Sungyeol POV

From the very first time I joined this Infinite band, I knew I have to work really hard. I auditioned on Woollim showing all sort of talent I had. The CEO went as far as scolded me not to sing anymore. But then he went and made me an Idol which the job was to sing and dance. Well I knew there was nothing impossible so I embraced this opportunity readily. But as I stated before, it was hard, really really hard. There were a lot of time when I felt so pressed and I tried to skip my training or even went home. But I always came back here. I couldn't just leave the other member. I have to accept that sometimes, scratch that, just sometimes, I acted like a spoiled little brat, thus I kept changing my decision. But I decided, in the end I would always be Infinite Sungyeol.

As loud as I am I realized that I tend to act shy around new people. It was hard for me to build a close relationship with the other member at first. But I always felt grateful that the other member welcome me in the end (not really at first, but after they decided to accept me, they accepted me like nobody ever did). It was just natural that Sungjong was my very first close friend here. We both joined late and he was always that easy to approach. He was our group maknae, so it was just natural that every member has soft spot for him. Even me, and I decided to show him in my very elegant way, that world was not unicorn and rainbow. As maknae as he was, I knew that Sungjong had the best observation among us. And he knew. He always knew what was going on in Infinite, even when nobody told him anything. That was why he would always give me his opinion, even when I didn't tell him anything. I always felt thankful for that, because sometimes I felt like I couldn't relay my problem through word but I knew I need his opinion.

Sunggyu hyung was the type of conservative man. He was really really hard to approach but when you were considered his friend, he would be the first one who supported you, who encouraged you, who believed in you. You know, like if you were bullied, he was the type that punched the one who bullied you even without your knowledge. He didn't consider me as his friend readily the first time I had join, but he warmed up to the idea slowly, and I knew now he treasure me as much as other members. I knew Hoya was awkward. And it didn't work well with me, the end of story. Maybe we were not the best of friend in Infinite, but I always idolized him. He held such a big impact in Infinite. And I knew how he always worked really really hard in everything. I admired him for that. He was not multi talent. He didn't have all that talent of his from above. I knew he worked on it continuously, diligently until the talent became his own. And I always hope that I could be a little like him.

Woohyun hyung and Dongwoo hyung would always be the easiest to approach. Woohyun hyung was the kind of man you felt that you could rely on, in any given situation and condition. He gave the "old friend" vibe. That was why I felt so surprised when he confessed his feeling to me. Well, maybe not really. Despite what Woohyun hyung believe, he was actually easy to read. I knew he liked me a little bit better than any other members, but I thought he always liked Sunggyu hyung better than me. Somehow I felt guilty when he confessed, because I already in relationship with Dongwoo hyung, and I never told him. But eventually we get over it, rather quickly I may add, considering it was Woohyun and being Woohyun's friend was always easy. And Dongwoo hyung, I thought he was the manifestation of angel. Who could argue that? That was why it shaken me pretty bad witnessing Dongwoo hyung being angry, at me nonetheless. But then he was back to being an angel that he was. And it charmed me like a spell. I liked him the best and I still did. I always felt guilty realizing that our relationship have to come to an end because of me. But like the angel that he was, he always made me sure that it was not my fault. And I believed Dongwoo hyung was the only one who could make me actually believe that our broken relationship was not anybody's fault.

And then there were Kim Myungsoo, my best friend, my best rival, and my best partner. I dared to say that our friendship was something that nothing could stop. It was just felt right and natural like two pieces of puzzle that belong to each other. As easy as being Woohyun's hyung friend, it was easier being Myungsoo's friend. It was not because Myungsoo was that type of people who was easy to befriend. It was just the fact that he was Kim Myungsoo and I am Lee Sungyeol. It was like we were just fated to be beside each other. He was always there being my friend that I didn't realize what my feeling actually were for him. I told him about everything, even my feeling for Dongwoo hyung. He was the one and only people I told about my feeling (even though I knew Sungjong would know too, whatever he did to know, he knew). Maybe I didn't tell him when exactly I and Dongwoo hyung became a couple officially, I thought he would ask or he would know eventually, given the fact that he knew about my feeling.

It just happened out of nowhere with him. I would see his smile and my heart would beat faster. He would touch me and I felt electricity from his touch. He would talk about anything and nothing and I hope he would never stop. I felt so confused and guilty because I was with Dongwoo hyung already. I didn't understand why I would feel like this to Myungsoo when I am in relationship happily. It just didn't fair to Dongwoo hyung and to Myungsoo too. So I decided to keep it to myself. But then Dongwoo hyung called me and I knew that he knew and we decided to break our relationship. He assured me over and over that it was for the best. And I knew it was. Because I knew I couldn't lie to Dongwoo hyung forever. But it didn't mean I could go and told Myungsoo about my feeling the very next day. I still felt guilty, and besides, it was not easy to reveal our feeling right? Time had fly as I let my feeling float in the air. It was not that easy to suddenly separate from Dongwoo hyung after a lot of time we had together, moreover we couldn't stay away from each other being a band mate and all. We did it slow and easy. At first we still held hand and sit together, we decrease our interaction little by little. I decided to do something about my feeling to Myungsoo after the scar from my break up with Dongwoo hyung healed a little bit.

And then Sungjong knew that we had break up. It didn't make me wonder anymore how he did. He decided to talk about it with me. It was always easy to talk with him, so I relay explicitly that the reason of our broken up was my feeling toward Myungsoo. I knew if someone wouldn't judge me about my feeling, it was Sungjong. He just heard what I said calmly, and in the end he told me that he always knew that I loved Myungsoo. It made me surprised and I demanded his explanation.

"You know hyung, maybe you have loved Myungsoo hyung all along. You just didn't realize it because he was your best friend. It was so cliché didn't it? But it actually happened right? You are the example by the way. I thought you had mistaken your affection to Myungsoo hyung as a mere 'best friend affection'. Somehow you realize your attraction toward Dongwoo hyung, and you decided to focus on it. But your love didn't die it just grew stronger, no wonder considering you and Myungsoo hyung still attached on the hip. And then you realized your feeling toward Myungsoo hyung and Dongwoo hyung were basically different. Maybe you liked Dongwoo hyung the best, maybe you still did. But you loved Myungsoo hyung, you always did"

Hearing Sungjong explanation made me realize that it was true. The more I heard his explanation, the more I understand what I have felt all along.

"Oh my God Sungjong I thought you were right. But then what should I do? Maybe I did love Myungsoo, but how about him? We were best friend and all. If I confessed and he didn't feel the same, how awkward would it be? And hurts too I guess" I panicked and I looked at Sungjong as if he was something holy.

"Oh don't panic hyung, told you what, Myungsoo hyung loved you too. He always did".

***

Sungyeol POV

But then the rumor broke. I won't believe it, but my insecurity got the best of me. Who was I to think that Myungsoo could love me too? He loved some innocent looking girl with long wavy hair. Like how his girlfriend in rumor was. Somehow I ended up avoiding him. I couldn't look at his eyes. I confused and mostly hurt, but who am I to feel like that? If I looked at Myungsoo, I would start to over thinking about everything and my head will hurt I just couldn't hold it. It didn't help that Sungjong believed that Myungsoo liked me. It made everything worse because it made me hope. I want to be angry, but to who? Sungjong just made an assumption and it was me who believed it. I want to talk with Dongwoo hyung but it will just worry him. I couldn't talk to Sungjong because I knew I still felt a little angry no matter how wrong it was. I am too caught up with my own feeling that it was too late for me to realize that Myungsoo won't stay still if I kept avoiding him.

And he approached me, cornered me, angrily in fact. We argued and even hit each other on the face. I couldn't think straight, what I remember was he called me choding and he raised his voice at me. Despite how often I yelled, I just yell for the sake of it. But he raised his voice at me and I didn't like it. And then he went and asked me something and I couldn't answer it because if I answered it I would reveal my feeling for him. Thanks God Sunggyu decided to appear at that very moment. And everything went blur after that.

I kept avoiding him, but it seems that Myungsoo decided to let me be after that. But then his girlfriend went and revealed their relationship. The hell went loose then. We all really shocked honestly, but we decided not to mention it to Myungsoo because we knew he had already stressed as it was. I went to another state of confusion then. I just couldn't understand why his girlfriend decided to revealed their relationship. Didn't she know how bad the affect would be for Myungsoo? Didn't she care? We went and performed despite the rumors going on. Our world tour still going on and it couldn't affect us as it really was.

I could see how broken Myungsoo was that time. With our world tour going on, our condition had reached the bottom as it was, but Myungsoo had to deal with his rumor too. I am so conflicted, I wanted to hold him, I want to told him that I believe in him, I want to told him that I didn't care anymore that he had a girlfriend, that he never told me, but I couldn't because I loved him. Whatever I told him would be based on the fact that I wanted to be beside him because I loved him, not merely because I want to be, being his best friend and all. So I couldn't approach him because it would be unfair for him, I would use the opportunity when he was vulnerable to satisfy my feeling and I couldn't. Maybe he was still in relationship with his girlfriend. It was such a hell for all of us in different way, but we kept walking together as Infinite.

But then time to talk about it came to us. And talked he did. And he revealed that they had broken up. We were shocked and confused. So his girlfriend decided to reveal their relationship because they were broken up. And I couldn't hate someone more than I hate her that time. I couldn't think about how maybe she had suffered from the first time the rumor broke. I couldn't think about how maybe she revealed their relationship because her heart broken. I couldn't think about whatever the reason she decided to let the hell loose. I just could hate her for made Myungsoo so broken, for made their relationship so obvious the rumor started, for took Myungsoo away but broke him in the process.

I am so angry and confused I didn't say anything at all. Until our conversation ended and I still in my spot, processing everything. I felt someone sit beside me, and that someone hold my hand. I looked at that someone and realize it was Sungjong. He smiled at me and talked softly.

"You know hyung, I thought it was about time you talked again with Myungsoo hyung. He needed you, much more than you believe"

And I knew he was right. It was about time I stop avoiding him. I nodded and start to walk to his bedroom.

"Hyung" Sungjong called me.

"Yes?"

"Remember what I have told you. I never wrong before and I believe I was right too this time. Myungsoo hyung loved you. He always did"

I stared at him and I understand what he tried to tell me. I wanted it that way too, but I didn't want to hope like last time. At the very least I want to befriend with Myungsoo again. I just want to be able to tell him about my feeling. But I didn't dare to hope again. We talked and I am so happy I could talk with him again. I told him that I and Dongwoo hyung had broken up. I decided not to keep anything from Myungsoo because that was what exactly made us distant beside the fact that I loved him. But I still couldn't tell him why exactly we had broken up. And then I went and asked him why he has broken up, he never say why in our conversation with the member.

"...Because I never loved her" now we stared at each other and everything Sungjong said began to replay in my head.

"Remember what I have told you. I never wrong before and I believe I was right too this time. Myungsoo hyung loved you. He always did"

"I never loved her, but she has power, you know who his father was right? She kept bugging me and threatening me with all sort of way to be my girlfriend"

"Ohh Myungsoo I am so sorry"

"But it was my fault too. I should reject her no matter what, that way maybe the problem won't be this big. And honestly, when I accepted her, I am not in my right state" we kept our eye contact and he stared at me like he always did, and I realized how bad I missed his eyes.

"What do you mean you are not in your right state?"

"I can't tell you yet" we stared at each other, and I understand that actually we both knew what the answer to our unanswered question were. I felt my heart getting warmer and I just want to keep our moment this way. We talked and talked and I hope I could just listen to his voice forever until we both fall asleep.

***

Sungyeol POV

It was all good after that. The rumors still gave us a hard time, but after our conversation we had better understanding about the whole situation and it made everything easier. Now I could talk with Myungsoo again and he could tell me about his worries, I just felt so thankful. Sungjong asked me once if we had confessed to each other yet. I felt embarrassed when he asked about that because I still couldn't sure yet about how Myungsoo felt. Sungjong kept assuring me that Myungsoo indeed love me too, but I couldn't help but felt insecure and denied what he said. Deep down, I knew Sungjong never wrong, like never, could it make senses? But now I just want everything to keep flowing at it pace. We were there for each other again, and it was what matter for me now.

Thorough our world tour I heard some good news about my hyungs. I heard Sunggyu hyung and Woohyun hyung were together. I knew it. Woohyun hyung always liked Sunggyu hyung, better than me. I felt really happy for them. I never imagine that our couple ship would become reality. I did hope I would be together with Myungsoo, but being beside him again had already made me so happy. I couldn't wish for more. Sometimes I wonder if Dongwoo hyung and Hoya would end up together. Dongwoo hyung was friendly with everyone so I am not sure how he felt toward Hoya. But considering how awkward Hoya was normally, Dongwoo hyung really had a good relationship with him it seems. It pained me a bit imagining Dongwoo with someone else who was not me, but then I saw they were together and they looked so content with each other. I didn't know how Dongwoo hyung looked besides me, but he was sure looked really happy besides Hoya. When I was together with Dongwoo hyung, I felt like I always receiving his love. But when I saw them, I understand that whatever their relationship meant to be, they build it together, and it looked so beautiful I couldn't help but felt happy with them.

I asked Sungjong about them, and Sungjong said that they still had a really long way, but they will be together it seems. I thought I would feel a little sad imagining Dongwoo hyung together with someone, but I found out that Hoya was the only one I could imagine to stay beside Dongwoo hyung. I couldn't found someone better than him. They were so different yet they completed each other. It couldn't be more cliché than this. Woogyu and Yadong ended up together. If only I and Myungsoo could end up together too. Oh my God, just thinking about it made me felt so embarrassed. I didn't know if it was a good sign. But lately we would hang up together and we would brush our hand and he would hold my hand. He did it so casually I am too surprised to express how surprised I am. But then I felt how sweaty his palm became and I understand that he was just as nervous as I am. So I holded his hand back and we would end up holding hand until one of us needed to use said hand.

It happened again and again until we would hold hand in front of our member unconsciously. I am too oblivious to notice that they were noticing our holding-hand-thing. Until Sunggyu hyung came to me and Myungsoo (separately) to scold us about it. I am so embarrassed I tried my hardest not to welcome Myungsoo's hand (he still tried to hold my hand, unconsciously it seems). In the end we reached silent agreement that we would hold hand if it was just the two of us, not even in front of our member. Somehow it made me thinking what the hell was going on. We were not even dating, but why would we did our-holding-hand-thing secretly? Like holding-hand was sin or something, we didn't even kiss! And then it made me nervous. I am quite sure now that we liked each other. But I didn't know what to do about it. I hope I could just confess but it sure hard as hell. We have not even finishing our world tour!

Today was the last day of our performance in Dubai. It will end our world tour before our encore concert in South Korea. Today I would appear again on Myungsoo's performance. For now he knew about my appearance, and we discussed what would we do in advance. This performance felt so bittersweet for me. It made me remember about when I did it in Japan. I did it to surprise Myungsoo and I felt quiet accomplished that day, witnessing his shocked face and all. It somehow encouraged me more to confess that time. But then the scandal broke out not too long after that. It really broke me, and it had to happen right after I gain such confidence to confess. But this time it would all be different. Now I knew that Myungsoo was never in love with that girl. Too bad my appearance couldn't be surprise anymore.

I actually thought that I wouldn't felt nervous because I had done it once. Moreover we had discussed it beforehand. But no, I felt so nervous, even more than in Japan. I felt nervous because he knew I am here. And I knew we had decided that Myungsoo will try to kiss me and I would avoid him like madman. And I would throw the Teddy bear (that ungrateful doll, mind you, getting gazillion kisses from Myungsoo). My heart beating so fast I could hear its sound. We did everything smoothly, but I could feel how hot my face became. I am afraid our fans would notice how red my face right now. Right after the light died Myungsoo held my hand and we run to the backstage.

We smiled to each other and I felt so happy nothing could beat it. Oh how wrong I am because right at that moment our eyes met and I closed my eyes because I knew what will happen next. It lasted for maybe merely ten second. But our first kiss felt so perfect I wouldn't change it any other way. We stare at each other after we detached our kiss, and I felt like we exchanged a thousand words with our eyes.

"There were a lot I want to say to you" I smiled at that.

"Me too" I tighten our holding hands.

We smiled and we walked together to our brother to finish our concert. We had a really long night ahead of us.

I found my best partner.

He was my mentor, my rival, my lover, and my best friend.

I am Lee Sungyeol, and my best partner is Kim Myungsoo.