So tonight was the last night of my schools musical.  It's the last show of the year and all the seniors go up at the cast party and give a speech.  Most people cried and gave heart felt messages about how they all are gonna miss being apart of something so great.  

This all made me realize that I only have one more year of this until that's me giving the speech.  One more year until I'm the one saying how much I'm going to miss these people, I realized that camp will be the beginning of the ends and goodbyes.  This is my last year to be a camper at Summer camp, then my last year of high school, my last year in youth group.  I;m not in the slightest bit prepared for what is to come.  But I know that God's got my back.   

I know I have friends in my corner even when I feel so alone and unwanted by anyone.  

I'm sitting in my bed right now, it's waayyyy too early in the morning but I didn't sleep because of the cast party' listening to the sound of the rain hitting my roof accompanied by the sound of me typing faster than my hands can hit the keys leaving lots of mistakes that I'll have to go back in and fix.  This is my favorite kind of night.  It's not 4 a.m. and I've been up since 8 a.m. The rain is my favorite sound against my roof.  I particularly enjoy Thunderstorms in the Summer time.  Oh how I can't wait for the spring.  Everything is alive again and it's warm out, people are waking up from their seasonal depression.  It's my favorite time of change.  

Winter is coming to an end, every year I hate it and love it at the same time.  This year didn't seem as cold as other years, but I stayed inside more this year.  

"Pitter Patter"  is the sound the rain is making, it's making me happy.  I love where live right now, I love the space these is to take walks and to run and to just enjoy the beauty of nature.  I never want to leave this beautiful place.  But we've outgrown this house and have talked about moving to another house.  I grew up in this house, I couldn't imagine living anywhere else when I really thing about it.  Yeah having my own room would be nice, but I'd rather share a room with a slob of a sister than be in a five bedroom town house with a 5" by 5" yard.   

I'll be going off to college in little over a year I'm terrified.  I have no idea where I want to go, what I want to be, I'm clueless.  I'm not ready to go out into the "real world" and become a functioning adult in society.  Next election I'll be able to vote and I'm excited about that.  These last few years flew by so friggen fast I don't really know what happened to them.  

I'm going to stand up tall and be ready for anything life throws at me next, I will face it with poise and grace.  I will be the master of my own life and I will not let fear or sadness dictate it.  I am in control.  If I need something, I'm going to get it.  Get out of my comfort zone and beyond.  I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength.  I can handle whatever life throws at me if i remember that.