EMILY'S POV

It's been a month and I'm still at the same state as before. I still drink and smoke regularly, but I stopped the cutting. The scars are still there, reminding me of that day.

I've been hanging out with Josh a lot lately, he's gave me these great pills that make you feel relaxed and all I do is sleep. We're not really friends but more of friends with benefits. We've had sex a couple times but I've always been drunk or high, it's not the same if you don't love the person. It's not the same.

School started back up but I haven't went back since before break. It's been about a month, probably more.

I give up, I don't care anymore. I figured I'll go today, get my work that I missed even though I'll never do it.

I put on jeans and a sweatshirt, throwing my hair up in a bun. I'm high but I still drive, I've gotten used to it.

All of my teachers look at me, surprised but don't say anything.

The bell to my sixth hour just rung, I'm sitting in the back in an empty table. There's no more spots left and there's still one person gone, Alex.

This is the only class I had with him and he's gone, thank goodness.

Speak of the devil, the door opens but I keep looking down, doodling on my paper.

I feel the chair next to me move and the warmth of a body next to me. I don't have to look up to know it's him, I still get the same feelings.

He doesn't say anything but he pushes a letter over to me, I snatch it without looking at him and stand up. There's twenty more minutes but I'm not doing it. I walk out and go to my car and leave.

I go to the house josh stays at and buy a baggy of pills. They say don't take over five so I speed home and take the whole baggy, about twelve.

I'm done. I don't want to feel anything anymore so I'm giving up, for good.

I read the note, it said "I still love you" and that's it.

I rip it up and start to daze off, I lay down on my bed, this is the last thing I'll remember. Then blackness hits me.

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I open my eyes and regret it, white is blinding me. It's everywhere, and there's a loud annoying beep every few seconds. I feel too weak to keep my eyes open so I drift back off.

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ALEX'S POV
The same day, Friday, 8 at night

Emily has only woke up once and she passed out instantly after. The doctors say she should be up anytime now, it just depends when her body is ready.

I told Tyler she left halfway through the hour and he was the one who found her, he said she was just laying on her bed passed out and cold but he could tell something was wrong, she was unresponsive.

She still isn't responding, they pumped her stomach so she wouldn't die from the overdose. I wish I could explain to her it wasn't a bet, not all off it. The feelings were real, I couldn't fake those feelings. I love her.

The machines start beeping like crazy and she starts to sit up. A nurse comes in and she wakes up, she looks around and all I can see is hurt on her face.

"Out! I want everyone out!" She try's to yell but she's weak and it barely comes out.

The nurse listens to her and pushes us all out even Lisa, their mom.

"Go sit in the waiting room. If she still doesn't want company in a while I'll let you know but for right now she's in the ICU and getting her stable is the only thing we can focus on." The nurse says before leaving us in the hallway.
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EMILY'S POV

I wake up and the machines are going crazy, it makes my head pound. I look around and Tyler, Mom, and Alex are all in here staring at me. I don't want any of them in here, none of them.

"Out! I want everyone out!" I yell and thankfully the nurse abides my wishes and kicks them out.

I'm alive? Why? This wasn't supposed to happen.

After kicking them out the nurse comes back in. "Do you need anything?" She asks.

"What happened? Didn't the pills work?" I ask.

She sighs a little and takes a moment to think, "They worked, your brother found you and knew something was wrong. We pumped your stomach in time to save you."

I just nod, I don't want to argue with her and she leaves.

I look around the room, read the boards. They put me on a 72 hour hold. This isn't good. I have to stay the next 3 days without any chance of leaving and then after that they pick what will happen.

I search for my phone but it's no where to be found and I'm guessing it's supposed to be that way. I'm probably not allowed to have it. I still don't want to talk to anyone so I go to sleep.

*****************
Next Day

The nurses and doctors woke me up every couple of hours, they don't really let me sleep and I'm getting tired of it. They told me I can stop all the medications late afternoon today which is a relief then they'll stop bothering me in the night.

There's a knock on the door and a woman in a nice dressy outfit comes in.

"Hi, I'm Eleanor and I'm a therapist, I know you probably don't want to speak to me but the faster we can figure things out the faster you can go home." She says and pulls up a chair next to me.

"Ok," is all I say and let her continue. I sit up straight in the bed so I can look at her.

She asks a bunch of questions and I explain to her, it wasn't just the breakup that made this happen it's my depression. I've handled it before and I've done this all before it's just worse this time. I know how to handle it though.

After about another hour of questions and answers she's got the answers she's wanted. I told her I'm against pills I don't want an antidepressant I want to do it naturally so if I want to go back home and all that I'll go see a therapist, once a week for a month just to see how I like it. I agree, as long as I get to leave soon.

She told me to stop living in fear, as we very much know today could be my last day, say what you want and I should put my problems aside that I have with Alex. I agree.

She explained things to my mom, who just doesn't seem to understand. She thinks I was just some teenager over exaggerating a break up but it was more than that. She's never been good at understanding though that's why I never told her the first time.

I wait for them to unhook me from the machines and then I shower and put on normal clothes instead of the hospital gown. I throw on sweats and a shirt. I throw my hair up in a bun and tell the nurse that Alex can come in.

Eleanor and I practiced this, I'll let him say what he wants and I'll listen, try to understand, and then tell him how I feel. Without crying hopefully.

He walks in, he looks horrible, not bad but exhausted and like he hasn't slept in forever. He's in the same  clothes as last night, I think he just slept in the waiting room.

He has stubble and dark circles under his eyes, his hair is messy and I feel awful but I never asked him to stay. I would've done the same for him, I don't know why I still love him.

"You wanted me?" He asks standing in he middle of the room.

I'm sitting up criss cross in the hospital bed and I point to the chair next to the bed.

"Explain, talk, whatever you want to tell me do it now, clear the air this might be the only time you get." I say and he sits in the chair and I cam see the hope in his eyes.

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I know I haven't updated in forever and I really have no excuse. I'm back into writing again and I'm hoping to post another chapter this week.

Please comment or vote for this chapter so I still know people are reading so I know to actually kept writing!

Xox.

- crazy_writer_2013