Welcome back and Welcome for the first time! I wrote this fic for Ao3 first and have decided to add it here, because this is where I started writing in the first place. 

Enjoy!

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Spiderman

Some nights just suck. No matter how high up he gets Peter can't escape the noise. It was trapped in his head, rattling around like a damned pinball. To top it off he couldn't escape her, those stupid billboards were everywhere.

God he was pathetic.

Mary Jane had gotten herself a new modeling job and said job got her face on everything. They'd been divorced for years and it only drove the loneliness carving away at his insides closer to home. Sending him spiraling down the pathetic rabbit hole of his whole failed love life and social life for that matter.

Which was depressing as hell. Hence the pity party he was throwing himself. Deadpool wasn't even there but he could practically hear him singing, "It's my party I can cry if I want to, cry if I want to cry cry cry". It was enough to almost break him out of the spiral. Almost.

Peter wished he could go back in time and smack the 'with great power comes great responsibility' out of his younger self. Ben couldn't have possibly meant this, he wouldn't have said it if he knew how much guilt it would heap on his nephews shoulders. Great responsibility his ass, being a hero was being the single most hated and simultaneously idolized man in the city. Putting him on a pedestal higher than any building he could climb and it was really fucking lonely up there.

"Spiderman~ Spiderman~ does whatever a spider can! Spins a Web- all though you don't really spin webs do you, more like string webs- Ah wait! Do you spin webs?!? Do you sleep in the middle of a giant web?!" No matter how many times it happens Peter is still deep in straight up denial that his spider-senses had all given up on alerting him about this specific person. No one else has ever gone unannounced by the hairs on the back of his neck or the snap that shot up his spine, someone's coming. Everyone sets off his spider-sense one way or another, he couldn't wrap his head around how the merc literally covered in guns and weapons of all kinds didn't.

"I'd crawl right into that trap, you can tie me up or strap me down however you want as long as you eat me after." Deadpool sacrificed his face for the brown bag of food he held up in one hand, cracking his nose back into place as he stood back up.

"If those aren't Isa's tacos I don't want them." Peter called back instead. Turned to look at Pool over the shoulder facing away from MJ's billboard hoping the leather clad asshole would take the hint and sit on that side so Peter wouldn't have to stare at her while trying to eat.

"Who do you take me as?" Deadpool cried, truly offended. He did in fact pick up on the incredibly subtle hint and plop himself down on Peters left.

Peter could smell Isa's infamous family recipe and his mouth was already watering, "Someone who knows if they don't hand over the food they get demoted to patrol partner again, no meet ups before or hang outs after." It was an empty but effective threat. Peter and Pool started patrolling together almost a year ago. In fact Deadpool has been very adamant about their exact 'anniversary' coming up, actively counting down the days. Literally, his Deadpool official instagram story had "5 days till Spideypool's one year meet-iversary!" countdown running as they spoke.

No matter how persistent Pool was by that point his walls were very high. It took Peter a long time to really trust him, but Deadpool had done something internally unexpected. He treated Peter's walls like the builds he scaled to meet him. Instead of trying to break them down or pull Peter out from behind them, Pool toppled over the edge and face planted at Peter's feet inside the locked box he'd meticulously created for himself. He never needed or wanted to know why Peter had the walls in the first place, he was just excited to be close enough to hangout with whatever version of himself Peter decided to give him.

"Oh please Spidey! Please don't punish me!" DP quickly laid out the contents of the bag between them, surrendering as much of the food to Spiderman as he wanted.

"Mhm." Peter pretended to contemplate, licking his lips under the mask, for as long as he could hold himself back. "You get a pass this time."

Deadpool positively preened, happily rolling up his mask to feast as Peter did the same. Peter was happy Deadpool was comfortable enough to lift his mask around him but he wished the guy had enough manners not to talk with his mouth full. Made worse when he was talking about absolutely nothing, going on and on about a movie or something. Peter found Deadpool's voice soothing, not that he would ever tell the Merc, literally known as the 'Merc with the Mouth', that.

"I wouldn't mind if they cast her as Vanessa, though she wasn't a red head, not really my cup of tea. Clash with the suit and all. Unless you're secretly a red head under there because in that case I love redheads. Would die to taste the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow."

"What?" Peter missed a chapter, tuning back in.

"Her. Ms. Watson." He pointed over Peter's shoulder at the billboard. His stomach plummeted off the ledge, taking his appetite with him. "Or do you mean the pot of gold thing, if I wasn't being clear I want to suck-"

"No. You were right the first time." Peter interjected but DP was already on a roll.

"-your cock." Peter cringed, turning away which unfortunately met facing the billboard again, making him wince for a whole other reason. "Hey, hey, Babyboy, turn that frown upside down. What's got you so blue?"

"It's personal."

"When is it not?"

"Pool-"

"Yeah yeah, 'No pool you haven't beat the boss level yet, personal backstory flashback montage is still locked.' You don't have to give me detaillllss." He kicked his feet like a kid, bizarre as it looks in red and black kevlar.

A year ago or even 6 months ago Peter would have laughed him off, told him to mind his own business and swung away. Now it didn't cross his mind, pulling his legs up under him, crossing his arms loosely around his knees. Deadpool always listens, he put all his attention in Peter's hands when he wanted it without fail.

Here we go, open that past relationship trap door, Deadpool's been standing on it for a while anyways. "She- reminds me of my ex, well really all of my ex's. The list is long and extremely depressing."

"Ohhhh relationship drama, been there done that, lay one on me."

"It's 'lay it on me'"

"I know what I said."

Peter huffed, half tempted to tug his mask back down to hide the creep of blush he could feel flush his face. "I've only ever driven people away or they die. That's it."

"I have a hard time believing that, not the dying thing- loved ones do that all the time. Marvel is a cruel mistress. The driving people away thing tho- that I don't believe, everyone should want you."

Peter was so caught off guard that Deadpool had said it out right that he chuckled, deep in his turning stomach it came out as a pained rasp. "People want Spiderman." The billboard was bright enough to illuminate Deadpool in a soft yellow glow, "or if they for some reason like the guy underneath. They never want me as both and are always disappointed by the other. Spiderman always got in the way of my civilian relationships, I was never on time or there for them and because of that she died. Dating as Spiderman was a lost cause because the guy I am under the mask never lives up to expectations. Believe it or not but I'm an incredibly boring and isolated dude."

Food forgotten, Deadpool literally whined, "Not everyone's that way Webs. Those superficial fuckers don't deserve you." He took Peter's self hating silence as space to keep talking. "I think you're the hottest shit in the city and am frankly happy those loser fucks missed out on their chance with you cause that means I can shot my shot. And I'ma not gonna miss my shot. Literally I'm a pro mercenary, sniper shots are a part of my skills list. I put a little gold star next to it and everything."

"Please don't shoot at me, bullet wounds are a bitch and take a lot longer for me to heal then for you." Peter joked, suddenly not liking how close to his feelings this conversation was veering. Deadpool was known for his dramatic confessions of devotion but giving one here and now was way too real for Peter's liking.

Meanwhile Pool was clutching at nonexistent pearls. "I would never. But I'm serious that bubble butt has got to look just as amazing in and out of spandex."

"That's very funny Pool." Peter suddenly stood, feeling itchy and exposed, he yanked his mask down.

"Wait, Spidey-"

Peter was already swinging half a block away before Deadpool could finish the rest of his sentence. 

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I should preface this with I don't read the MCU comics, and I've only got the mildest version of the 'trans man obsession with Spider-Man'. I manly know what I do from the movies and other fic's I've obsessively consumed of if your looking for source material accuracy you're in the wrong place. Tis is manly the product of a all consuming Spideypool obsession and writers block from my other works.