I'M UNSURE where to start, but since she wasn't in lunch the next best thing i can do is look in her dorm.

i walk over to her wing and knock in the door. it's locked, so i knock again and it's no answer. there's no peep hole, so there's no way she's ignoring me.

i check the library next, and specifically the back corner room. i'm reminiscent on our past conversations in there, and how different we both used to be. or rather, how different i thought claire was. and how i was until she changed me.

no claire in the library though. i haven't seen her since friday night, so i wonder if she just recently didn't show up to any other classes. i walk out towards the lobby when i'm approached by someone.

"hey." its kyle.

i wonder how different things could have been if i just dated kyle instead of claire. if i sacrificed my sexuality, my identity, and my attraction all for acceptance. i'm kinda grateful i didn't though.

"hi." i answer back.

"i thought it was pretty brave of you, getting up there like that." he compliments, and im surprised.

this is the same kyle that not even a month ago practically told me i was insane for loving claire, and i didn't care. and i still don't.

"you're not gonna yell at me for following my heart, not gonna call me an idiot?" i question. it's not angry, i'm just conflicted by kyle's recent kindness now that i've been shunned out of the social group.

"i wasn't sure claire was the right fit for you. not that i am—" he defensively says.
"i watched everything go down between claire and sofia, and up until the end, i realized i picked the wrong side. i wanted you to be on the right side before you realized too late." he concludes.

"okay, well thank you, i guess. but now i don't even know where claire is." i say to him as we stand in the hallway.

"oh, people haven't seen her since like...friday...?"kyle states, which makes me even more worried.
"yeah that thunderstorm weather must have been bad to blow through." oh no.

"but you don't know where she went?" i ask him, begging for any intel on her location. 

i wonder if she saw that video, and knows that everyone here knows. i hope she's not hiding because she thinks i'd out her, but then again she may not be hiding at all. i just know i need to find her.

"uh, nope. i don't." he says. suddenly i see movement down the hall and see savannah miller-hoffman, one of claire's best friends.

which is also kinda weird, because i wonder how much they know about claire—the real claire.

"savannah, hey!" i call down to bring her closer to me. i walk up to her to speed up the process. she gives me an odd look.

"what do you want?" she says to me, attitude slurring out of every short word.

"i know that i don't really know you..."

"you know claire, i presume?" the attitude of this girl holy fuck.

"okay, look savannah, i'm not trying to be difficult or start anything with you, but i need to know where claire is. and i get i shook up the scene a little bit but just believe me when i say it's extremely necessary that i sort thing out; for everyone. and that starts with me talking to claire." i explain to her. i'm not irritated, i simply just want to be with her one last time at least.

"i mean, she hasn't been answering any texts, but she snapped me like a pic in front of the beach, but that's it."

the beach, that's it!

"okay, thank you!" i enthusiastically beam to sav.

i ditch the last two periods to borrow kris's car to drive to rhode island. i pull onto the highway and push hard to drive as fast as the speed limit allows.

two hours later when i roll up to the road of her grandmas beach house, i peel my eyes in order to look for a red car. there's no one in the driveway, but i see a 'for sale' sign outside before i roll onto the rocks of the ground.

that's not good.

i walk out to the bottom of the house to get a slight glance of the beach. it's not much of a sight, and i can't see anyone, so i walk up the stairs to arrive at the deck. except there's no one. i look out onto the gray beach and can't spot a soul. i turn to face the house as i rest my hands on the railing of the deck. it truly is a beautiful house.

i look inside to see it pretty packed up. i can't help but walk up to the front door. i press on the handle, but decide not to. what good is it if there's nobody inside?

as i turn to leave, my body can't help but jump at the sight of an old woman holding a stack of folded empty brown boxes.

"oh my god! i'm so sorry i swear i wasn't trying to do anything! i was just looking for claire blooms!" i defend as the old lady stares at me confused and probably ready to call the cops.

"blooms? claire blooms? that's mr granddaughter!" the woman says, and pretty proudly i might add.

"you're claire's grandma?" i ask, surprised but joyous.

"of course, but how'd you know where my house is?" she asks me still standing at the top of the stairs.

"claire brought me here once. it's a really beautiful house you have here." i point around to the gorgeous view. even in the dirty clouds of november, i'd still be perfectly pleased living here.

"thank you, she truly does love this house doesn't she." the woman says as she steps up so we face each other directly.

"yeah, it's hard to see that you're selling it, she said she was scared she would never come back." i say to the lady. she lets out a small laugh, and i'd think she was admiring claire's fondness for certain things.

"what's your name young lady, you seem very informed about my granddaughter." she asks with a smile on her face.

"i'm valeria—or val. i actually just transferred to claire's school this year from paris, and we got pretty close." have to test the waters with the older generations, but i think this explanation is pretty good.

"paris? wow. haven't been there in years. heck, even when i did go my husband and i stayed reserved to the same bar, believe it or not." i laugh to be polite, i think i like the woman. reminds me of claire, obviously. but also myself.

"la cave, i believe it was called. never really helped that i didn't know french though."

la cave...? also known as the disastrous bar i slipped my fate into this year? there's too many coincidences.

"oh i know la cave!" i say to claire's grandma. then as soon as i do i realize the correlation that i'm underage and talking about a fucking bar.

"you drink?" she asks me suspicious.

"oh—no, my parents just uh...went there often." i try to play off.

"ah, that's too bad. would have made you a drink!"

i think i like this woman more than claire. (kidding, but she seems interesting.)

"can i still fix you something inside? i don't think it was a coincidence that you and i ran into each other here." she suggests. i comply, and she walks me inside to the empty house.

"sorry about the lack of, y'know furniture." she says while heading to the open kitchen and reaching into the mini fridge. she pours out a bottle of water into a cool glass and sets it on the breakfast bar which i lean against.

"so claire, school?" she asks once i take a sip.

"mhm." i answer back sipping on the cool liquid.
"we actually sorta got off on the wrong foot. her ex best friend was my roommate-turned-best friend, but we kinda didn't care. and that's in the past now anyway." i over share, which i hate to do. i don't typically share that genre of information with strangers, but this woman seems so comforting.

"are you referring to a girl with that curly dark hair, pretty tan skin? uh—sophie, or something." the woman says.

"yeah, sofia. she's nice it was just messy." i answer to her.

"i never really knew why she stopped coming around. claire seemed to really like her. you'd think they were dating, the two." her grandma says smiling as she gazes out at the beach. i try to laugh it off, it's just too ironic.
"i wouldn't care if they were, just surprised at how she just disappeared—sofia." she adds, confirming her comfort.

"yeah, some things just happen and you don't know why." i try to add to the conversation, but can't help thinking back on claire's past loves.

then it draws me back to her once again.

"do you happen to know where claire is?" i ask her.

"gee, i thought you would know," she laughs at herself.
"but i don't, i would presume with you at school." she responds without helping my case.

"i thought she was, but i couldn't find her there. some stuff kinda went down, and i needed to talk to her." i say to her.

"well what kind of stuff, maybe i can help you solve your mystery?" she pokes.

"i don't know if you'd want—or even be interested." reminder; i just met this woman.

"sure, i get it. you don't really know me, just claire." the woman says as she backs away from the counter. except then she walks towards me, and stands just a foot away.
"but if i had to give you some advice, since it seems you really know claire, it'd be that it's okay to put your heart in the hands of someone else, just a few times, valeria." the woman smiles at me with her eyes, and i thank her for her advice.

as i say my farewell and get into the car, i realize that it's okay to let things happen on their own. i'm not running away anymore, but i'm also not demanding for all my problems to be solved just like that.

i wave goodbye to grandma blooms as i pull out of the driveway and go back to the place where it first started; back to the school.

/////////////////////////////:
yo claire wya

don't worryyyy valclaire interaction next chapter hehehehe

opinions?