Haru's POV

I curiously watch as Ai nervously informs Rin of the opening, just in a more frightening way.

Things like:

"It's going to be horrible!"

"We have to be in school for a whole other year!"

"How are we going to focus when we have Iwatobis in the same class as us?!"

It actually got to the point where he said,

"Rin-senpai, we're all going to die!"

I could envision a chibi version of Rin face-palming as he scratched his head in response, reassuring Ai that it would be okay.

After a few more freak-out sessions with Ai and Rin, the little white-haired boy ran off back inside the building, praising Rin.

Rin turned around to face me, smiling awkwardly.

"I'm sorry that you had to witness that," he looked away, shifting his weight between his legs as he put his hands in his pockets.

"It's fine." I look away too, trying not to look too happy that Rin and I were alone.

Wait. I was happy because Rin and I were alone? Together?

I mentally slapped myself in the face.

What was wrong with me?

Rin must have noticed the distorted expression on my face, because he was looking at me in concern, asking, "You okay?"

A blush rose to my face, and I looked at my shoes, replying, "Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

Dammit.

Already, I was becoming a blushing wreck.

But why?!

I needed to ask Makoto.

Speaking of Makoto, where was he?

I looked around for him, but he wasn't in sight.

But I swear I caught a small tuft of forest green hair in the background.

With all the greenery, it was hard to spot him-

"Haru?"

I jump, swiveling around to face him, and he manages to pull off a gentle glare, his hands on his hips.

A smile came across his face at my reaction, and I blushed a little, looking away with a small scowl on my face.

"You haven't changed at all," he simply comments, causing myself to make an annoyed sound as I sat down in the grass.

To my pleasure, he sat down as well, and we both ended up looking up at the sky again.

It was relaxing to watch the fluffy clouds float by.

I resisted the temptation to scoot closer to Rin, as I looked to my side to watch his tranquil expression, his eyes reflecting the beautiful sky.

I realized he was looking at me too, causing my mouth to open in surprise.

He grinned.

I blushed even more.

He looked back up at the sky.

I looked back up at the sky too.

I liked it.

"It's nice seeing you guys again," he offers, his voice dissipating into the air.

I manage to nod, and he looks at me.

"Sorry about Sousuke."

"It's okay," my voice comes out small, causing myself to become more self-conscious.

"He can be a pain sometimes, since he thinks of you guys differently than I do." He laughs heartily, his melodic voice sweet to my ears.

I swallow in the giddiness that ran through me.

Shit, I really needed to talk to Makoto.

But I enjoyed being alone with Rin here.

I wanted it to last.

But as soon as the giddiness came, it was replaced by a sinking feeling.

It hit me, realizing that Rin probably didn't feel the same way about the situation.

I sit up, looking away.

He sits up too, looking at me in concern.

"Haru... Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern.

I nod, not daring to look at him.

He silently looks back down at his hands, his eyes cloudy and unreadable.

"Sorry." I stand up, looking up at the sky quietly.

"Sorry for what?" His voice is quiet as well.

"That I took it out on you."

"Took what out on me?" He sounded genuinely confused at this point.

"If I wasn't here, then Sousuke wouldn't be so worried about you. It's my fault that I'm causing disruption with your friends," I explain thoroughly, and he quickly interjects, "It's not your fault, Haru, Sousuke's just being a-"

I held up one finger to stop him, looking at him straight in the eye.

But I faltered a bit at the sight I saw.

He looked frightened.

He looked scared.

He looked desperate.

Frightened because he didn't know what to do about the situation.

Scared because he didn't know how I truly felt about the situation.

Desperate because he wanted it to last.

Our friendship to last.

His eyes shook, wide with fear, his lip quivering.

I waited, my expression expressionless.

He then looked down, his fist clenching and unclenching.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out between us. I'm sorry that this can't work out. But I just... I just want to let you know that I'm really sorry that I left you, and that I regret it-"

He looks up to see my tears.

He stops.

I stop.

He stares.

I look away.

Dammit.

He watches.

My legs feel weak.

His eyes become blurred.

I back away.

He watches.

I turn.

He watches.

I run.

He watches in silence.

I keep running.

The wind takes me away.

Away from him.

Away from reality.

I collapse in the grass.

I cover my face with my hands.

I hug my knees.

I can't do anything about it.

It's over.

It's over.

"Haru!" I hear Makoto's voice behind me.

"Haru!!" His voice raises with concern as he approaches me.

I quickly wipe the tears away, regaining my composure.

I slowly stand up, turning around to face him.

He stops, staring at me with deep worry.

"Haru, are you okay?" His eyes are filled with caution, his usual smile a frown.

I can't help but shake my head.

I can't resist Makoto's caring nature.

"What's wrong?" He asks quietly, his voice soft as he hugs me, patting my back with affection.

"Rin," I manage to choke out, through my tears as I hug him back in silence.

The cherry blossom trees shed leaves as a gust of wind blows through, surrounding us with a beautiful swirl of pink.

"Rin?" He lets go of me, looking at me with confusion, and I hastily wipe my face, a small blush from the attention he was giving me.

"I just haven't seen him in a while, and when I finally did, I felt like he didn't appreciate my company."

I look down at my shoes, the blades of grass rustling against my ankles.

"Oh, Haru... I'm sure that Rin didn't mean it like that, I'm sure that he enjoyed talking with you- I could see the pleasure on his face as he watched you look up at the sky, even behind the bushes."

I looked up at Makoto in surprise, slowly asking, "He... Liked my company?"

He nods, smiling warmly, and I reply, blushing, "I must have not noticed then..."

"They say that 'one who falls in love never notices the signs that their lover is giving them in a relationship'."

Makoto and I swivel around to face Miho, a gentle smile on her face as she clutched her purse, holding her umbrella over her head.

"Miho-sensei!" We both chime in surprise, and she adds wisely, "Never reject signs of help from a fellow friend."

We bow, and she waves us off in response, replying, "No need to praise me. Do what you think is right, whatever your heart tells you to do. Trust your gut, no matter the circumstances."

Her words echo in my head, and Rin's desperate gaze flashes back in my head.

"I have to talk to Rin."

—-

Journal Entry #28

Makoto

It hurt to hear Haru talk about Rin, and how he missed him so much.

It was obvious that he had feelings for the red-haired male, and everyone just smiled as they listened to him talk about the fond memories that him and Rin had shared together.

I died inside whenever Haru's eyes lit up at the sight of Rin's presence.

I died inside whenever Haru would run from me to talk to Rin.

A sinking feeling would always go through me, as these signs showed that Haru loved Rin, and not me.

I would always be just a friend to Haru.

There was nothing I could do about it.

I always had smiled it off, or changed the subject.

I was supposed to be strong for the others.

I wasn't supposed to be weak.

The others relied on me.

They thrived in me.

I couldn't let these silly feelings of love take over my ambitions.

But yet, it hurt so much inside that I would cry at night, after I tucked Ren and Ran in their beds.

I felt awful.

I wanted to die.

I didn't want anyone to know about my feelings towards Haru.

I don't want anyone to know about my true feelings.

I can't let anyone figure out.

In reality, I don't have anyone to confide in.

All I can do is be strong for the others, while I die inside.

I'm sorry that you have to read this.

I'm sorry that I couldn't help but express my thoughts in this.

I just need to get this off my back...

-Makoto