"That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die."

-H.P. Lovecraft

Mario:

Peach, there is a great place to go to watch the Blood Moon Eclipse!

Peach:

What's it called?

Mario:

It seems to be called R'lyeh. It's an island city off the western coast of the United States of Koopaland.

Luigi:

That doesn't sound like a good idea, I've recently been reading a story from H.P. Lovecraft called The Call Of Cthulhu. It has a place with that exact name.

Mario:

I didn't know you're obsessed with cosmic horror!

Peach:

Me neither.

Luigi:

Ever since I got over my fears I decided to read a certain genre of horror. So I chose to read cosmic horror.

Toadsworth:

Well 'tis but a book, and it takes place in the world you two are from.

Luigi:

It's fiction, there never was a real city called R'lyeh. At least I think so.

Mario:

Let's-a-go!

Narrator:

Soon after.

Mario:

Peach, are you dressed?

Narrator:

Peach walks out the door of her room, dressed in her New Donk City dresswear.

Peach:

Yup! Let's get on my plane.

Toad Pilot:

Princess Peach, right this way. Alright there mustache, we need to check you for any power-ups before we let you on.

Mario:

Mustache? I'm Mario, you should know who I am!

Toad Pilot:

I know, just having a little fun here. To the city of R'lyeh!

Narrator:

On the plane.

News Anchor Toad:

It seems like the island city of R'lyeh has the perfect weather for the Blood Moon Eclipse rather than in the Mushroom Kingdom. Right to our meteorologist Kimberly.

Kimberly:

That's right, it seems that the Mushroom Kingdom is going to have a high chance of rain, with the high being 15°C. Back to you Kent.

Luigi:

The brochure for R'lyeh says something about cultists that worship the Eldritch God called Cthulhu every Blood Moon Eclipse.

Mario:

This Cthulhu guy must be very important to them.

Peach:

As long as they don't have to do any sacrificing.

Luigi:

It also says that looking at Cthulhu will cause you to go mad in the mind.

Mario:

So looking upon him will make you go insane.

Luigi:

That's the just of it.

Toadsworth:

Well we don't want to end up in a mental ward do we now? The Princess not being able to rule will send the kingdom into anarchy!

Mario:

What does Cthulhu look like?

Luigi:

Big and green, with a face full of tentacles in the mouth area, not to mention the big wings! *Shudders*

Mario:

 Who are his relatives?

Luigi:

There's his great-grandfather Azathoth, grandfather Yog-Sothoth, grandmother Shub-Niggurath, only-known parent Nug, and half-brother Hastur.

Mario:

Alright.

The Call of Ktulu starts

The Call of Ktulu ends

Toad Pilot:

R'lyeh seems to be raining today. It didn't say that the weather was going to be this way here.

Luigi:

Mario, Peach, and Toadsworth, if you see anyone with a cloak, tell me. I'm going to read The Hounds of Tindalos.

Mario:

Alright Luigi, we will!

Toadsworth:

Were you sure this idea was smashing, Mario?

Mario:

It's only a story, I'm barely worried at all!

Peach:

That's the sound of someone who is super worried.

Cultist #1:

Ymg' ah geb l' c' hafh c' uln uh'eog cthulhu? (Translation: Are you here to help us summon our master cthulhu?)

Toadsworth:

He seems to be speaking in R'lyehian. Sorry, c''re ahehyee geb l' mgr'luh gn'th'bthnk yogshugg eclipse. (Translation: Sorry, we're here to see the Blood Moon Eclipse)

Cultist #2:

Ymg' dare skip yog llll uln? (Translation: You dare skip the summoning?)

Cultist #3:

H''s fine yov'uvha. F' ah foreign l' innsmouth, y'ha-nthlei, ng r'lyeh. (Translation: It's fine yov'uvha. They are foreign to Innsmouth, y'ha-nthlei, and R'lyeh."

Toadsworth:

Thank ymg' og much. (Translation: Thank you very much.)

Peach:

I didn't know you could speak R'lyehian, Toadsworth!

Toadsworth:

In my High School days I used to take world languages. R'lyehian was one of them.

Narrator:

At the lodge.

Luigi:

This floorboard really is getting on my nerves. Huh? It seems to be the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis AKA, the Book Of The Dead! Let's see, ah yes! 

Luigi:

Uh oh!

Toadsworth:

Did you hear that?

Mario and Peach:

Luigi!

Luigi:

Not the deadites! Have some holy water!

Deadite #1:

Augh!

Narrator:

All the deadites stood there, then they started bowing to Luigi.

Luigi:

They seem to fear me. Deadites, I am your master now! Follow me.

Narrator:

The deadites started to follow Luigi.

Luigi:

Let's see where we can find an Italian restaurant somewhere around here. 

Narrator:

Later at the waters.

Mario:

It's late in the evening, let's get something to eat.

Peach:

I brought some tea, biscuits, and finger-sandwiches!

Toadsworth:

Splendid! Let's start right away. Tally-ho!

Peach:

First, we have to boil some water in a kettle. Then pour the water in our teacups. Put our teabags in the cup, let them set, and add honey and sugar cubes. Hors D'oeuvres Mario?

Mario:

Don't mind if I do!

Peach:

So I guess they're going to summon this Cthulhu guy?

Mario:

Yep, tonight.

Toadsworth:

It's best if we don't think about it.

Peach:

Where's Luigi?

Mario:

I don't know, he should be coming to have dinner with us.

Luigi:

Alright, what do you want.

Deadites:

*Grunt*

Luigi:

You're not hungry?

Waitress:

Wh-what d-do you want s-sir?

Luigi:

I'll take the Cthulhu Spaghetti. Also to drink I'd like the Great Old Ones' Cola.

Waitress:

R-right away s-sir.

Luigi:

I guess she was afraid of you guys.

Deadite:

*Grunt*

Luigi:

Well, you all are kind of evil spirits.

Waitress:

(Fastly) Here's your food! Just take it, it's free!

Luigi:

Free food, huh? Deadites, you are very helpful because you're super scary! Come with me.

War Pigs starts

War Pigs ends

Narrator:

Later at 10 o'clock P.M.

Mario:

Time to go near the coast so we can watch the Blood Moon Eclipse.

Peach:

It's those cultists again.

Cultist:

Oh uh'eog cthulhu, c' uln thee hup thy fhtagn. Fhtagn, ahagl's necronomicon? (Translation: Oh lord Cthulhu, we summon thee from thy sleep! Wait, where's the Necronomicon?)

Luigi:

Eat this you fishy freaks! Meet my deadite army.

Cultist:

Deadites hup necronomicon! C' goka h' back! (Translation: Deadites from the Necronomicon! Give us it back)

Luigi:

I thought you were going to hurt my friends.

Cultist:

Ahehyee h' goka back ng c' shan't vulgtmor ymg' ng ymg' friends. (Translation: Just give it back and we shan't sacrifice you and your friends.)

Luigi:

Alright here you go, take it.

Cultist #1:

Mgah'ehye's vulgtmor girl! (Translation: Let's sacrifice the girl!)

Mario:

Peach!

Peach:

Mario!!

Dream No More plays

Dream No More ends

Cthulhu:

Who has summoned me! 

Cultist (In English):

We have, great lord Cthulhu, and we shall sacrifice the girl to you!

Peach:

Mario, Luigi, help me!

Cthulhu:

I haven't had a meal in aeons!

Luigi:

Not today!

Cthulhu:

You dare threaten me mortal, I am Cthulhu, I have more power over you!

Mario:

Let me handle this!

Narrator:

Mario couldn't grasp the true form of Cthulhu. But he grabbed a mirror and faced the reflective part toward Cthulhu.

Cthulhu:

You think you can use my own form to drive me toward insanity? It's like you're trying to fight water with fire!

Mario:

That's not the point. Luigi, hit him with something from that "Necronomicon!"

Luigi:

(In R'lyehian) Cthulhu, c' mgulnah thou l' syha'hnahh ph'nglui fhtagn!

Cthulhu:

I shall return in aeons to destroy the world!

Peach:

Thanks Mario, thanks Luigi. *Kiss*

Luigi:

*Faints*

Toadsworth:

Splendid Mario and Luigi! Now we can watch the eclipse.

Free Bird plays

The End