Good afternoon dear readers after a long break :),

before you start to read the new chapter, I would like to say a few words. As you see I just divided the XII in two parts after I realized that it will be much longer than I thought (the draft is a draft and written-out it can be much longer- but I didnt expect it to be this longer; I'm sorry!). I hope this won't disappoint you. However to speak also about nice things, the second part of the XII will be here during this week- at the latest the coming weekend :)

Enjoy and fell free to vote/leave a comment.

Sincerely,

Nightingale the Blue

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I fell in love with her courage,

Her sincerity and her flaming self-respect...

And it's these things I'd believe in,

Even if the world indulged in wild suspicion

That she wasn't all she should be...

I love her, and it is the beginning and end of everything...

F. Scott Fitzgerald (Letter to Isabel A.; Feb 1920)

The darkness of the night hid those who wished to be unseen. Those souls who sought the shelter of the darkness for their doings, required the protection of the late hours- Just as those who suffered in secret, pacing slowly through all the different layers of the night. Leon took another sip from the glass bottle. His heart bristled, facing the darkness ahead. Turning to Andreas, he said: "Constable, is it not strange? You look at the night sky full of luminaries and wonder why among all those, you happen to be on this one... There are endless possibilities, countless chances- yet, here you are, at this very place and marvel how a tiny moment can change everything. An initially petty moment turns out to be the most important one in your live. But when you realize this, it's already too late and not much left you can do about it..."

Andreas shook his head, knowing the reason of his thoughts. "I don't know much about those things, Inspector. What I know is this: if something happens, then it's happened. You can't turn back time. Maybe the time is there to let go; maybe it's the best to accept the truth and move on..."

A frown appeared on Leon's face as he listened to the elaborations of the other man. "Don't you think you already did what could have been done, Inspector? You protected her far too often- and just of a few she is aware of! You almost lost your position in the police forces. Don't you think it is enough?" Andreas was looking at his superior, waiting for an answer.

Leon chuckled with ill humour. "Love is insatiable; it nourishes itself from hope and abundance..." After a short breath he added: "Besides this from you? I can't even count the times you helped them out or warned them prior a search..."

The young man looked guilty while he shrugged his shoulders in a helpless manner. The Inspector turned to the dark sea again. "Maybe you are right. Maybe it's time to let it all go. But when I remember the way I treated her..." He was running his hair through his hair "I kissed her without her consent after invading her house in the middle of the night, far worst I acted as we were drunk..." He was looking tortured now, oblivious of Andreas' shocked expression. "It would be easier to do this all if I would be unaware of her feelings, Andreas. But I, being aware of them; me knowing that she loves me too, can't turn my back and move on. She speaks in anger to me, yet I hear not the words- her eyes speak to me, telling me the truth."

Andreas pressed his lips together before he released a sigh. Who was he to judge this man? "Inspector I was about to fall in love, too- Hava, you must know her- The moment I saw her I knew she was the one I would fall in love with and there would be nothing that could stop this truth..." His voice broke and Leon could imagine what he must have gone through "But sometimes neither the time nor the place are right. It simply turns out to be a missed chance- nothing more..."

The silence that fallowed to the gloomy words was tale-telling. Sometimes, things were not to be, they were doomed to stay half.

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Finally, their cause was taken from the streets to the mighty saloons and rooms of the polite society. Women's right was to be defended in the chambers of the Senate, now even more than before. The consequential re-balancing of the ratios bestowed organizations such as The Violets another form of importance. Surely, they still were derided or not taken serious by this or that fellow, yet the general approach had changed, defining them anew. This conjured a satisfied smile on Hilal's face. Putting the quill down on the ink set, she turned to Eleni. "Is Lütfü still in the Printing house?"

The woman shook her head "No, he just wanted to stop by; he should be here every moment."

Hilal nodded satisfied. "I read the articles of Ms Anna and Sophia in the morning. Yesterday, they were walking on air because of their first published articles." She smiled proudly "Who would have ever guessed that we would publish a gazette with female writers uniting different nationalities and religions?!" Looking brightly at her friend she added: "Can you imagine what this means? We demonstrated the world that to defend the same values is enough; that women are very well able to face mankind at the same level- eye to eye!"
Eleni looked down at her little daughter who was sitting on a blanket at the floor. Babbling the baby girl was playing with a blue-painted, wooden aircraft. A peaceful expression settled down on her face and Hilal wondered for a moment what it felt like to be a mother. She was pulled out of her thoughts as she heard her friend say: "I think I can imagine, Hilal. At the same time, I know that there will be so many possibilities of which I never thought of... But all those things we achieve, will make it possible that my little angel will be independent. She will pursue her dreams without being at someone's mercy and I feel honoured to play a part in this- no matter how small that part might be..."

Hilal pressed the lips together, the tears glittered readily at the corner of her eyes. "I was just wondering how it feels to be a mother, Eleni... hearing your words I can tell you for sure, little Hava is one of the luckiest daughters of the world- she has a mother like you..." a laughter left her lips "and of course a father like Lütfü. Just imagine he would have heard us..." Eleni wiped away the tears as she started to laugh as well "He would be very angry with us." Imitating his voice, she said: "And I? I guess I play no role in this all?"

As Lütfü entered the Daruhane a little later he was puzzled by the sudden outburst of laughter. "What is going on?" He could not hold back the smile, seeing the mirth of the women "Why are you laughing?"

Hilal just waved her hand "It's nothing of importance. Have you been in the printing house? Is everything alright?"

Lütfü hung his jacket on the coat hook as he answered "Yes, yes everything is alright... but there is some news circulating..."

"What news, Lütfü?" Hilal was looking curiously at the man who was a little irresolute now.

Sighing he said "The Inspector..."

A panicked expression was on Hilal's face now "What is with the Inspector?" The worry and impatience clear in her voice.

"Looks like he is going back to Athens. His mother lives there... from what I hear, she moved there shortly after her husband passed away..."

Lütfü did not say more as he realized that Eleni was shaking her head. Looking at the pale face of the young woman who was frowning deeply now, he heard his wife say:

"Lütfü, it's time for Hava to sleep. Maybe you could bring her home and put her into bed?!"

Eleni waited till her husband left the Daruhane with their daughter. Observing her friend closely she smiled knowingly. The dropped shoulders spoke volumes, just as the slight pull of her lips down. "Hilal?"

But her friend didn't answer. Eleni walked over and sat down on the chair right beside her. "Hilal?... My love is everything alright?" Knowing very well that this was not the case, she waited for the agitated woman to speak. Yet, Hilal refused to utter any word and after a while Eleni lost her patience. Someone needed to shake her up.

"Hilal, why are you dragging it out? You love that man, don't you?!" she sighed. "Let's say you ignore what he feels for you- what about you? What about your feelings? Will you continue to ignore them or let me ask it this way, will you be able to ignore them any longer?"

But Hilal seemed not to hear her as she mumbled "He kissed me... he told me that he loves me and now..." With wide eyes and an unbelieving expression on her face she turned to her friend as if she could answer her question. Even though Eleni would love to provide her an answer, she was trying to comprehend the meanings of Hilal's words.

"He kissed you and told you that he loves you?" Realizing that her friend was not capable to form a word, she stood up to bring her a glass of water from the carafe on the counter. Hilal took the glass before she brought the cool liquid to her dry lips.

"You didn't see the man for 3 days; every time this door opened I saw the hope glittering in your eyes Hilal, and when it was not him, it withered away." She put her hand on Hilal's cheek encouragingly. "If you can bear this feeling for the rest of your live, then do whatever you want to do; but if you cannot then do something. Talk to him, Hilal or you will regret it!"

Hilal shook her head "I cannot... it's not this easy, Eleni! Look at us, we fight for a cause. We have still a long way to go, I can't leave it all now..."

Eleni shook her head "Do not use this as an excuse to hide your fears! Our cause is not stoppable anymore. The idea is plant on the minds, the wish in the hearts. This cause is more than you and me, it is the inevitable future... And you know that being in love or married or whatnot will not hold you up from fighting for it..." Eleni was smiling now "One thing does not rule out the other. We are women; we have needs too, we want to be loved and cherished as well. What is more human than to love anyway?!"

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Hilal had not slept the night. Her thoughts had circulated around Eleni's words and in the deep of the night as she faced her own reflection on a broken mirror in the dim light of a candle, she had come to one conclusion: Gathering all her courage she would plead him not to go... for she loved him dearly.

Looking at the sombre building, the young woman took a deep breath to calm her fluttering nerves. In the night as she had made up her mind, she knew that it would not be easy. But facing the façade of the headquarters, Hilal realized it was even harder. Biting her lips, she took the steps to the entrance.

A little lost Hilal tried not to pay attention on the shocked faces of the officers. On every other day she would be amused with their reaction, but right now she was more worried about finding Leon. Recognizing one of the constables from the protests, Hilal walked over to the man who was sitting on a desk, observed in a hill of papers and files. The young man looked up as he noticed the casted shadow on the sheets he was studying. With a hint of curiosity, he looked at her expectantly. Hilal licked her dry lip before she asked him if she could speak with the Inspector.

"I am sorry Miss, but the Inspector is not here."

She tried not to show her disappointment. "When would he be here then?"

The constable shook his head "He must be at the port now, Miss. In half an hour his ship will leave for Athens..." Hilal did not listen any longer to the man... she felt the coldness creeping up from the tips of her fingers to her arms and from there it reached her rapidly beating heart. She could hear the blood rushing through her ears, making her mind go numb. Turning away, the woman left the headquarters slowly. For a moment she stood in front of the old building, not knowing what to do... But then she started to run.

Hilal's lungs burned as she finally reached the port. Hearing the serene of the ship, she run with the last reserve of energy in her blood to the docks. But no matter how hard she tried to find him in the chaos, she didn't succeed. Running up and down the pier, her panic grew from second to second. Her heart-beats were so loud in her eyes, she thought it must stop every minute. Yet, she still didn't give in. She thought she saw him. On fast steps she made it to the man and grabbed him on the arm; But as the man turned back to her, Hilal realized that it was a stranger. Not bothering to apologize she continued her search... but as she saw the ship leaving the port, Hilal knew that she was too late. The tears run uncontrollably down her eyes; clutching the rock of her coat in distress, she tried not to give in to dizziness...

Eleni was helping a customer with his order. A smile played at the corner of her lips as she heard that Hilal went to the headquarters- surely to confess her feelings... She was happy for her friend and curious about the confession. Her eyes wandered to the door now and then, looking for Hilal's return. Bidding the old man farewell, her smile brightened even more as she finally saw her friend at the door. But noting the tears on her eyes, the paleness on her face, Eleni's happiness turned to worry. "Hilal? My love, what happened to you?!"

"I did not make it in time Eleni! He left..." The tears pearled down her cheeks again, her voice muffled. Hilal closed her eyes in hope to get a grip of herself. She was too late.

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Eleni had sent her home earlier, but Hilal did not know what to do. She walked up and down the living room. Realizing that it didn't do much to help to calm the restlessness, she walked to her room. Slowly she pulled her chair back as she took a seat at her desk. The first time in her live she had felt vulnerable in Leon's presence, the day as he had sheltered her against a blow that was aimed to harm her... Back then Hilal had felt helpless, her pride had suffered. But now she knew that in his presence she had been vulnerable and helpless all the time... paging through the leather-clad book she opened an empty sheet. Her fingers encompassed the quill by their own accord:

The day I left my father at a drear graveyard something died in me,

The warm-blanket of my father's presence was gone,

And there was no one left I could seek shelter on stormy-nights...

Yet, his love and the good memories cherished me,

His words encouraged me to fight for the things I believed in.

Until an unknown feeling bloomed in my chest-

One day, this feeling demanded its place in my heart.

'This feeling, which is too strong to comprehend

This feeling, which is too mighty to fight

This feeling leaves me without me

It is in your eyes Inspector...

This feeling hurls me away from you while

Bearing the wish to be as near to you as your heartbeats...

And now, I am bound to you with invisible chains...'

Hilal put the quill down. Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act* . she had missed that very moment...

*Paulo Coelho

End of Chapter XII. 1.