"Vernon?" I knock the closed door. "Vernon, I know you're in there", we are all worried for him and when he won't open the door, it gets me pissed.

"Vernon, please, come out", Seungcheol next to me tries to say to the other side. Still nothing.

I look at Seungcheol who sighs. "I will try to speak to the others. Explain things like our fights", he is about to leave but I grab his hand.

"Seungcheol.. Can you not tell about me and Vernon? Like, what we had done?" I ask.

Seungcheol nods and smiles. "Of course. Talk to Vernon, say that I'm sorry".

"I will".

And then Seungcheol leaves and I look at the door again. Why isn't he opening the door even for me? I'm worried. I really need to talk to him about us. Why didn't he tell me about his love?

Again, the same reason, Seungkwan.

Love is hard.

"Ver-" I shout again but at the same time the door opens, revealing kinda tired boy. Vernon has messy hair and annoyed look. Before I can say anything he pulls me inside and bangs the door shut again.

"Okay, what the fuck Hansol?" I face his back and he leans his forehead to the door. The room is dark, so I can't see clearly.

He sighs. "Seungkwan can you shut up? What did you talk with Seungcheol again?" Vernon sounds aggressive and I gulp.

"I heard everything", my voice is confident. "I know, what are you really thinking about me. You love me. I just don't under-"

My words are interrupted when Vernon puts his hand to cover my mouth and then he pushes me to the bed pinned right under him. He looks at my eyes.

But he doesn't look angry, he looks more sad.

"I-Im sorry.. Sorry that I have used you like that.. But I ain't gonna stop", he says while I'm trying to mumble under his hand. Vernon's face comes closer and he then whispers to my ear:

"I don't want to lose you".

Let me go, so I can say that to you.

Vernon lifts his face and takes his hand away from my mouth, and then suddenly he kisses me roughly. It's like he is making me do it.

I push him away. "Hansol, wait!" I look at his eyes. "I-"

He doesn't let me finish and kisses again, putting his tongue to my mouth. I have to open it for him. I can't stop him. I moan a little when he starts caressing my thighs and deepening the kiss even more.

Vernon..

I close my eyes and he kisses my jaw going down to my neck. There he goes; sucking my skin and making marks again. It hurts because the old bruises are still there. "Ah.. Vernon", I squek out loud.

Vernon's hand went under my shirt lifting it away. "Vernon.. Wait..", he lifts the shirt away and shuts my mouth with his mouth again.

I feel his pants getting thight down there when he leans closer to me between my legs. It makes me blush and moan something again. He backs off from my mouth making french kisses through my upper body.

My whole body got shivers.

He is making me so hot sometimes.

But we can't do this. I know it.

Vernon reaches my pants and starts to slide them down, but I stop him by grabbing his arms. "No. I have to say something to you. It can't wait anymore and you can't shut me up", he looks now confused.

He comes up face to face and lifts his brow. I'm not letting his mighty upper body on top of me distract me so I close my eyes.

"Hansol.. I love you too", it comes quiet. The boy in front of me isn't saying or doing anything so I have to peek what kind of face does he have. He looks amused.

"No.. No you don't. You just think like that, because we are friends", Vernon tries to cover me, looks like he is starting to panic.

I put my hand to his other cheek. "I love you more than a band member or a friend. I just.. I don't know how", it's hard to explain. At least it looks like it's working. "I haven't been brave enough to tell you. Do you remember the night at the restaurant? I realized it then".

Vernon is still quiet. I let a small smile come to my face and he grabs my hand from his cheek. "I.."

He can't say anymore anything and just hugs me thightly. His face hides in my neck and I can feel his grip holding me like I was disappearing. My hands slide to his back.

I let a chuckle. "I'm so sorry Hansol. I just thought you just wanted sex", my eyes roll and I hear his little laugh and a breath in my neck tickling.

"No.. I should be sorry. I should have told you and like that. I have been stressed and...", I hear his voice crack. He doesn't continue so I assume he can't anymore. I brush his hair.

"It's okay..", being like this with Vernon is comfortable. We have cuddled before, sure, but now the meaning is different.

It makes me blush even more than the sex.

"Hey.. Seungkwan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to continue?"

// so i had this vision of a new fanfic at night few days ago and i'm literally crying how good idea it was im genious