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Hungover was an understatement. 

The next morning I was awoken by loud banging on my door.

"Get up Lydia, breakfast."

We were clearly past the tiptoeing around each other phase and back to making each others lives hell. 

"How was your night?" Leo asked as we all sat at the kitchen island eating some heart healthy bland cereal. 

I nearly choked.

"It was good."

"I heard." Leo smirked and Felix stifled a chuckle.

"Yeah I heard it's probably going to be my last." I shot a glare at Greg.

"At least for a ten mile radius." he confirmed.

"Unbelievable." I rolled my eyes.

It almost felt normal. Being back home and bickering with my brothers brought back the feelings I felt before leaving, when things weren't as tense. When life was simple and problems were small.

But it wasn't normal. I knew there was two years of tension, of thoughts unsaid, and conversations not had. 

For today I decided I wasn't going to overthink it. This didn't change me, being home didn't change the work it took to get me to where I am. I was still Lydia the bold and fearless girl who walks alone at night and makes enough money to live on her own. Their actions couldn't affect me because I decided two years ago they no longer got to control how I felt. 

"Good morning Bella," My father came up behind and kissed me on the head and took a seat. My mother followed.

"It is so good to have our family back together," My mother said and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, "Finally."

I tried not to sigh at the guilt tripping. There was a point where I cut off Joey and even my mother because of the guilt trip they gave me anytime I dared call. I started to get agitated at the memory of Joey and my mom telling me how I'm making a mistake.

How I need to come home because I'm breaking up the family, that things aren't the same without me. 

Those words affected me so deeply that I went to the school's free counselor. She explained, gingerly, that going no contact meant that I would need to be firm on my boundaries. 

She also explained that if I remained in contact with my mom and brother, these comments would likely be coming up constantly, and that I had to decide what is going to harm me vs just be something I choose to live with. The therapist was also the daughter of immigrants, and understood that the term "boundaries" was not a thing in some households and I would have a hard time enforcing them.

After the hundredth time of being guilted, I decided to block My parents and Joey too. Fast forward to present day, Maria Tonelli is trying to throw it in my face again. 

I twitched again at the mention of our once "broken" family.

"Enough," my dad put his hand on her arm, silencing her. 

That one gesture was enough to make me feel better. He saw me, he saw how I was feeling. 

I knew he didn't want me to feel bad, he had told me as much at the hospital.

He had told me how he understood that I had to leave and that he loved me and didn't blame me. I never felt close to my dad, but in this moment I felt like he understood me in a way the rest of my family didn't. I had so much respect for that man, who had been battling his own household for god knows how many years. 

I got up abruptly and took my plate to the sink to wash.

"So," Joey came up behind me, "What was the ladder doing there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I kept washing the dishes.

"I moved it back this morning so no one would ask questions. You're welcome." He shook his head and walked away.

I tried to calm my heart that was beating a a mile a minute. The thought of getting caught scared me, but my heart was mainly racing at the thought of Anthony in my room last night.

He kissed me!

I had to tell someone but I didn't know who. I didn't know if I trusted Lexi enough, and I didn't want to bother Bernice and Anita. I decided to talk to Lexi anyway, against my better judgment.

Hey are you free? Wanna get coffee?

I met up with Lexi as soon as she woke up. We were both still groggy from last night.

"How are you?" I asked. She grinned.

"I am great, you? Did you get in a lot of trouble?" She asked.

"No, surprisingly. I yelled at Joey a little. And Greg went back to the Jungle to commit some sort of crime that I don't want to know details on. We can't go back there I'm sorry Lex."

"Oh god," She half laughed half held her head. 

"Yeah, not fun." 

"I'm sorry," She said.

"It's fine." I laughed.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me.

"How were we going to get home Lexi?"I asked.

"Hm?"

"Your friend ditched us last night, how were we going to get home?" I asked again, slightly uneasy at her response.

"Oh yeah, I don't know why he did that, asshole." She shook her head and sipped her drink.

"We would have ubered or something I guess." I explained away the nagging feeling in my gut.

"So what did you do when you got home?" She changed the subject.

"Okay that's why I texted you actually because I don't know who else to tell honestly." I felt myself blushing. That's why we were really here.

"What oh my god! Did you call that guy again?"

"He came over," I covered my face and I heard Lexi have what I could only assume was a choking fit as I kept my eyes closed.

"Okay I need some backstory before I can process this, you said he was spying on you for your brother?"

"That's what I thought, but I don't know, he denied it. He denied it, and then he freaking kissed me." I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory of last night.

"You think I was spying on you for him?"

"It wouldn't be the first time he paid someone to keep an eye on me."

"Did he tell you I was just spying on you for him?" He asked, running his hands through is hair in frustration.

"Yes!"

"What?" He looked even more confused.

"Well basically."

"Basically?"

"I accused him of it and he had a smile that pretty much said everything." I said confidently pretending like that wasn't the most ridiculous sentence uttered.

"Oh right okay so you are insane. Got it. I will see myself out now." Anthony nodded and walked towards the window.

"I'm insane?" I nearly screamed, "You flew across the country and climbed into my bedroom window! I am the crazy one?"

"Yeah and it's even fucking crazier because all this time I could have been getting paid this whole time!"

At that I lost it and marched angrily right up to where he was leaning on my window sill.

As soon as I got close enough he reached out for my face and pulled me in, our lips collided and I froze in shock. I closed my eyes and melted into the warmth that flooded into my body at his touch.

"He kissed you!" She shouted.

"Keep your voice down," I hissed and looked around the empty coffee shop.

"Okay but that's actually so hot." 

"I know." I couldn't help the shy grin plastered on my face.

"Okay what if he is a spy who cares, he seems hot. He literally climbed the rusty death trap ladder for you." 

"He walked me home every night after we met. Or re-met." 

"Lydia." 

"And he spent the night after I found out my dad had a heart attack and helped me pack."

"Lydia."

"He rubbed my back until I fell asleep." 

"LYDIA." 

"And I may or may not have crawled onto the couch with him and we spooned all night and it was really fucking comfortable and he didn't try anything he just held me and dropped me off at the airport the next day."

"Okay. I am not going to say anything. Because you already know what I want to say. Because you feel the same way." 

"He's a good actor?"
"You should marry him." 

We both said at the same time.

"Lydia sometimes it's okay to trust people." Lexi sounded frustrated.

"Yeah well I just found out Felix has been paying the majority of my rent so that my roomates and I pay only a fraction and stay where he can track me." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah. So forgive me if it's a little hard to trust anyone right now. Especially someone who seems a little too good to be true." 

"That's... valid." Lexi said and stayed silent, slowly processing what I had said. 

"I don't know what to do." I said honestly.

I couldn't deny that Anthony had become a part of my life. Even if it was just the last month, I was living on my own, and he was with me almost every day. I didn't know what to believe. If he was one of Felix's spies or not, if I could forgive that or not. 

He was here for god's sake. He had come to our home town, I was curious to know why. I was curious to know why the hell he kissed me last night. Even if I enjoyed it. 

"I'm just gonna forget about it until I get back to New York. I am not unblocking him." I decided finally.

"Lydia, he didn't happen to be that guy from the party like a million years ago right?"

"Why?" I asked, detecting danger in her voice.

"Because he's here and he's staring right at you." 

dun dundunnnnnn

OOf sorry for the delay guys, I had a hell of a freaking summer camp. so stressful. but I am backk. 

How are we feeling?

Next chapter will probably be a lot more juicy. 

What do you think Lexi is hiding? 

What do you think is gonna happen when Anthony comes over?

See you next friday on, LOALS 3

I am going out of the country for the next two weeks but will be trying to update as regularly as possible. 

<3 ANNNAAA