Chapter 5: Lost



He goes back to his normal routine. He doesn't know why, but his last visit to Arthit's Facebook profile snapped Kongpob back to reality. He's a freshman university student that needs to prove that he is something worthy, not a prince of a merperson that needs some help.


Sitting between Oak and M, he tries to concentrate on the lecture. But as his professor talks about the equations of fluid motion, he feels as if someone's staring at him. He looks around the room, but everyone's trying so hard to grasp how Bernoulli's equation works to even stare at him. That's when he checks outside the window and finally sees the cause of his strange feeling.


At the other building across theirs, the head hazer, Knot, is looking at him straight. Kongpob figures Prem might have told him about his questions regarding Arthit. Uncomfortable of the continued staring, Kongpob rearranges himself in his seat.


He tries to go back to listening to the lecture, which he successfully does for a few minutes. When he remembers Knot, he's not outside the window anymore.


Kongpob had decided not to mind the Arthit business anymore, but his curiosity got awakened by Knot.


That's why he's now standing right in front of his hazers, demanding Knot to talk to him in private.


"And why would Knot come with you?" Prem says, shaping him up.


"You can go now, Nong," Bright says, more of an instruction.


He keeps standing still.


"Nong Kong, please," Tutah says, while giving a worried look at Knot.


Kongpob notices how Knot's face is different now, far from the stern face he had when he was hazing them. Understanding that the seniors don't want to talk to him, he starts to step back.


But that's when Knot stands up. "You wanna talk? Let's talk."


"Knot," Prem calls his name.


"It's okay. I'll be back."


They leave Knot's friends at the study table and walk towards the grandstand. Kongpob glances back at them, and they all wear worried faces.


There's this uncomfortable silence between Knot and Kongpob until they get the view of the bleachers.


"How did you know Arthit?" Knot breaks the silence.


Kongpob already planned for this. Keeping on saying that he doesn't know him will surely lead him to no answers.


"He's my senior back in high school."


Knot nods, easily accepting his answer.


"What happened to him, P'Knot?" Kongpob actually knows what happened to him; he's now half-fish, but he needs to know what caused it and why his friends are keeping it from him.


He looks at Knot's face, which now shows more softness than ever. Knot's eyes are starting to shine because of his tears, and Kongpob starts to feel guilty of bringing this side of his head hazer.


"P'Knot, I'm sorry, if you do not want to share your secret, I won't—"


"What secret?"


"Your secret about P'Arthit."


Knot takes a deep breath. "What happened to Arthit isn't a secret." Knot's brows furrow, obvious that he's trying to control his emotions. "Everyone knows we lost our friend."


A single tear escapes Knot's eye, which he apologizes for.


Kongpob stands there, dumbfounded by Knot's answer.


He got an answer, but he still doesn't understand. Everyone thinks that Arthit is gone. Does "lost" mean "dead?" They think he's dead?


It seems like he knows more than everyone. They are the ones that should ask him questions.


"Come," Knot says as he turns around and takes steps back to the direction they came from.


Kongpob follows him absentmindedly. During their walk, Knot asks him questions about how Arthit was as a senior in high school. It's also when he discovers that Knot is Arthit's best friend.


Kongpob really feels guilty, but he can't stop now. He tells Knot about how Arthit was a helpful senior and how Arthit inspired him to take Engineering in college.


With that, Knot smiles. And Kongpob's guilt intensifies.


Telling lies made Kongpob unaware of where their steps are taking them. He repeatedly blinks upon realizing they're now at the door of the university's library. He looks at Knot, who just nods at him, signaling him to get in.


Knot leads him to the archives of the university publication. Kongpob watches the other as he browses through the archives of the year 2014.


"Do you have your ID with you?" Knot asks him.


"Yes, P'."


"Here," Knot says as he hands two issues of the publication to Kongpob. "I need to go now. I hope you find your answers there."


Kongpob isn't able to thank him or at least give any response because Knot swiftly gets out of the library, wiping something from his face as he walks out.


He takes a look at one of the papers Knot handed him. The large headline says something about the university's founding day, but that's not what grabs Kongpob's attention. What does is a small picture of Arthit in his freshman uniform.


Kongpob feels like drowning in those eyes again.


Above the picture is a headline of the article:




Rescuers halt search and retrieval operation for Rojnapat's body









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