be in here," he fixes a knowing look at James, "Again."

James groans, "Dad..."

"At this point, I feel as though we should change your room into a guest bedroom. You so scarcely use it. We could add an extra dresser in here for your things-"

"Dad," James interrupts again, glaring.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise being awake would ruin a tradition," Regulus tells him, looking a little sheepish.

This seems to soften Fleamont immensely. Little shit had too much of an effect on his family.

"Nonsense, you don't ruin a thing. I say it all in jest, I promise." Monty reassures and Regulus lets out a breath beside him.

James turns to Regulus, gently guiding him back to lay down. Regulus goes without complaint and James can see that the younger boy is already tired enough to drop then and there, "Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Regulus mumbles an agreement, "Okay. Have fun." and then he rolls over and gets himself comfy again.

James hates how at home Regulus looks there. It'll be harder to get used to him being gone should his emotions get the better of him one day and he simply... bursts.

He leaves quietly behind Fleamont who guides them both through the dark house. As they walk down the hallway, he can hear Sirius' obnoxious snoring and wonders how Remus hasn't smothered him to death yet. They walk down the stairs, sneaking past Barty, Emmeline and Evan who are all passed out in the living room in a sort of pillow fort that James presumes they put together at some point in the evening.

In the kitchen, the Eggnog is already made and Fleamont passes him a glass before summoning two large blankets. The two Potters make their way outside and sit on the bench just outside their doors and, just for a moment, they embrace the quiet of a usually bustling home.

Then, after a sip and a scowl from the both of them at the taste of Eggnog, Fleamont speaks.

"So. You and Regulus?"

And... yes. Him and Regulus. Isn't that the question of the evening?

"I'm confused," James admits.

"What about?"

"I think I wanna kiss him again. Or all the time," James tells him, resting his head against the back of the bench, "Being around him makes me happy. I thought... I thought for ages that it was just like Sirius or Remus or Peter. But he's never been like them. It's always felt different, I've always felt..."

Beside him, Monty chuckles, "You're a very loving boy, James. It is unsurprising that it took you a while to work out the difference between romantic interest and platonic interest."

That word.

Romantic.

Why does that feel so right?

"Do I love him?" James asks, tilting his head to look at his dad.

Fleamont looks back with a smile, "How on earth would I know that?"

"Outsiders perspective?"

Fleamont hums, "You look at each other like you've been in love for years, son."

Ah.

James looks back up at the stars and thinks.

The way he gets jealous at the idea of Regulus being with someone else. The way he hasn't been interested in any sort of dating at the risk of not spending as much time with Regulus. The way he feels warm all the way through when Regulus is curled up next to him or holding his hand. The way he makes him feel just by smiling...

It's not as shocking a revelation to him as he thinks it should be.

"Love... makes sense. That word fits." he admits. Like it's the easiest thing in the world to confess and not a risk of shattering the friendship they have.

Fleamont laughs, "Mm. I am not surprised."

"Sirius is gonna kill me when he realises I'm in love with his little brother."

"I doubt that. I suspect he's already very well aware. The two of you aren't subtle."

"And Regulus... what if he doesn't-"

"Love you back?" Fleamont scoffs, "I've never seen that boy look so soft around anyone."

And that... yes, that is a reassuring thought.

James shuts off his mind for now.

"How are you, dad? How's your job?"

They spend the next few hours talking and catching up about everything and anything. Talking to his dad simmers down the upcoming panic he knows he must face eventually.

His room is silent as he comes back, save the soft breathing coming from his bed.

It's unusual how he feels now as he approaches, the reality of the situation setting in. Before tonight, coming back to Regulus being sound asleep in his space wasn't something that put him on edge or sent him into a panic. In fact, his presence alone was a comfort – still is, despite his inner turmoil about the whole thing. A part of him feels wrong to come here when he knows the depth of his feelings, unsure if Regulus would feel comfortable if he knew.

He sits on the edge of the bed, contemplating whether or not he should sleep on the floor when Regulus shifts, woken up by the sudden extra pressure. He wraps his hand lightly around James' wrist and blinks up at him sleepily. It's so endearing, it takes everything in him not to collapse and confess there and then.

"Hey," he says softly.

Regulus smiles, "You're back."

"Yeah,"

A gentle tug pulls him back and James can't resist lying down next to him. As usual, Regulus pulls the covers over the both of them and makes himself comfortable by curling up next to him. He doesn't realise how much the simple action is making James' heart race.

He wonders how he didn't notice before... it seems obvious to him now how much he loves him. Ridiculous that it took a jokey mistletoe kiss for his oblivious walls to come tumbling down.

But they'd become so close. When Regulus found out he loved him...

James murmurs, "Reg?"

He gets a tired hum in response.

"No matter what, you'll always like me, right?"

For a moment, James thinks Regulus isn't going to respond. Then the younger boy leans away, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at James. He still seems utterly exhausted, but James can tell the words have gotten his attention from the small frown. He reaches out, his hand stroking over James' cheek and James tries to keep his breathing even at the sheer proximity.

He is going to be the death of him.

"I don't think there's anything you could do to change how I feel about you, James Potter," Regulus confesses quietly, with complete and total sincerity.

James can only hope his expression stays neutral enough to not give away how much that means.

"Okay,"

"Okay," Regulus repeats, collapsing back down and pressing his face into the crook between his neck and shoulder, "Sleep. We still have a few hours till Sirius bothers us."

Sleep. He can do that... he can give him what he wants, just for now.

James commits to the idea that he'll spend the rest of their Christmas holidays pretending absolutely nothing has changed.

But when Hogwarts starts again, he'll talk to his friends. When he's back in the Castle, he'll admit to his feelings and accept the consequences it brings.