"Alright cast and crew, welcome to the table read for Hollywood Arts season 1 episode 18 "Beggin On Your Knees" based off the song our dear cast mate Tessa Rose wrote and sang." The director greets.

Everyone around the room begins clapping to me, Alex pushing me into a side hug as I giggle thanking them all.

The director smiles, waiting for the claps to calm down before continuing. "Now before we get started, I am announcing that I have chosen someone to play the "heartbreaker"/ "playboy" Ryder Daniels."

The rest of us clap again, grins all around the back stage cast sitting along the walls and the main cast who were sat around the table, one chair left empty for the actor going to play Ryder.

"After long, long auditions...Derek Samuels everybody!"

Right as that name rang through my ears, I turned to Alex beside me, him looking right back with the same expression. The man who had tortured me for 6 years, up until I was 23 was now here again.

I moved my eyes past Alex and looked to the door way, there he stood with a nasty smirk on his face. It was nothing like the smirk Ian would do. Ian's was playful but loving, Derek's was cold-hearted and narcissistic. He glanced around the room at all the people clapping and cheering for him before he landed on me. His smirk disappeared but his eyes stayed devilish, he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Come over here, Derek." The director motioned for him to sit in the empty seat across the table straight from me.

I gulped in a huge lump in my throat, shifting in my seat. Alex placed a hand on my back to try and comfort me but he knew it wouldn't work. I lost everything because of this man. Right when my life finally falls into place he has to come in it again one way or another. When I broke it off with him he swore to me he'd find me again, that he would never let me be happy without him. I thought he was bullshitting me but I guess not...my nightmare has finally came back to haunt me. What we had was nowhere near over.

- -

"Alright everyone, now let's do introductions so our friend Derek over here is more comfortable around us." Our director John explained. He looked over at me, "Tessa, do you mind starting?"

I glanced over at Derek who had his full attention on me, I then looked at my brother who gave me an unsure look concerned at how I'm doing. "Um, okay." I nod letting out a nervous chuckle. I turn back to Derek. "I'm Tessa Rose, I am 25 years old and happily engaged with a baby on the way."

"And so I've heard." Derek nods.

"Thank you Tessa for starting but actually, Derek do you mind giving us a small introduction about yourself before continuing?"

"Yes, of course." Derek smiles before looking around at the table surrounded by all my friends from the show. "I'm Derek Samuels, I'm also 25 years old and I currently have no significant other but if we're being technical I know our friend Tessa very well." He sends me a look.

"Oh really?" Leon looks at him. "From where?"

Derek chuckled to himself as he smirked over at me. "Actually. We used to date."

"Wow." Our director looks between the two of us. "What a small world."

A tear slips down my cheek as all the haunting memories flash lightning speed through my mind. I snap back into reality, wiping the tear off my cheek before looking up at our director. "Um, John I'm not feeling so good. Do you mind if I go back to my trailer for a while?"

"Yeah, of course. Whatever you need sweetheart." He thankfully accepts.

I give him a forced tight lipped smile before placing my hand on my brothers arm to help myself up. Once my body lifts up from the seat I glance over at Derek and can see him staring at my baby bump. I place my hands on my stomach as trying to protect my baby before walking off.

- -

"Tessa." Ariana's voice calls out to me as she knocks on my trailer door. "Tessa can I come in?"

I wipe the tear that fell down to my jaw. "Yeah, doors open."

I hear footsteps walking up my small set of steps before the door creaks open. She looks at me cautiously afraid I would be in critical condition.

"Hey love." She gives me a small smile, closing the door behind her.

"Hi." I return one back.

"How're you doing?" She asks as she comes over to sit beside me on my couch.

"I'm okay." I shrug lying. "Just feeling a little sick, that's all."

She didn't believe me 100%. "Are you sure? You were all smiles and happy until Derek came in. And he said you two dated?"

"Mhm." I nod confirming.

"But he seems like a good guy. Why would you get upset about seeing him besides the fact he's your ex?"

"Well..." I shift a little. "Do you remember about me telling you I had a psychotic and abusive boyfriend for 6 years?"

"Yeah."

I purse my lips. "That's him."

Ariana's mouth hung open. "It was that Derek?"

"Mhm."

"Oh my God." She gasps putting her sleeve covering her hand on her mouth. "Tessa I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't know."

"No. No, that gave me no reason to question you." She pulls me in for a hug. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay." I let out a weak giggle as my throat begins to burn.

Ariana pulls away and sees my red cheeks. "Oh my baby." She pulls me in again, now me completely sobbing. "I can't believe this is happening to you."

"He's a monster, Ari." I shake my head in her shoulder. "I can't even look him in the eyes without reliving all of my past traumas."

"Oh my goodness." She brushed her hand through my hair.

I sniffle pulling back. "I don't know what to do."

"We need to tell John."

"No." I shake my head wiping my cheek. "John spent day and night for weeks trying to find a Ryder. I couldn't do that to him."

"Tessa..."

"Seriously, Ari. I can manage it." I let out a deep breath. She looks me in the eyes and I look in hers. She can read me exactly. Ariana gives me a small pout and I let out another sob.

"Aw." She rubs my knee. "You don't deserve this, Tess."

"I don't get why these things keep happening to me." I choke out.

"Me neither." She sighs shaking her head.

"Tessa." My brothers voice calls out to me from outside. "I'm coming in." Without me being able to say anything else, he barges in, a phone in hand. I sniffle furrowing my brows looking at the device. "Someone wants to talk to you."

He hands me the phone and I take it from him, putting it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey baby."

I let out a small whimper. "Ian."

"Hey. I heard what happened."

"Oh. You did." I sniffled.

"Yeah, your brother called me right away."

"I thought you were supposed to be on that Chinese talk show." I try to change the subject not wanting him to worry.

"I just finished a few minutes ago when a backstage crew member handed me my phone before walking into my change room saying it was urgent."

"No, no Ian seriously it's okay. I'm fine." I try to convince.

"Tessa I can hear it in your voice, you were just crying."

I glance at Ariana who gives me a reassuring smile. "I'm just scared, Ian. He was the reason why I never had a voice, I couldn't see my family and I had bruises everywhere." I sniffle. "Seeing him again triggered a part of me that I thought I had finally put away for good."

"I know baby. I know."

"Not having you here messes with me." I sigh. "I thought I would be okay but..." I let out a chuckle, another sob building up in my throat. "Clearly I'm breaking."

"And that's why I'm coming home, right now."

"What?!" I sit up straight. "Ian what do you mean? I thought you had a radio appearance and another talk show to do."

"A radio show and talk show aren't as important to me as my family."

"But your fans-"

"I love my fans but they're going to have to understand that now they aren't my main priority, my fiancé and child are. I'm just about to get on my plane and I'll be there at 2 am."

"Ian you didn't have to do this."

"Would you do the same too if you were in my position?"

"Of course I would."

"I love you Tessa."

I let out a sigh wiping a tear that snuck down my cheek. "I love you more."

"See you soon, okay?"

I nod my head even though he can't see me. "Okay. Have a safe flight."

"I will."

I smile to myself. "Bye."

"Bye."

I remove the phone from my ear and hang up. I give it back to my brother. "How's it going out there?"

"John had to finish the table read without you. It was hard though." He answers.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, Tess. That jerk deserves to get thrown in hell and if he so as much says one word to you I will kill him myself."

I let out a small giggle. I look back and forth between him and Ariana. "Thanks guys. I really love you."

"We love you more." Ariana smiles pulling me in for a side hug.

I have amazing friends and family. I love them so much.