[Creds to MNTines for the title of this chapter]

This time, my blood runs cold. It takes me a small amount of time to respond, a hesitation if you will, but it must be enough to heighten her suspicions of my Divergence.

"What on Earth are you talking about, J- Ms. Matthews?" I say, forcing out a short sound of supposed amusement before speaking.

She moves her attention back to the computer screen, swiftly tapping on both it and the keypad, replying to me only a short time after, but all while keeping her attention on the screen.

"I do believe you are aware of what the word means and how it applies to you."

Her rude manner of speaking without actually looking seemed like it would lessen the blow of whatever she said, but I was sorely mistaken; her words left me feeling hollow inside, as though somehow knowing I am Divergent divulges every aspect of my being... But perhaps it does and I just know too little about what the term truly means.

"I honestly do not know what you mean," I reply. The words come out confident with a tone that suggests her accusation is most definitely false. I surprise myself with what I say and how I say it since I thought I had given up hope and surrendered to her the moment she spoke those words.

"Your resistance in speaking the truth is futile, although I do admire it to a certain extent," She says. I feel helpless, and all she is doing is using a computer while she speaks...

I decide to try a different approach and ask her, "If you truly believe I am Divergent, what proof do you have to consider me as such?"

A faint smile appears on her face as she makes the last final taps on the computer. She faces me once she is done, and there is a shimmer of amusement in her eyes; I can't help but feel aggravated by her knowledge that she has complete power over me, and this time, we both know it.

"Your demeanor over these past few weeks has said it all," Jeanine says simply, but I know she'll elaborate just so I can understand her entire reasoning behind her inference.

"From the very beginning I established self-consciously that you did not belong in Erudite. The second I saw you, I hoped you would make the right choice to stay in Amity, but you made a bold and utterly foolish decision coming here.

I had faith you would assimilate during initiation, much like other transfers, but you did a poorer job at it than most. I do remember a time when George told me you had gone to take a test early, I believe, and that did bring my standards up... A bit. Your mask failed to conceal your true identity when that little incident happened. If you hadn't rushed me off to the hospital sector yourself, I probably would have been satisfied in your outward appearance, but in that moment it was clear you were not Erudite or even an unadulterated Amity.

You proved your Divergence to me during your period with Winter even more evidently. You showed characteristics of Abnegation, Dauntless, and Amity when she was in danger, but also when you two were alone.

I know everything that happened between the two of you, and no I do not feel jealousy of any sort. I am not the person I made myself out to be," She finishes with a small contempt smile. I am stunned beyond words and I notice my mouth has opened slightly. There's no use in lying anymore- I'm sure it'll be worse if I do. But what on Earth can I say to something like that? She was right? Please don't kill me?

She surveys my face for a moment then comes closer to me and straightens a bit. I look up at her, but I don't feel intimidated. It's over, but I might as well go with dignity, if it's even possible at this point...

"Have you ever wondered why you never took the final test?" Jeanine asks me. I furrow my brow and break eye contact, then back away from her. "What?"

"Don't you remember that Erudite boy you so rudely interrupted? What was his name? Ah, I don't believe you ever caught it, but can't you remember the sixth test?" She says with a sinister smile. Oh no..

"Are you trying to tell me..." I start uncertain but know the answer before she says it.

"This isn't real," She replies almost sympathetically with a knit of her brow. My pulse shoots up as I suddenly feel the dream-like state of the sim surrounding me. Jeanine begins to disappear and I seem to be falling from the floor of what use to be her office, into a dark abyss. I know it is not real, but the fear is, and I don't know how to wake up.

As soon as there is nothing left to see, I jolt awake. I gasp for air, and already feel the sweat all over my body. At first I don't recognize the environment, but after a moment, I realize it is a lab that I had only seen once before, and that was to go in. It wasn't in my sim, although I'm not sure if that really means anything. The room is rather small, but well lit, and it doesn't necessarily earn the description of being cramped.

I turn and nearly let out an audible gasp as I see the person who was witnessing my simulation. I half thought Jeanine would be sitting there, ready to execute me on the spot, but it's not her. I don't know whether to be relieved or what. I don't even know what emotion to feel right now.

They look up at me from their tablet, placing it on the table in front of them which holds a series of computers and screens; I cannot see if anything is currently on them. I'm certain one must have contained a heart rate, another the time, and one most definitely had the sim's display. My memory is failing to recollect anything else that could have been on them, but either way, it probably isn't helping me right now.

"Most of what you experienced wasn't real. Part of your simulation contained memories, but that was only a small percentage. I'm certain you are a bit disoriented, so I will try to answer any questions you may have."

I ponder on my experience in the sim and begin to remember what's real and what isn't. Nothing really happened with Jeanine except for a few brief instances when she might have instructed me to do something or relay a message. Just as I thought of that, I noticed that I didn't have the tubes connecting to my nose anymore. That wasn't real. Thank god, but it makes me nostalgic in the way one wishes a dream was a reality despite all the bad things that happened in it.

"How do I know you?" I ask after a while. I have sorted out most of the sim from reality, but I still can't establish a correct connection between them and I.

After I ask the question, they come out from behind the desk and stand directly in front of me. My heart begins to pound as I await what will happen next. For all I know, they could have a gun.

"Sage," Winter says softly, and suddenly I remember my connection to her.

I embrace her tightly and she returns it with even more vigor. It did truly feel like she died during the simulation, but that's not why the hug is so tight.

"How long do I have?" I ask her quietly. She releases me and appears to try to keep a straight face, but she begins crying, though not sobbing. I'm taken aback by her loss of self control. The Winter in my sim was much like her now, but before the simulation, Winter was practically the opposite of my imagined version of her.

"Not very long," A familiar cool voice says from the doorway. I turn to see Jeanine, but she's alone; I expected her to have guards with her or at least lab assistants, but it only appears to be her. I look back at Winter; her tears have slowed, but she doesn't bother to wipe them away, almost as though she's forgotten they're even there. She runs a hand over what she can of her pinned up hair that's in a messy bun, and straightens out her shirt out of habit.

I turn back to Jeanine, and she appears to be waiting for me to go with her, but I can't seem to find the will to move my legs.

"Jeanine, please," Winter nearly begs. A twinge of pity went through me at the sound of her voice in that state. It wasn't exactly desperate, but it was quite close to being it.

"You'll see her again, I can promise you that, Winter. And no different than the state she is in now," Jeanine says almost placidly, reminding me of Johanna during the few times I heard her speak.

I sneak a look at Winter, and she seems convinced, more or less. I didn't really get to see Winter and Jeanine interact too much before the sim except for a few brief moments when they must have exchanged words about the tests or something like that. They must trust each other somewhat, or at least Winter does...

Maybe Winter really is her right hand woman. I don't remember Jeanine ever saying anything like that, but maybe the idea in the sim came from somewhere...

Winter suddenly seems to remember the tears still present on her cheeks, and she wipes them away before saying alright. I'm not sure why she would trust Jeanine, since from what I have been able to tell, she's bent on the extermination of Divergence. Perhaps the two of them are closer than they appear, and she'll only conduct tests...

"It won't be too long," Jeanine reassures lightly. She turns, and I know I am expected to follow, but before I do, I steal one last look at Winter; she looks small, but she does try to give an encouraging smile.

"It'll be fine," Winter says calmly. 

~