Schedule for today being January 12:

Have classes as usual. *Ask Mr. Adeleke about phagocytosis after Biology class.

Try to keep Kenny from killing Sylvanus during midday. Hell, for the rest of the day.

AVOID DANIEL WELLS!!!

I paused to tap my pen on my lips.

It'd been two days since I last talked to Daniel. Two days since our tour. Two days since I decided that he wasn't good for me.

I honestly did not know how I managed not to run into him for two days but I was planning on keeping my streak. He did something to me that I shouldn't like as much as I did.

I yawned and looked at my watch. It was 4:30 in the morning and I feared going back to sleep. The bedside lamp illuminated the drug packet on the table, the drug that could solve all my problems. But I wouldn't take it, taking it meant I agreed that I couldn't handle my nightmares and that was something I would never do.

I crossed my feet under me and listened to the measured snores of the girls in my room. I could differentiate the small, ladylike snores of Grace from the manly, tractor-driver saw wood of Kenny. Telemi was a silent sleeper — thank God.

I smiled knowing that in about an hour I would get to rudely awaken all of them for school, thirty minutes earlier than expected.

I lay back on my bed in my black singlet and shorts, my feet covered in black socks, and grabbed my chemistry textbook, determined not to fall asleep.

Chemistry was my favorite subject and I couldn't wait for my first class on the subject today.

Much to my dismay, my brain decided to replay the last conversation I had with Daniel as a soundtrack to my reading.

“So tell me something,” I turned to my side and supported my head with my hand. “Did you really set your principal's car on fire?” I fiddled with the thread of the carpet so he wouldn't see how much I wanted him to be kidding.

“I'm sorry, I can't tell you. I sort of swore an oath of silence on that subject.”

I dropped my textbook on my stomach. Stupid Daniel, all you could've said was no and we'd have avoided all this.

So yeah, Chemistry was definitely a bad choice of reading material for this morning.

I made sure my watch was set for 5:30 and lay back.

Flipping through my pink binder, I was amazed at how far I'd come. My binder was an essential part of my life and I couldn't imagine how my life would've turned out without this little piece of control it provided.

As I was flipping my eyes landed on the last page and I stopped. Opening it fully I ran my eyes through the words as though I hadn't already memorized them.

Master Plan!

* Get two degrees: preferably before 25

* Build an empire (you don't need a man)

* Be a good person

* Make friends. You can never have too many.

* Leave something that people will remember you by.

My master plan always reminded me that there was a bigger picture and to keep my eyes on the ultimate prize.

Speaking of eyes, mine were starting to tear up because I always tended to over-exert them when I didn't wear my glasses and I absolutely hated my glasses. I had a small face so any glasses I wore looked humongous on me.

I closed my eyes to rest them and pretty soon I was in the back seat of a car.

I didn't know how I got there or who was driving but I recognized the soft rhythm of Tuface's African Queen coming from the stereo.

I looked out the window to try and deduce where we were but it was dark and foggy from the rain.

Squinting, I tried to make out the form of the driver but the image was hazy like it usually was when I didn't wear my glasses.

I looked to my left and suddenly I wasn't alone. There was a small boy, light-skinned like me, in a Superman shirt playing with a Superman action figure. The dust of the Cheese Balls he'd just finished eating circled his mouth and I restrained myself from cleaning it off him.

As if he knew I was staring, he stopped playing and looked up at me with soulless brown eyes.

My breath hitched and I felt the tears sting my eyes.

“You did this.”

His voice came out hoarse and not like one that belonged to an eight-year-old.

“What?”

“You caused everything.”

The tears had started their journey down my face as guilt ravaged my soul.

“I'm so sorry, Bobby.”

“And you're going to get everything that's coming to you.”

My heart rate tripled just as my cousin raised his hand to point at something on the windshield.

As I looked I saw the two points of light hurtling towards us and I screamed.

Bolting up from my bed I clamped both my hands over my mouth to keep from releasing the blood-curdling scream.

Taking heavy breaths to quieten my raging heart, I tried to orient myself.

When I was sure I wasn't in a vehicle I lay back and cried as silently as I could to avoid waking my roommates.

The hurt and guilt that followed the accident — and which I thought I'd buried deep enough — resurfaced and fuelled my tears.

I'd had nightmares of the accident before but this was the first time that I saw Bobby in one of them. The hurt doubled because now my cousin blamed me too.

I'm so sorry, Bobby.

I tried to coax myself off that ledge because I knew if I ever fell again I wouldn't ever come back.

I focused on my breathing to calm my heart and once I was confident it wasn't going to break free from my chest, I cleaned my eyes and fetched my pink glasses case. Taking my glasses out I cleaned them with the small cloth I kept for that purpose and set them over my swollen eyes.

Checking my watch I almost jumped for joy at the fact that it was five and I could finally get ready for school. I didn't know what I would've done if I had to stay in one place with my jumbled thoughts. Plus this room was starting to feel a little claustrophobic.

After a ten-minute long hot shower, a clean mouth and a quick inhale of some of my lavender oil, I was ok enough to start getting ready for school. Lavender always calmed me.

I carefully put on my black pantyhose then my freshly ironed white shirt and black pleated flare skirt that stopped mid-thigh.

Immediately it struck five-thirty I turned on the overhead light, flooding the entire room with bright white light.

“Ok girls. Y'all need to get the hell up,” I hollered and hit Kenny who was closest to the light switch beside the door.

I went round and shook Grace who tried to smack me.

I wasn't going to bother shaking Telemi because I knew she couldn't sleep with bright light. It was only a matter of time before she had to get up.

“I really don't even know what your problem is,” Kenny grumbled to her pillow so half of her words were muffled.

I chuckled. Students were supposed to wake up by six via a siren, that was the rule but since I doubted that just one loud siren would be able to wake up my friends, I'd taken to waking them up along with my punctual ass by five-thirty.

“Come on, ladies. Let's get moving!”

I threw myself on Kenny's bed and reveled in her groan.

I turned her so she was facing up and brought my face close to her ear.

“Wake up!” I yelled.

“Jesus is Lord!” she screamed and bolted up.

I cackled evilly.

“Congratulations, you have reached an all-new level of mad,” she ended in a yawn and rubbed her bare arms. The oversized green T-shirt she'd no doubt stolen from her brother's closet was rumpled.

Kenny scanned my face like she usually did when she suspected I wasn't telling her something.

“Are you ok?”

I nodded.

“You're lying. Your eyes are swollen, have you been crying?”

I bit my lower lip and looked away.

“Did you have another nightmare?”

Kenny knew about my nightmares and the cause of them because she was my oldest friend. When they got so bad during the holidays I would call her, sometimes by 2 am because I didn't want to be alone. She never once complained.

Kenny took my silence as agreement. “You should have woken me,” she said and grabbed my upper arms.

I shook my head and forced the tears back. “There was no need. One of us deserves a good night's sleep at the very least.”

“I thought you said you saw Nurse Oge two days ago? Didn't she give you something or is she now completely useless?”

“She did but I didn't take it. I can't.”

“Why not?”

I didn't answer and looked away again. Grace was fully awake now and saying her prayers and Telemi had sat up.

“You can't keep living like this, Marachi,” Kenny brought my attention back to her. “Yesterday we had to wake you up because you were crying in your sleep. The day before that you woke up with a scream and wouldn't go back to sleep. This can't continue, ehn.”

I didn't answer but focused on the drawing of a guitar player on her shirt.

“You have to see Mrs. Obassi, at least.”

Mrs. Obassi was our school counselor and asking her for help would mean opening up, which I wasn't ready to do. Not yet.

“I won't, I'm not crazy,” my voice was choked.

“No one said you were. Talking to her doesn't mean you're crazy.”

I shook my head.

Kenny sighed. “Well, you're going to have to think of something, babes. We need a permanent solution.”

“I'm fine, I can handle it,” I shook her hands off of me.

“I don't think . . .”

“I am not going to someone just so they can analyze my mind, find something wrong and officially declare me insane all because I have scary dreams at night, I won't do it,” I said sternly in a way that indicated I wasn't going to pursue this topic of conversation any further.

I got up and just as I was slipping on my black suede flats I felt something connect with the back of my head.

Turning, I found the pillow that just assaulted me and a glaring Telemi.

“Are you serious?”

“That is for being an evil roommate.”

“It's just thirty minutes till you have to wake up for real, suck it up.” I stuck my tongue out at her and ran my fingers through my hair.

Deciding that I didn't have time to brush it, I stuck a pink brush in my blue backpack and threw my hair into a hasty ponytail.

“Don't worry, Telemi. Her reward is in heaven,” Grace eyed me as she began ironing her uniform in the T-shirt and leggings she'd worn to sleep.

“More like hell,” Telemi added.

Hanging my bag I relished the way my thick hair bounced behind me.

“You guys will thank me later,” I shot them all a kiss.

I passed Kenny who just fixed me with the look she usually gave me when she wasn't satisfied with the way our conversation ended.

“I have to go,” I squeezed her shoulder. “I'll see you in class.”

I left and went downstairs.

There was minimal light coming from the sky but I was able to find my way around through the floodlights the school had erected around.

Being the only one around at this hour of the day, I wasn't as freaked out as I should've been. The school had adequate security and having walked this particular path at this particular hour for four going on five years without incident, I was safe.

I could hear the sounds of the night birds and my shoes as I walked to the gate.

Being the first person out I had to unlock it first before I moved out.

Getting to school I went straight to the staffroom in the Administrative Building. As retaliation for getting his favourite hoodie seized for inappropriateness, Ramiu from my class took out the locks of the staffroom and Mr. Eze's office, the man that seized his slanderous hoodie, so it was easy for me to slip in to get what I needed.

The staffroom was basically just a large room with sofas, a coffee machine — which if you were wondering, doesn't work because this entire school was anti-stimulants — and a water dispenser where the teachers came to gossip when they felt their offices were too lonely.

Walking over to the cabinet over the desk and chair that was Mr. Olabode's permanent office, I turned the key dangling from the lock and opened it.

In it were rows of keys hanging on nails above a piece of masking tape detailing which locks they opened.

I selected the one for the library, locked it back, and made my way out of the staffroom, the keys jiggling in my palm.

I climbed the stairs to the last floor and went directly to the double doors of the library and unlocked it.

Getting in I turned on the light and the fluorescent bulbs responded by filling the entire room with light.

I closed the door behind me and entered.

The library was my second favorite place in this school because I lived and breathed books.

Passing the librarian's table I walked over to the reading area and dropped my bag on a chair and went about setting up the place.

The shelves of books were located at the back of the room and in front of them was the reading area. There were cubicles for those who wanted some solitary reading and big round tables for group reading. There were also armchairs with coffee tables in front of them that had newspapers on top of them. For some reason, we weren't allowed to use the armchairs.

I started the air conditioner and pulled back the curtains. I stood at the window a minute and squinted to see the lights come on simultaneously in both the female and male hostels.

Must be six already.

I plopped into a seat at the round table and in front of the window and got my physics note and my maths textbook. On second thought I took out my brush and went about brushing my hair.

It was way too tangled and I cursed my English genes for making my hair too long.

Once that was out of the way and my ponytail was back up, I fixed my glasses back on my face, got out my pen, and went to work revising what we learned yesterday in maths.

I didn't know how long I'd spent in the library but as I was practicing some questions in physics the door opened and Miss Adenuga the librarian walked in.

“Oh thank God!” She closed the door and gave a sigh of relief. “When I didn't see the key in the cabinet I almost fainted and died because I was sure I left it there.”

I smiled. Miss Adenuga was by far my favorite staff here. She wore glasses, was reedy and just a few years older than me and shared the same love of books as me.

Today she wore a purple sweater over a grey pencil skirt with a yellow neckerchief.

“I'm sorry I frightened you. Good morning.”

She sighed and dropped her bag on her table. “It's fine, Amarachi, but don't you ever sleep?”

Her words stung and I couldn't bring myself to answer.

“I'm just happy the key isn't missing,” she said and sat on her seat.

She fished out a blue and silver travel mug from her black leather bag on which was tied a yellow material similar to the neckerchief she had on. That was another thing I liked about Miss Adenuga, she had the most fashionable accessories.

She took a sip from the mug and scrunched her nose.

“I'll be right back, I just need some more milk for this thing,” she adjusted her purple glasses and scratched her short Afro before leaving again.

I went back to my books and the next time the door opened it wasn't Miss Adenuga that entered.

Instead, it was Kenny, fully dressed in her uniform and a black headband over her neat cornrows.

“What do you want?”

As an answer, she walked closer to me and dumped a brown styrofoam cup and something wrapped in wax paper.

“You didn't come to breakfast, again, so I thought I'd bring something for you.”

She gestured to the food and hitched her black bag higher. She scratched her hair like she did when she was nervous.

“Look, Amara, I . . .”

“It's ok. I'm not angry with you.”

“I shouldn't force you to do something you don't want to even if it's for your own benefit. I'm really sorry.”

“I didn't think the indomitable Kehinde Omojola had those three words in her vocabulary.”

She playfully punched my arm. “I can only produce them for you. Bestie mi.”

I chuckled. “You're not well.”

“I also came to tell you not to worry. We're all crazy, it's not a competition.”

“That makes me feel so much better. Thank you.”

Kenny obviously didn't get my sarcasm because she replied with, “You're welcome. Now let's go to class, you can eat that later.”

I heeded her words and packed my books to get ready for another stressful school day.