I didn’t get 15 votes but I’m still posting this chapter just because I love you guys……HERE YOU GO
I woke up in a strange room, Hold on is this a hospital room. I see everyone shushing each other and quieting down. What the secret? Diggy has his head in his hands crying, he looks like he hasn’t been sleep at all what so ever. Nini is clutching onto Spin crying in his chest while Spin is holding back tears. Did I miss something? I tried to sit up but I kept feeling sore & my stomach was hurting. I laid back down and looked up at the ceiling wondering how I got here and most importantly WHY AM I HERE?
Me: Baby, w-why are you crying?
Diggy: J-Jes you don’t…..remember what happened? On the tour bus? Why we’re here?
Me: No I don’t r-
Then it all came back to me, the screaming, the bleeding, the crying, and pain I went through on the tour bus, the doctors telling me to calm down. How could this happen to me? How could I lose my only child? On top of that, how could I not know I was pregnant? I killed him or her that was inside of me. I’m such a horrible person. Tears ran down my face one after another, I can’t take it, I HATE myself! I’m so STUPID.
Me: *mumbles* Get out
Everyone looked at me like I was crazy
Me: I SAID GET OUT!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!!!!
Diggy: *Comes toward me and lays in the bed facing me* Shhhhhh baby…It w-was a mistake okay..It’s not your fault. It’s no ones fault
Me: It is my fault Daniel…..I should came to the hospital when I first started getting pains, but I didn’t. I’m so stupid.
Diggy: Baby, listen to me. It’s no one’s fault. Baby’s …ummm….you know all the time…miscarriages happen. It’s just life I guess...Just think about it our son is in heaven looking down at us with Jesus telling us everything will be alright. I can hear him now saying don’t cry mommy. We’ll have more kids in our future. You know I love you. You’re the only girl I love. When we get older I’m going to marry you Jessica Jarrel. You’ll be mines and we can have as many baby’s as we want. No more tears, no more crying. Baby stop crying and blaming yourself for something that didn’t happen because of you. You know I hate it when you cry.
Me: I-I-I L-Love you too *hugs him* Maybe you’re right
Diggy: Just get some sleep okay. *Pulls me closer and lays my head on his chest*
***
It’s been weeks since I lost my baby. To say I have felt better would be good, but I have overcome what I thought was my fault. Now that I think of it, it wasn’t my fault, not at all. Miscarriages are common in my family, my mother had 2 before she had me and my older brother Bruce. He’s not around like he used to be because my parents didn’t like the decisions he made. He comes to visit here and there but not as much since he moved to Cali……….Today we’ve just arrived in Atlanta next is Chicago. I’ve never been here before and I actually kinda like it here, it’s fun. Even though I have gone through a lot in the past few weeks, doen’t mean I’ve changed my mind about Daniel. I love him but we need to talk. SOONER THAN LATER…….I decided on going out tonight to the club with everyone. Spin suggested we go out and celebrate. For what? I don’t know but I could let go for a bit. We arrived at the club and didn’t have to wait in line which is great. As we walked in Birthday Song by 2 Chainz was blasting through the speakers. Everyone was dancing on the dance floor. I grabbed a drink and Daniels hand and led us to the dance floor. I started to twerk and dance all over him. He must have been loving it by the way he grabbed onto my waist hard. I danced harder on him and felt his hardness against my butt. I can’t lieit turned me on but then again, is our relationship only about SEX. I stood corrected when the song changed to 2012 by Chris Brown. I LOVE this song so yes we di get a little intimate. I was grinding against him slowly and he started kissing my neck. We got turned on and walked towards the bathroom. I decided on going back to the tour bus. When we got there no one was there just us. He started kissing my neck slowly unbuttoning my top. I usually liked this but I just started getting tired of it. Hepicked me up and laid me on the bed caressing my body. I started to push him away and he looked at me confused.
Me: S-Stop Dan (breathing hard)
Diggy: W-What did I do
Me: I…I just need to talk to you for a minute. It’s important
Diggy: Can it wait til later I really want you right now? (Kisses my neck)
Me: No I can’t wait now listen…..
Diggy: Okay go ahead (flops down next to me on the bed)
Me: I think we need space
Diggy: (laughs) Good Joke there Jes
Me: No I’m serious Daniel. I feel like all we do is have sex. Never a good conversation or just hanging out. We have too much sex as a matter of fact. I just need time to think..you know.
Diggy: No I don’t know. Bab y I have known you all my life nd now you need space. Plus we don’t even have that much s- well maybe we do. But space is something I can’t do. I can’t stay away from you or see you with another guy. You know how I am.
Me: So what. You’re making it sound like I said I wanna break up.
Diggy: Giving a person space is one of the steps to breaking up with them. Trust me I know this.
Me: Why can’t you let me be happy!!!
Diggy: I thought you were happy Jessica. You told me you love me, You lost your virginity to me, and We hang out all of the time. Is this not enough for you. I’m happy and I don’t want to lose you not now….not EVER
Me: (tears falling) PLEASEEE BABY JUST PLEASEEE GIVE ME SPACE DAMN!!!!!
Diggy: YOU KNOW WHAT IF YOU DON’T WANT ME AROUND ANYMORE AND IF YOU WANT SPACE THERE YOU GO YOU GOT IT. (walk s to the door about to close it) I hope you’re happy (slams door shut)
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I just wanted to give you a littl taste of what's coming next. WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHORT yes I know I have a little writers block so this is all I got. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think so far. Vote please if you want a new chapter and I’ll update ASAP.