All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh, baby tell me why'd you have to go
'Cause this pain I feel
It won't go away
And today I'm officially missing you

I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you

Oh, can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey, baby say it stays on my mind
And I (and I), I'm officially

All I do is lay around
Two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall (face on the wall)

Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say, baby, safe to say
That I'm (that I'm) officially missing you

Officially Missing You - Tamia

---

Atlanta, Georgia - June 5th 2023 - 10 am

The sad melody of the song Officially Missing You by Tamia came out of Sebastian's cellphone speaker. He didn't choose the song. His Spotify app was playing random recommended songs and the sad song was chosen, much to his annoyance. As if the app could read his mind and knew the song that represented his heart.

He was sitting at the dining table at his rented apartment in Atlanta, eating a somewhat late breakfast. He was scheduled to have his first shoot for Thunderbolts that day. He needed to go to the set in an hour, but he felt lonely eating alone. So he put on Spotify and decided to listen to some songs so that the room didn't feel so quiet.

When he digested the lyrics of the song he felt a pang in his heart. How so very true to his heart the lyrics were.

It's been exactly 5 days since Y/n left him. Not a day went by without him thinking about her and Starlene. Not a second went by without him missing both of them so much.

He often wondered how things could've gotten so bad in less than a month. His mind wandered back to the very beginning of their relationship and he realized that yes, their relationship was so full of obstacles. It was a miracle that they were both alive and married.

Maybe she was right. Maybe they weren't meant to be.

His heart ached tremendously as he thought of that possibility. He didn't want to accept it. Deep in his heart he knew they were meant to be. But he didn't know how to fix their relationship. She was asking something he couldn't possibly give her.

He felt disappointed at her for requesting something he could never fulfill. He thought she understood him. He thought she knew that for him being an actor was something like being his mother's son. A status he was born with. An identity he couldn't let go even if he wanted to. Being an actor was like his life's calling. He couldn't possibly give it up.

Of all people he never expected Y/n to ask him that. She was supposed to be his soulmate. Someone who could understand him and accepted him the way he was. But then, maybe soulmates just don't exist. And in the end, all anyone can think about was their own happiness. He thought bitterly.

He sighed and continued to eat the scrambled eggs he had made for himself. He was eating the last piece of scrambled eggs when a familiar melody came out of his cellphone's speaker.

His heart seemed to stop as he listened to the song. It was Endless Summer Nights by Richard Marx. The song that he and Y/n danced to the night he first confessed his love to her.

Summer came and left without a warning
All at once I looked and you were gone
And now you're looking back at me
Searching for a way that we can be like we were before

Now I'm back to what I knew before you
Somehow the city doesn't look the same
I'd give my life for one more night
Of having you here to hold me tight; oh, please
Take me there again
Oh, oh

And I remember how you loved me
Time was all we had until the day we said goodbye
I remember every moment of those endless summer nights

He felt his eyes prickling as he listened to the song. Now that their relationship was different, the song meant something different to him. It was originally a break up song. But when he danced to it with Y/n more than a year ago, he was focused more on the melody and on these lyrics as he tried to persuade Y/n to agree to be in a relationship with him.

There's only so much I can say
So please don't run away from what we have together
It's only you and me tonight
So let's stay lost in flight
Oh, won't you please surrender

Now he realized it really was a break up song. And listening to it just made his heart spiral into more sadness.

His mind wandered back to the day she left him. He couldn't be alone that day dealing with the heartbreak by himself. So right after he left the airport, he went straight to his mother's house.

"Oh, Sebby honey. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you." His mother had said as she gave him a tight hug.

He sobbed on her shoulder and cried his heart out. Her mother rubbed his back gently and whispered calming words into his ears. Eventually his cry subsided and he was able to talk more about his situation with Y/n.

After explaining everything to her she looked at him with a slight disappointment in her eyes. But then they quickly cleared into a loving and understanding look.

"Marriage is not just love, Sebby honey but also consists of honesty, loyalty, good communication and compromise." She had advised him.

"I know, mom. I'm shocked too that we both have problems with being honest with each other." He sighed.

"Well, you have to remember that the reason you lied to each other is because you didn't want to hurt each other and not because you hid an affair or something bad like that. I mean, you didn't cheat on her nor she on you. Right?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No, Mom. We didn't cheat on each other." He replied.

"Well then in my opinion there's still hope for you both. You just have to learn how to compromise." She advised.

"But mom, it's her who didn't want to compromise. I told her that I was willing to lessen the jobs I accept in a year. I asked her to come with me to Atlanta. But she wouldn't accept. She kept asking me to stop being an actor." He said, his voice raised a little.

"Well, try to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel being harassed by those fans? How would you feel dealing with all the hate and negative talks by the public?"

"I got the hate too, Mom." He protested.

"Yes but not like her. I'm guessing she received more of the harassments than you did. Even if she didn't, you had experience with this kind of thing before whereas she most likely didn't. Try to understand that." She said, putting her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"Yeah, I get it. I just.. can't believe she would ask me to stop being an actor." He said, his face went sour.

"It's probably the only thing that seemed to make sense to her. And from what you told me, it seemed you contributed as well." She said, giving him a stern look.

"What do you mean I contributed, mom?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You're not exactly innocent. I mean, leaving your wife alone with a sick child on your honeymoon? I thought I taught you to be a gentleman." She reprimanded him.

He sighed. Every woman he talked to had a problem with that. He realized now that he really was selfish.

"I'm sorry, mom. I guess the excitement of being a first time producer and how I got my first Cannes premiere blinded me."

"Yes. You need to put your priorities straight. Family is number one, Sebby honey. Always remember that." She said.

"Well, what good does that do now that she doesn't want to be with me anymore." He pouted.

"Oh Sebby honey. I've never seen a couple more in love with each other than you and her. Give her some time and space. I'm sure eventually she'll come around and will want to get back together with you." She encouraged.

"You think so, mom?" He asked, doubt in his voice.

"Yes, Sebby honey. Having been in a failed marriage myself I know true love when I see one. What you and her have is true love. You have to believe that."

"She said love is not enough." He replied, looking down in defeat.

"Oh Sebby honey, she was probably too emotional when she said that. Love is enough but you also have to put in the work."

"I feel like I have put in the work, mom. But it's not enough for her." He complained.

"Well, from what you told me you still have some improvements to do. You said that she wanted you to help out more around the house. That's something you can definitely work on, right?"

"Yeah.. I guess. It's just that when I'm about to shoot a movie I tend to focus more on preparing for that. I mean, I think that's normal, right?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Well it is. But in this case you have to consider what has been happening to her. All of the things that had happened since your wedding must have taken a toll on her. She's now so stressed out that her fight or flight reflex kicked in. She needed you to be there for her to help deal with her stress but you were busy with your own thing. So instead of fighting she chose to flee because she thinks it will give her a reprieve from all the stress."

Her mother's words shone a light in his mind, making him understand more about her reasons for wanting to get a divorce.

"You're right, mom. I've been such a bad husband." He said, his voice shook and a tear dropped from his eyes.

"Oh Sebby honey, I'm glad you realize that. But don't kick yourself too hard. As long as you realize it then it's a start. Now you have a film to shoot. Try to focus on that. Before you know it she might just come around and come back to you." She said, putting her hand on his cheek gently.

"Thanks mom." He nodded.

Her mother smiled and gave him a warm tight hug.

He wished he could stay at his mother's house longer. He knew being alone in Atlanta would just make him depressed. But he had a job to do. He couldn't just not show up.

Richard Marx's voice brought him back to the present moment. He pressed the stop button and the song stopped playing. He needed to get his s**t together. He thought as he wiped a tear that had dropped from his eyes. Today was the first shoot for Thunderbolts. He needed to focus and be professional. He couldn't let his personal life get in the way of his job.

He had arrived in Atlanta days before to settle in and to have meetings with the director and other cast members as well as fitting for his costumes and fixing the look for Bucky with the make-up team. Some of his cast members had started shooting a couple of days ago. His first shoot was scheduled for that day, and his scene was with Wyatt Russell, the guy who played John Walker.

The scene was a rather intense scene involving a hard debate and eventually a fight between them. He had prepared for the scene since before his wedding. And he had some time back in New York to practice the fighting with his trainers at a gym near his apartment. He had also spent several days in Atlanta practicing with his stunt team.

Despite all the training that he had done, he felt he wasn't ready. All he wanted was to just stay in his room, lying down on the bed and mope.

Everyday since she left him he had thought of calling her, or at least sending her a text message. But he knew she needed some space and he was afraid of bothering her if he contacted her too soon. He was hoping she would contact him first. But it's been 5 days and he had only received one text from her, right after she arrived in California, letting him know that she and Starlene had arrived safely. He had texted her back saying he was glad that they had arrived safely. But after that there was no more communication between them.

Since he didn't dare to contact her he ended up contacting her father everyday. Just to check up on her and Starlene. Her father thankfully didn't mind. He did however scold him the first time he contacted him. Reminding him about his promise to take care of his daughter and not hurt her.

He had explained the situation to her father and eventually he understood, much to his relief. He had advised the same thing to him just like his mother did. Which was to give her some time and space. He also promised to try and persuade her to come back with him. He was so glad her father was so supportive of him. He and her father had become rather close in the past couple of days. He kind of reminded him of his own father, and the feeling felt bittersweet to him.

He glanced at the clock on his cellphone and decided to call her father. He still had about half an hour before he had to leave so that should be enough to check on her and Starlene.

He swiped on his cellphone and pressed the call button on his father-in-law's number. It didn't take long for him to pick up.

"Good morning Mr.Y/F/L/N." He greeted him.

"Oh good morning, Sebastian." Her father replied cheerfully.

"How are you today, sir?"

"I'm good.. I'm good. Just slightly disappointed that our flat screen TV in the living room has ceased to stop working for no reason at all." He sighed.

"Oh. That's too bad." He replied.

"Yeah. Anyway, I still have an old TV that still works. So, it's no big deal." He shrugged.

"Oh that's good."

"Yeah. Anyway, I'm sure you want to know how my daughter and granddaughter are doing."

"Umm.. yes, sir. How are they?"

"They're fine. Starlene is still asleep and Y/n is in the kitchen preparing some breakfast."

"Oh that's good. Has she.. has she mentioned me at all?" He asked nervously.

"Not exactly. I mentioned you to her though." He said, making his heart skip a beat.

"Oh! And what did she say, sir?" He asked as his heart rate increased.

"Well, I asked her how you were doing and she just replied that she didn't know because you haven't been communicating. I asked why not and she said she still needed some time. I'm sorry, Sebastian."

His heart dropped to his stomach as he listened to her father's answer. He really had ruined it all hadn't he? He thought, kicking himself up.

"Oh. I see. Well, thank you for mentioning me Mr.Y/F/L/N."

"No problem, Sebastian. You know, it's been a while. There's no harm if you want to try and contact her first." Her father suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe I will later on today. I have to go to the set in a moment."

"Ah, your shoot for Thunderbolts is starting?"

"Yes, today is the first day."

"Good luck then Sebastian. If you see Harrison Ford, would you tell me I said hi. You know I'm a big fan of his. I loved him in Star Wars and Indiana Jones."

"Oh I didn't know you were a fan of his." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I am. Oh, I have to go, she's coming my way. Talk to you later, John." Her father said, making his eyebrows raised.

"Uh.. yeah. Thank you, sir. Talk to you later."

Her father then hung up, leaving him hanging. She must have been quite close to him that he resorted to calling him John. He shook his head as he felt a great sadness in his heart.

Maybe he was right. There's no harm in trying to contact her first. He was about to send her a text message when he heard a knock on the door.

That must be Wyatt, he thought with a slight annoyance.

"Sebastian! Are you ready for our fight?! Cause I'm ready to kick your butt!" He heard Wyatt calling him from behind the door, making him roll his eyes.

"Coming, Wyatt!" He called out as he put his cellphone in his pants' pocket, stood up and cleaned the dining table.

After putting his breakfast plate and fork in the dishwasher he went to his room to grab his wallet. His wallet was inside a dresser in the nightstand. He pulled out the drawer and picked up his wallet. His eyes glanced at a box placed underneath his wallet. It was a velvet box Y/n had given him as a wedding gift. He had put the heart shaped and key shaped pendant along with the necklace she gave him into the box yesterday before he went for a fitting for Bucky. Bucky wore dog tags and that was what he had worn since yesterday. But he realized he hadn't taken off his wedding ring yet. Bucky wasn't married so he should take it off.

He glanced at his wedding ring and couldn't help but be reminded of the day they exchanged their vows.

He remembered every word she said to him that day.

"Today, in the presence of God and all our loved ones, I promise to always love you, adore you, support you through all the joys and the sorrows. I will stay by your side as we sail through this life, with all the storms and sunny days. My heart belongs to you.. forever and always. I love you."

A tear dropped from his eyes as he remembered her promise to him. A promise that he felt she couldn't keep.

He knew that in this case it seemed he was more to blame than her. But he couldn't help but feel disappointed that she would think of divorce so soon without trying to fix things first. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand why she would give up their love so easily.

His heart ached in disappointment as he slowly took off his wedding ring and put it into the velvet box. He wondered whether he would ever wear it again. Will she accept him back or will she continue to ask for divorce? At this point he didn't know. And the thought frustrated him.

He snapped the velvet box close and returned it back into the drawer. He turned around feeling the familiar heaviness in his heart and stomach as anger started to seep into him.

He took a deep breath, counted to ten and let it go. He decided to channel his anger and frustration into his work today. Something he often did whenever he showed up for work. Thankfully the scene he was shooting that day required him to feel anger and frustration. So he just let the feeling simmer in his heart.

---

The Set of Thunderbolts, Marvel Studios, Atlanta, Georgia - June 5th 2023 - 2 pm

"You will never replace him, Walker! Don't pretend that you're like him!" Sebastian, as Bucky, yelled at Wyatt, as John Walker.

With all the anger and frustration in his heart he lifted his hand and punched Wyatt in the face. His right fist connected with Wyatt's left cheek hard, leaving a bruise on his cheek.

"Oh my God! Wyatt I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Sebastian broke out of character as he realized what he had done.

Wyatt touched his cheek with his hand, looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

He wasn't supposed to hit him for real. He was supposed to hold back a little and Wyatt was supposed to pull his head back a little.

"Cut!" The director, Jake Schreier yelled and immediately came to them.

"Wyatt, are you okay?" Jake turned to Wyatt.

"Yeah, it just stings a little." Wyatt said, dropping his hand from his cheek so Jake could see the damage Sebastian had done to his face.

"Well you have a bruise forming there." Jake commented.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, Wyatt. I'm sorry Jake. I got carried away." Sebastian said, his head hung.

"It's okay, Sebastian. We actually got a really good shot of you." Jake said, turning to him.

"Is it okay if we continue the shoot?" Jake asked, turning to Wyatt.

"Yeah.. yeah.. sure. It doesn't hurt that much. And the make-up team won't have to put a bruise on me now." He chuckled.

"Okay then. Well we already got the shot of you Bucky, hitting Walker." Jake said, turning to Sebastian. "Now we just continue on with you, Walker, attacking Bucky back." Jake explained, glancing at Wyatt.

"Okay. Sure." Wyatt nodded and Jake left them.

"Oh God, I'm really sorry, Wyatt." Sebastian said again, feeling so guilty and embarrassed.

"This never happened to me before. I swear. And I will not let it happen again." He promised.

"Hey, it's okay, Sebastian. Sometimes the feelings the characters are having on a scene impacts us for real. I get it. Don't worry about it." Wyatt said, clapping his back and smiled at him.

"Thanks for understanding, Wyatt." He said in relief.

They continued the shoot but Sebastian felt he couldn't focus much. He was afraid of hitting Wyatt again and that made him forget the moves that he was supposed to do.

After what felt like a hundred takes Jake finally asked them to stop and asked Sebastian's stuntman John to replace him. His focus was so bad that Jake resorted to use John for the scenes where Sebastian was supposed to be in.

Sebastian slumped on a chair on the side of the shooting area. Watching John and Wyatt fought each other, feeling so disappointed with himself.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking of Y/n. Aside from being afraid that he could hit Wyatt again, she was one of the reasons why he found it so hard to focus.

The anger he felt at her earlier was now gone, replaced by utter desperation. He wondered what she was doing. Whether she was thinking of him too or not and whether she still loved him or not. He rubbed his ring finger absentmindedly but then stopped himself when he realized he didn't have the ring on.

He closed his eyes and shook his head hard, trying to let go of the thoughts of her.

For the next three days he found it really hard to focus. He ended up being a coward and didn't send her a text message or call her at all, thinking that she might need some more time and space as he remembered what her father said to him, that she still needed some more time.

But not being able to contact her put a toll on him. He found himself hard to fall asleep at night, his mind overthinking everything about her and their relationship so that during shooting he felt much like a zombie.

He did a lot of wrong moves during fight scenes that John ended up replacing him again. He often forgot his lines and said the wrong lines that it took many takes until he got them right.

His inability to focus and perform well hadn't gone unnoticed by Jake and his other co-stars. By the third day Jake finally pulled him aside.

"Sebastian, I'm really sorry to ask you this. But.. are you okay?" Jake asked.

"Yeah.. I'm okay. Why?" He asked, feeling embarrassed that Jake had to ask him that. He really needed to get a grip on himself.

"It's just that.. I'm sorry, but I can't help but notice that your focus isn't here. And I'm sorry again but I expected a lot from you. I know you can do better." Jake reprimanded him.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, Jake. It's just that I'm in the middle of a break with my wife. And I find it hard to focus because of that. I'm sorry, I'll try and do better. I promise." He pleaded.

"Oh, I see. I thought you guys were alright. I mean.. I saw the interview where you clarified everything."

"Yeah.. she.. umm. She asked for a divorce after that interview. Please don't tell anyone about this. I really don't want anyone else to know." He replied, feeling more embarrassed that he had to share that heartbreaking detail about his life to Jake.

"Oh, okay. That's tough. I understand. However, I hope you can find a way to deal with that so you can get your focus back on shooting this movie. You know, every single day we spend thousands of dollars filming this and we have a schedule to follow. So I would really appreciate it if you could try harder and focus on shooting." Jake requested.

He nodded. "I'll try my best, Jake."

"Tell you what, why don't you take a break now and do whatever you need to do so you can come back tomorrow and focus. I'm just going to continue shooting the action scenes with John now." Jake offered.

"Oh, Jake. That's really thoughtful of you. Thank you." Sebastian said.

"I suggest you get some sleep. You look like you haven't slept in days." Jake commented.

"I will, thanks Jake." He nodded.

He felt utterly embarrassed but also felt somehow free. He felt exhausted and sleep was something he really needed.

"No problem. See you tomorrow, Sebastian." Jake clapped his shoulder and nodded. He then left him to explain things to John and his other co-stars.

Sebastian looked up and saw John and his co-stars looking at him in concern.
He hated to disappoint everyone so he would try to do his best tomorrow. But for now he was free. So he gave his co-stars a wave and a smile then turned around and headed back towards his trailer.

He was almost near his trailer when he saw a familiar face. Anthony Mackie was walking towards him. Anthony noticed him and his face broke into a wide smile.

"Seabass!" Anthony called out to him.

"Mack attack." He smiled wide as they stopped in front of each other.

"How are you, man?" Anthony asked him as he opened his arms wide and engulfed him in his embrace.

"Good.. good.. how are you?" He asked, hugging Anthony back.

"I'm good too. I was about to pay you a visit on set. I thought you were supposed to be shooting?" Anthony asked, his eyebrows raised as he released him from his hug.

"Uh.. yeah. John is replacing me for the rest of the day. Jake is just going to shoot the action scenes." He explained.

"Huh? I thought you usually do the action scenes yourself. Well.. most of them anyway." Anthony commented.

"Yeah. I.. uh.. have been having some difficulties in concentrating today so Jake gave me permission to take a break for the rest of the day." He responded.

"Difficulties in concentrating? Is there a problem, Seb?" Anthony asked, his face showed concern.

"Yeah. There is. Come on, let's get inside my trailer. This will take a long time to explain." He said as he put his arm around Anthony's shoulder and guided him towards his trailer.

It really did take a while for him to explain everything to Anthony. By the time he was finished, Anthony gave him a look of complete disbelief.

"Your wedding and honeymoon story sounds like a movie." Anthony commented.

"What?!" Sebastian exclaimed out loud. Leave it to Anthony to make weird comments like this.

"I didn't mean that to hurt you. That was a compliment." Anthony corrected.

"Uh huh yeah. Well it's a nightmare for me." He sighed.

"I bet it is. And I'm really sorry that you're going through this right now. Speaking from personal experience, divorce is hard and messy. I don't ever wish it on anybody." Anthony said, leaning back on his chair and looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah. But you got through it. And you even got back together with your wife. How did you do it? I really can use some pointers right now." Sebastian said, a glimmer of hope entered his heart somehow. If Anthony could get back together with his wife after years of divorce, then surely he could too.

"Well.. for starters we have four kids. So, they're our main reason for getting back together. But in the end, no matter how cliche it is, it's always because of love." Anthony replied, smiling a little.

"Love huh?"

"Yeah, good ole' plain love. I realized that I can't live without her and that there is no woman out there more perfect for me than her." Anthony said, his eyes glazed with love a little as it seemed he was imagining his wife.

"I'm happy to hear that Anthony. But, she said love is not enough." He said bitterly.

"Oh she's right, it's not enough. You still have to put in the work, communicate better and compromise. But without love, you wouldn't have cared to do any of that, right?"

"Hmm.. true." He said, rubbing his chin as he contemplated what Anthony just said.

"Anyway, you still love her right?" Anthony asked.

"With all my heart." He replied wistfully.

"Then fight for her. Win back her heart. Remember what you did back then to win her heart when you were just starting out and do that again. No wait, don't just do that again, but do it better." Anthony said as he leaned across to him and clapped his shoulder.

"You can do this, Seb. I have faith in you. And I'll help you out if you want me to." Anthony winked.

"Thank you so much, Anthony." He smiled wide.

Listening to Anthony made him feel like the fog had been lifted from his mind and heart. He could see the sun now. He could see that he still had hope of getting back together with her. But like what his mother and Anthony said, he needed to do the work. And that was what he intended to do.

"So, do you remember what you did in the beginning of your relationship?" Anthony asked, leaning back on his chair.

"Yup. I do. But you know what, I think I'm going to use a somewhat different strategy this time." He replied with a twinkle in his eyes.

---

A/N : About Anthony Mackie's status, here I mentioned that he got back together with his wife. In real life I think he's still divorced. Just FYI in case you guys are wondering. But he does have four kids.