I was always here, I didn't fall down

Lying here trying not to drown

Or trying to drown, I forget which

My breath feels too heavy, in and out

I lose myself in the screaming sounds

Of mutedly trying not to care

Whilst imagining that she's still there

I feel cracks forming under my hands

But I can't care, don't think I will fall

Can't say if I want to feel like this

The torture she brings keeps me alive

I guess that's why I romanticise

Something within me lives for the hurt

Too lost to speak but I can still love

I only feel like me when I cry

When I draw her without knowing why

Strength of the pain keeps my heart beating

So I believe that's the right feeling

Fuck stability, I just need her