I'm so sorry that's it been so long. I've been busy, and also I've been dreading this chapter. It was the hardest to write. Not because I had writers block or anything, no, I knew exactly what this chapter was gonna be. Please don't hate me or stop reading it. It's not over yet. I do hope it makes up for the long wait.

Oh, and listen to the song sometime. It really fits this well.

"What's going on Bells?" Jake asked me. "Is Paul not in charge of you anymore?"

"I don't know. It is really complicated Jake. I've screwed things up. Big time." I sighed sadly.

"It's my fault all this is happening, isn't it?"

"What, no. Of course not. You didn't want to be Alpha, Jake, you can't make yourself do something you don't really want too."

"I know, but that's not what I mean. I was a new wolf, I didn't want to be a wolf at all. Accepting or rejecting my position as Alpha wasn't even a question, it didn't exist. All my thoughts were you, Sam had ordered me to stay away from you and I was relieved. I thought it would help, but it was an order I could easily defy and at first I just ignored the pull to you. Than it got to strong Bella."

"What are you talking about? If you are trying to take blame for me, Spirit Ties are born. Not made. They just have to be activated, for lack of better word. Nobody knew what I was, am."

"You're wrong. I had no idea, I always wanted you. Extremely; I just thought it was teenage boy hormones. But it only got worse when I became a werewolf. But seeing you, being in close proximity with you, made me realize that it wasn't about sex or me being horny."

"Jake?" I scrunched my eyebrows, I was so damn confused.

"I had this enormous, unknown desire pulling at me, It was getting stronger and stronger. I couldn't ignore it. I had to intertwine our DNAs."

"What?" I asked incredulously. What Jake was telling me was impossible, but it made so much sense.

 "That day, there was so much broken glass around. You tripped, hard, and I caught you. Just as hard, gripping your arm really hard.It hit me badly then. It was undeniable and I had been fighting so hard against it already. I just couldn't fight it any longer. So I let go of you, making it seem like I never really had you. It happened so fast, you didn't know the difference. My hold was the only thing keeping you on your feet, you had no balance and you were already half unconscious. You fell hard and the glass cut your arm pretty deep."

"No." I shook my head slowly.

"I took my shirt off and knelt down by you. I wiped the blood away with my shirt and cleaned the wound with my spit, and then tied it off with the clean part of my shirt, trapping my saliva in your veins."

"No. Jake, why? You should've tried harder."

"I couldn't. After that, we were closer and my feelings were stronger and even deeper. I think you were developing feelings for me, everything was so damn perfect. Than my dad and Sam dropped the Alpha bomb."

"Why'd you refuse? You had gotten virtually everything you wanted."

"I didn't at first, I thought it over. Hard and for quite some time. And I really thought I'd accept, but I really didn't even want to be a wolf at all. So, how could I be Alpha? I didn't know what was going on with you and me, I had no clue that refusing Alpha would be be refusing you. I had no reason to believe that our relationship had anything to do with the pack."

I stood there speechless, wishing I had feelings for him. Wishing he would've just accepted his fate. I was sad about that, on top of everything else.

"Everything was great, nothing had changed. Not even between you and me. There was only one strange thing and I never even thought it meant anything. Sam started to watch you, out of confusion and curiosity. He seemed to be slowly developing feelings and he couldn't understand why. I didn't think anything of it. It was just a little crush, nobody was worried."

"Jake. I'm sorry."

"And than that shit with Paul happened and Sam really made himself known as Alpha, things began to change." He put his head in his hands and inhaled sharply.

"Don't blame yourself." I rubbed his back softly.

"Why not? It's all my fucking fault!" His voice was rising is anger, at himself.

"It's over and done with."

"I haven't helped anything. Believe me. My actions could ruin everything, but that seem to mean nothing to my heart."

"Paul?" He questioned. "Sam's been really short with Paul. What's going on with all that?"

I looked down at my hands. I couldn't bare lying to Jake, but I was too ashamed to look at him. "I don't know. Nothing, everything." I sigh, erratically and my voice drops to a mere whisper. "He loves me Jake, I love him."

He sighed, I could feel his eyes boring sympathy and pity. "Oh Bells." He hugged me.

"I hate myself for not being able to hate him. I know what I need to do, I know what's right and what could happen if I go against the Spirit Tie bond. I just can't bring myself to choosing Sam, I love Paul too much."

"Sam will go insane. You have to figure something out; he'll probably kill Paul."

"I know, he's already gone ape once. I can't blame him, he was worried about my safety after that scare with Emmett. He ordered me to tell him everything I was purposely keeping from him. I outed myself."

"Scare with Emmett?"

"Damn. I forget that Sam and kept it between us. Emmett Cullen came to check up on me, but tried to attack me."

"What the hell?" Jake yelled, angry.

"He didn't though. He was able to stop himself and Sam showed anyways. It's not Emmett's fault, it's the Spirit Tie."

"Yeah okay." He scoffed. "What is this Spirit Tie bullshit?"

"I can't explain that Jake, I want to. Your dad said that we shouldn't tell the pack. "

"Of course." He huffed. "How ape did Sam go, exactly and why tell him the truth?"

I looked at my hands again. "A lot. Spirit Ties are complicated; when Sam or Paul orders something, I have to follow. Right along with the pack."

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Bella I'm so sorry."

I chuckled. "It's not that bad now. Sam's really nice about it. Most the time."

"You're avoiding my other question Bella. How crazy did Sam go?"

I sighed, I hoped it would be forgotten. "Sam marked me."

"WHAT?" He screamed, shaking. "That bastard, it's against our laws to mark anyone. It takes away privacy and practically makes the markeeproperty. It's not right Bella! It's barbaric and permanent. I should've known. Something has been so different about you, nobody could put a finger on it."

"It's honestly not that big of a deal, I really didn't give him much of a choice."

"Bullshit, you don't really believe that do you? No matter what happens between the two of you, whether you end up together or you don't, there will always be that undeniable connection. You will never be able to do a fricken thing about it. He's such a fucking dumb fuck!"

"Jake It's fine, I've accepted it."

"You shouldn't though!" He yelled. "You accepted this so damn easily, it's fucking ridiculous."

"I have not. Accepting this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I hate it, I know what I have to do. I want to want it, I know what's right and I can't bring myself into doing it. I'm not going over this again. Because you are so wrong Jacob, this has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"Bella."

"Just don't, okay? I don't blame you for anything, none of it is your fault. But you can't tell me how I'm doing, you don't have a clue. Only Sam has any idea of it all, because we are bonded. And his mark."

"That's where you're wrong Isabella."Paul stood in the open doorway that neither Jake nor  I closed apparently.

"What are you doing here Paul, Sam doesn-"

"I don't give a shit about what Sam wants. This is where I am supposed to be." He pulled me up from the couch gently, my face in his hands.

"Don't make this hard. We can't, I can't."

"I'm not going anywhere baby, I'm not giving you up without a fight."

"Paul-"

I looked at Jake at he immediately stopped. "I'm Sam's."

"I don't care Bella. Until you tell me that you choose Sam, until you say goodbye, I'm staying right here with you. I love you and I am not just going to hand you over to Sam."

"Please, Paul." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Say those words, right now and I'll walk away. If you can say them without falter, I'll leave you alone."

I looked at him, my face still in his warm hand. "I, Paul." I closed my eyes and inhaled. "I choo, I choose. Paul. I. Fuck. Paul I. Damn it. I can't do it."

"I know." He brought me to his chest, and rubbed my back. "I can't let go of you either." I was crying, I hated myself. I hated how much I loved Paul and I hated that I had no clue why.

He was sad too. I could feel it in the way he stood. I could feel it in the way he held me. I heard the resignation growing in his voice.

"This can't happen. You should be with the pack Paul. Sam will go insane." Jake said quietly.

Paul looked at him, stroking my back. "You're right. Absolutely right Jake, but I don't care. Leave, go find the the pack."

"I was told to stay with Bella."

"And now I'm telling you to go with the pack. Now."

"Bye Bells." He waved skeptically at me as he left.

"Why do you do that?"

"I want to be alone with you."

"Paul, we can't."

He pulled away from me. "Why not? I love you, you fucking love me. Forget about Sam. Choose me. You want to."

"I can't Paul, why don't see that? Love doesn't matter." Tears started to stream all over again. It just wasn't fair.

"Don't say that. Please don't ever say that." His voice cracked.

"You love him Izzy, choose him." Mike goaded me.

"I can't!" I yelled in frustration.

"You can, you're so brave and smart and amazing. You can do anything Bella. You've made me a better person." It made me cry harder, he had no clue that I wasn't talking to him. His sweet words made me love him even more.

"You are doing the right thing Isabella." The Voices informed.

"Shut up!" I scolded. I winced, I knew Paul thought I meant him. "Paul."

"I can't let you go, especially so easily without a fight. It would be far to hard."

"Why?" I spat. Why couldn't he just make this easy for me. "You could make it easy for me, It's the right thing to do. WHY?"

"Bella." He said softly.

It just made me more mad. "Why? God Damn it! Why can't you let me go? Make it easy for me!"

"I just can't!" He yelled back, in my face. He pulled me closer, kissing me. He was rough, kissing with so much passion that it took everything I had to stay on my feet. It was lustful and filled with all the love in the world. It was so amazing; my hand went to his face, holding him. "I love you."

I was breathing heavily and my lips were swollen. I still wanted answers. "Why?"

"Damn it Bella." He pushed me awa from him, but not hard enough for me to fall. "I imprinted on you, God Damn it! ARE YOU HAPPY?"

"Imprinted? You Imprinted." I stumbled over the words, shock.

"Yes. I imprinted. And I can't fight it, it just makes it stronger. I love you so much and I hate the thought of letting you go. I don't think I'd survive it Bella. It just kills me."

"Paul." He was completely right. I think it would crush me to walk away from him. "Shit. Paul-" I crashed my lips on his. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

"I love you Isabella." He kissed my neck. We had moved to my bed and I was laying underneath him, he unbuttoned my shirt. "I love you so much."

I kissed him again, I wanted his mouth on mine. I unbutton his shorts, he worked on my bra.

He squeezed my breast, I wiggled out of my jeans. It created bone chilling friction, we both moaned.

"We shouldn't do this." Paul said between breaths.

"Shut up Paul." I pulled at my underwear, and slipped my hands in his shorts and stroked him. He moaned and ripped off his shorts. "I love you."

(Sam's PoV)

"Jake?" I looked at him, he was supposed to be with Bella. "What the hell are you doing here? I told you to stay with Bella."

"Yeah, I planned on it. Paul told me to leave."

"GOD DAMN IT! I told you fuckers it wasn't all in my head. The mark, the bond, I know when something is going on."

"Calm down Sam. Did you really think that Bella wouldn't fuck around on you?" Leah scoffed.

"Shut the fuck up! You guys keep searching, make sure them blood suckers are really gone."

"They are gone." Jared groaned.

"I said keep looking!"

"And what about you?" Leah asked.

"None of your business! Get back to work!" I stepped out of my shorts, tied them to my ankle and phased. ''

I burst through Bella's door. I made my way to her bedroom, they started scrabbling. "Oh, shit. Fucking shit." Bella panicked.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" I screamed, never feeling so pissed in my entire life. She backed up, clutching the bed sheet to her body, fear radiating off her. "ANSWER ME. NOW!"

"I." Her lips trembled, her body shook.

"Bella. Answer me."

"Leave her alone Sam"

I turned and looked at him. "SHUT THE FUCK UP PAUL! You have no right. I told you, everyone that Bella is mine."

"Fuck off!"

 I growled and punched him in the face quite hard. It's about time that Paul learned some respect. "She," I punched him again, "is mine!" I kicked him in the stomach. He moaned in pain. "You just can't learn your FUCKING PLACE! None of it matters now though, you fucked up too much." I kicked him again.

"NO!" Bella screamed, inserting herself between me and Paul's semi conscious body.

"And why not? Why should I listen to you?" I spat in her face.

"It's my fault."

"Yeah, I believe that crock of shit." I rolled my eyes; my wolf wanted me to put her in her place.

"It's true," she pleaded, "I swear. Paul came here and even ordered Jake to leave, but he wanted to stop when things got heavy. I said no, I convinced him to go on, I wanted this."

"FUCKING! Why?"

"I had to see."

"See what?"

"See if I could really handle saying goodbye to him. I care about him. A lot, and I hate it, It has made it so hard to choose the right thing. Goodbye couldn't be just words, or a simple wave of my hands, or a hug. It had to be huge, it had to be personal." Tears were streaming down her face as she inhaled deeply, she was looking at Paul.

"No, Bella, don't." Paul begged almost silently.

"You said if I said the words." She wiped at her tears, only making her crying worse. She looked at me. "What happened was wrong, but he's not to blame for it. I am; I went about goodbye badly, but I couldn't do it any other way. Paul deserved that much, I deserved that much. Don't punish him for my stupidity."

I sighed, I felt torn. I was happy because I think she was finally saying what I've been waiting to hear. But she had just betrayed me, and the pack. Did her choice even matter anymore?

"If it matters still, I choose you. Just like I've been trying to do along. This was my goodbye, but if you hate me-"

"I could never hate you." I pulled her to my chest hugged her tightly. "Are you sure? Bella this."

"I'm sure. It's been really hard, but I've wanted to make this choice."

"This is amazing." I smile widely, squeezing her. "Let's get you back to my place for now, you can bathe and we'll do something amazing tonight. Just me and you." I started pulling her to the door with me.

She walked along with me, looking back at Paul. "I choose Sam, it's the right thing. Please, please respect that. Goodbye, Paul remember that I care about you. Deeply. Goodbye."

"I promise you'll be okay, and I'm in no hurry for anything. The important thing is that you finally made the right choice." I spoke softly and carefully. It was no time for boasting, Bella was hurting. "Let's get you ho- back to my place, we'll get you showered and fed."

She nodded her head. "Okay Sam." She smiled weakly, it just made me sad for her. "I might be really emotional right now and I'll probably always miss Paul, but I don't regret this. Not at all, I promise you that."

"I know, I'm really happy you ended it. I won't lie; I am also happy that you stopped me before doing anything stupid." She nodded her head and smiled weakly at me again.

A few hours later, Bella and I were sitting on my couch watching some crappy TV show. She wasn't really watching, she was nuzzled into my chest with her arms wrapped around my waist. A part of me was jumping for joy, the other part of me was disappointed. I knew she was only doing it because she was trying to hold herself together. And it killed me not to be able to help her through this.

Jake ripped open my door. "Sam." He panicked.

Bella turned her head just enough to look at Jake.

"What is it?" I asked carefully, something was wrong.

"Paul's gone. His clothes, bathroom shit. It's all cleared out; he left his phone behind. He left a note. A short note, it doesn't make sense to me." He shrugged. "I think it's for Bells."

Bella gasped, choking back tears.

"That fucker." I hissed. It was destroying her. Jake handed his note to me.

                            B,

                    I guess I was wrong. You were able to say the words after all. I hope you have a            great life. I'll keep my promise.

                                                                   Love you.

She started crying hard. Thick tears fell fast. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Paul needs to be mature. He knows how important this is. He's a jerk, sweetie."

She wiped her tears, trying to compose herself. "No," she spoke softly, "I'm sorry I can't get over this."

"Bella." Both Jake and I start.

She held up her hand, a motion to stop us. "I need a minute." She got up, her hand on the door knob. "I'm gonna go for a walk, I need some air. I won't go very far." She walked out sniffling.

"What the hell?" Jake asked angrily.

"If Paul ever comes back, I'll kill him for doing this to her."