Saturday, May 12th, 2017. 7:35 AM.
• • •

The coffee burned my throat as I chugged it, sitting with my knees to my chest on the couch, I flipped through the channels. The volume was low as not to wake Ben, who had woken me up at 4:30, with his lips, pressed to my shoulder and his hand down the front of my sleep shorts. I had given in to his advances, I needed to feel something other than anger towards him, and for those thirty minutes that followed, I was not angry.

Sighing, I settled on a rerun of Charmed and set my mug down, eager to watch the episode. After a few moments, I realized I was not genuinely watching the show; my mind was replaying Luther's quick, angry voice on repeat. His words were echoing as I stared at the screen.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...

A click from my bedroom door alerted me to Ben. He walked out of the room, no shirt, and his plaid pants hung low on his hips. He smiled at me before grabbing a towel from the linen closet. My eyes stayed on his retreating back and waited until I heard the shower turn on before turning my attention back to the screen. He would be out in twenty minutes, dress and then eat a bagel with cream cheese and drink coffee before heading to work. We both worked at The Daily Planet, but he worked on the fifth floor.

As I sat there, I fiddled with my phone, playing a connect the dots game, until he walked out fully dressed. Smiling, he came up to me, and I breathed in his cologne as he leaned down to give me a quick kiss.

"What are you doing up. You're off today," Ben wondered as he walked into the kitchen.

"Couldn't sleep," I responded.

I heard his work shoes click against the hard floor of the kitchen, and then a sad sigh escaped his lips. He must have seen that I hadn't made his coffee for him. When I woke up this morning, it wasn't something I had thought of doing, and I always made it for him. I kept my gaze on the screen before me and listened to him fix his breakfast. I knew that this meant something, but I didn't want to voice what I'm sure he knew.

We weren't going to make it.

Soon, his hand clasped onto my shoulder, and I smiled up at him as he leaned down to kiss me. He told me not to wait up since his day would be long- something about a deadline for a video render.

The moment he was out the door, I turned off the tv, discarded my now chilled coffee, and slipped into bed. My mind was jumbled, and I couldn't come to terms with listening to it scream at me that I was going to be alone anymore. With burning, tired eyes, I wrapped the blanket tight around me and welcomed the darkness.

5:45 PM.
• • •

The smell of dinner settled into the air. Spaghetti sauce and Italian sausage sat in separate pots on the stove with their lids while I waited for the text from Ben. The noodles sat in the sink, and I reached for a bottle of wine off the fridge. Pinot Grigio will do. Filling my cup halfway, I settled on the counter, sipping the light pink liquid, closing my eyes, I reveled in the quiet and just drank my wine, my mind wandering.

I felt his body before I heard his voice. Hot skin brushed against my bare thighs, hands splaying across my flesh before his lips trailed along my jaw, clean shave and a warm mouth.

"You didn't pour me any," his hips shifted between my legs widening them, and I set my wine glass down welcoming his advances. My heart stuttered in my chest when his lips trailed my collar bone, to the hem of my tank top.

A moan escaped my lips, and his teeth flashed against my flesh before he spoke again.

"Annie. Look at me."

Suddenly everything shifted, the atmosphere, the smell of dinner; was dark, and I was overwhelmed with emotions, a sob settled in my chest, and I kept my eyes shut. I suddenly didn't want to look at him.

Annie.

His voice was heavy and low.

A slick, dirty hand came to rest on my cheek, and so I opened my eyes.

Clark sat before me. His hair and face were dirty and drained of color. My eyes took in his uniform, grime-filled and bloody, my hand resting directly against the hole in his chest, blood smeared on my fingers and palm. I gasped no. This isn't real, this-this can't be happening. I've already lived through this.

Hot wet tears blurred my eyesight as my hands roamed his chest, shoulders, and face.

"Come back to me, please." I choked out.

A soft smile greeted me. Clark's eyes shut momentarily before his bright blues locked with mine, "I love you. You are my world-you are." His cold forehead leaned against mine as his grip on my hip and thigh tightened.

I held back my sobs and protests and listened to him speak. My mind was taking in his face, how he felt, his breath, his eyes, the smell of charred skin-even the metallic smell of blood. I memorized everything about him even if my brain was screaming at me to wake up.

"Annie, let me go. You're safe. You're in love. You're alive. I can't come between you and happiness."

"Clark, no. Bruce-he's-something is happening, I can feel it. Something big is changing-just hold on, we can get you back."

A sigh passed his pale lips, "I don't want to come back, Annie. Let me go."

His words slammed into me with the same intensity as seeing his dead body all those months ago. Let him go?

"Clark? You don't want to come back to me?"

A pounding in my head was growing louder, and everything began to shake, and suddenly he was gone, and I was staring into a different kind of blue eyes.

"Annie, you were having a nightmare," Ben explained. He was leaning over me, his brow scrunched and his jaw tight with worry. A steady hand rested on my cheek, stroking a small circle pattern with his thumb.

"I-I made dinner," I muttered sitting up, I rubbed at my eyes.

"I wasn't asleep long was I?"

"I just walked in and heard you moaning. Are you okay?"

I nodded, letting him help me up, "Yes, I wanted to do this for you."

"Annie, you've been off for days now." Ben tugged at his tie and undid his collar button as he watched me closely.

"I know. I'm sorry.  With everything that is happening, I can't believe I'm pushing you away. I need to be more present."

He was watching me with a look on his face I hadn't yet cracked. His eyes were soft but his brow was hard and furrowed. Teeth tugged at the inside of his cheek and I watched him almost struggle with his train of thought. Ben seemed to forget it all and pulled me into his arms.

"I think you should go see Dr. White." His hands rubbed my back and I nodded into his chest.

He was right, I wasn't handling the secrets Bruce was keeping, my job, or the world without him very well.

"I'll go on Monday."

"Good, good," His chin rested on the top of my head and we stood there for a moment. I could hear his heart beating and feel his lungs expand with every intake of breath.

"Ben?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

He was alive.

I was alive.

I was happy.

I am happy.

I needed to accept this.

* * *

If you haven't noticed I changed Annie's face claim from Troian Bellisario to Jessica Chastain. I've been toying with the idea for a few weeks now and decided to change it. I hope it's not too confusing. Let me know what you think about the change.

Remember, the Justice League plot is not going to span the entirety of the book, it will be a big part of it, but I have some great things planned for Annie and Clark once the movie plot is over. The next two chapters will be the lead up to her and Ingrid's meeting and it'll bring us back to the JL plot. Sorry for another filler chapter, it'll be worth it!

See you next time!

Please vote and comment, I enjoy reading your comments :)