Today is november 4, 2019.

I'm in my stepfather's house.

I can smell the burning ashes from the cigarettes he sticks in his mouth.

I can see the vodka spilled all over the kitchen floor.

And it's mixed with gas. Next to a lighted cigarette.

I hope Daisy won't lick it.

I try to keep her safe from all the midsommar madness happening in this household.

I pick up the cigarette and put in my mouth. It isn't mine but I really do need a cigarette.

I go upstairs to my room to call Finn. My best friend who I met since birth. I know mom misses him and his mom.

Oh how I wish she's here right now. Her red nail polish smelling across the hallway with dad behind her back, kissing her neck and brushing his fingers down her arm.

Their love was so flawless and perfect. Perfect as ice cream is being served to the bride. So beautiful and elegant. She was also a coney island queen. She was loved by everyone.

She aged delegantly. The way her diamond necklace would shine from the burning sun. But she was used to the sun, her skin would glow and boys would bow.
Reasons to why I enjoy listening to Lana Del Rey with her. It's like living with the queen of sadness. It's too good to be true if Lana was my mother but it still happened. They shared the same lifestyle. The way she would be free as the wind.

She belonged to nobody. She belonged to everybody.

authors note;
i know it sucks to have a note in the middle but if u get the lines above i will marry u

She would brush my hair every night, singing lullabies from songs that made her confident and independent.

She's truly a fucking angel.

But her lover was gone. Not manipulated to a girl but gone.
His pouring red milk from his head kept going on and on.

Mom was lost in her emotions. I didn't know what to do.

I called up Finn in my phone because I miss him.

"Hey Finn"
      "Oh hey, Y/n. What's up? "
          "The ceiling."
    "Terrible. Why'd you call? "
             "I missed you and I thought about mom again."
      "Is that so? You miss me?"
         "Past tense. Missed."
              "Do you still miss me?"
     "No."
                                       "Why no?"
"Because I'm already here. Talking to you, dingus"

I smile with the phone on my face. He makes me smile every minute of my life.

He always calls me a 2.0 of my mom because "I'm so perfect".
That's not true. Some underestimated me because I'm so ugly compared to my mother.

I didn't care about it but since I'm growing. I became insecure about myself. Some calls me a slut. Some calls me a sugar baby.

No matter how much I miss my parents, my father's love will always be strong and my mother's glamour will still live on and on.

"Are you okay? There was a silence, I figured you died"
  "Yeah, I'm fine."
   "Hey it's okay. I'm here for you"
"Can you come over?"
      "Sure, anything for you"

I smiled once again. He never fails to make me happy. His presence makes me whole and his personality which makes me high everytime, making me feel good.

The doorbell rang. I think it's Finn. I'm always sure it's him since he's the only one who comes to my house.

I ran downstairs to open the door and grabbed his hand running back upstairs to avoid my step-dad to interrupt us.

I locked the door and jumped on the bed. I move my head to see the painting I've been working hard on.

"Hey, is that what you've been meaning to show me?" he sat on the bed with his bottled water.

"Yeah. It's not done yet" I cover it with my body while blocking him. "it's missing something special" I think then grabbed a brush with maroon paint.

"Life imitates art" I whispered then smiled. "There. It's done now" I get the painted canvas and handed it to Finn.

"Look it's mom" He smiles at the painting then grabs my hand. He then kisses it. Then cups my face.

"What the fuck are you doing Wolfhard?" I ask with my eyebrows furrowed.

"I've been waiting to this for a while" he connects our lips together. Something I've never done. He tasted like strawberry and cigarettes.

"Oh, fuck you wolfhard. I don't know about love"