Cassandra

"Stop pulling me, damn it." I snapped but he kept pulling me. Well yes, I tried to walk to the different direction but he immediately pulled my hand and I protested. He knew that I hated him and the least thing I wanted right now is being alone in the car with him.

"Then stop being so fucking difficult, now get in the car." He glared back.

"No."

"Fine." He opened the car door without letting go of my wrist. "If don't step into this goddamn car than I would just hold your hand for god knows how long."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me." He tightened his grip and I gave up. I wouldn't mind, though. I kind of miss this annoying side of him. So I groaned and got into the car before he closed the door and entered the driver's seat. "Just take me to the subway station."

"Nope. I'm taking you home." Shit. Did he have to look this hot when he's mad?

"I don't want you to."

It looked like he was holding something in him before he took a long sigh. "Look, princess," He started and I broke at the nickname. "I've been nothing but nice since we met and you were okay back then. You hate me, I get it. But it's just a matter of taking you home. Do you need to be difficult on that too?"

"Yes. I am difficult in every life aspect."

"Yeah whatever. Put your seatbelt on."

"No."

"Fine, then good luck laying injured in the hospital." He started the car and I put the seat belt on.

"If that happened 5 minutes ago, we wouldn't have to spend time arguing at each other's throats."

"If you had agreed to take me to the closest station, we wouldn't have to fight."

"Ha. Ha."

The drive was silent it was killing me. He drove like a mad man and I pretended like he was invisible that I only looked at him through the window. I remembered when I first got in the car with him. "This never happened." I said but I was the one who kept thinking about it. I was such a bitch, but this was worse. I felt like overreacting but it was the only way to keep me from missing him. I was kind of disappointed with the fact that he actually did stay away from me, I thought he would keep bugging me and annoy the shot out of me like he used to before we got close, but he didn't. I wanted him to annoy me until I gave up, but I couldn't. I mean what did you expect? Me to approach him and say that I forgive him? No way in the world.

I gasped when Harry stopped the car harshly and got out of the car, leaning on it. I got out too and walk straightly to my house without leaving any words and I felt like he was following me inside, and it was true. As soon as I entered the house, I looked back finding Harry slamming the door shut and locked it. "Styles, stop acting up."

"We need to talk." He held the door locked.

"Get the hell out. I don't want to talk, not now not ever."

"Fine. Then punch me. Anything to get us to communicate." He stepped closer and I stepped back until my back hit the wall.

"Fuck. What do you want to talk about?"

"Us."

"What about us?"

"I want to talk about what happened."

"Us is nonexistent, Styles."

"We used to exist." He groaned, putting one hand on the wall.

"There were no us. Nor will ever be us."

"Stop fighting yourself."

"I am not."

"You are"

"I'm not.."

"You are."

"What do you want me to say?!" I screamed on his face, showing him how frustrated I was.

"I want you to listen," He sighed, going soft all at once. I hated when he did that. He would furrowed hid brows and bit his trembling bottom lip, his eyes would be wider, I could almost see the hope inside it.

"To what? Your long essays? I have things to do."

"And I have words to say." He took some steps back and pushed his hair back with his fingers.

"Harry-"

"Cass, Fuck! Just listen up for once! I made a mistake okay? Do I regret it? No. You know why? Because it brought me the pleasure of knowing you for months. So please."

"Please what?"

"Stop fighting yourself. I know you want us as much as I want it too." I did. I wanted him too, but I'd be breaking my own rules if I said so.

"I am not fighting myself. I am building walls to keep myself away from dicks like you. You know what my mistake is? For actually falling for your shit. And no I'm never going to fall for it no more."

"You will."

"Get out, Harry."

"I will get you back, Cassandra."

"Out."

"I don't care how long it would take, but I will try and do it. I love you and I'm getting you back. I need you with me."

"Stop it, Harry."

"Try me." Just like that, He disappeared.

-

Harry

I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling. 3 days since my encounter with Cassandra and all I had in my had was... Fuck. How did I end up here? Not here, here. More like emotionally here. I was not supposed nor plan on getting this much involved. I did not know what to do. Should I go after her? But she hated me. Should I just wait? Maybe she needed some time. But how long?

They say patience is a virtue. But good and high were no longer my priority, none of my former priorities were put first in this case. I literally would do anything to get Cassandra back, regardless how low, cheap, disgusting it may be. But would that be enough? Or would I just flunk out in the middle of my effort? There were countless possibilities and I was as confused as toddler.

So I grabbed my camera along with me to uni and do the usual things I did this past week. I watched her walk. I watched her talk. I watched her laugh. And I watched her frown. I watched how her face slightly turned in to a frown when she read something sad in her book. I watched how she bit her lip because she read something very pleasing for her. I watched her feet moving up and down because she couldn't stay still. My camera taking pictures along with my countless adoration. (Creepy, I know. Pathetic, huh?)

Once I got home, I connected my camera to my laptop and started to indulge even more of her. Yep, my new routine. I loved it when she walks. I love her steps are always so wide and long, people had trouble to catch up with her tempo. I loved how she always let her emotions shows when she talks. Like squinting her eyes, wiggling her nose. I loved every mimic her face makes. I loved how she laughs. I loved how wide her mouth opens when she laughs. She held nothing back. I loved how she frowns. How her eyebrows furrows and mouth turned into a wide letter n. She was very expressive. I loved how she bites her lower lip. It makes her cute and looked even more desirable.

Until I realise. I loved every single flaw other men pointed at. It may be disgusting to them, but they were crazy beautiful to me. And I was completely okay with it. I was completely okay with being in love and adoring someone.

I was a lovesick teenager, and I was proud of it. Why wouldn't I? At least I fell for a right girl. In that moment I quite realise what people say about love is beautiful. I was starting to believe in it. It's like, your focus was no longer on one thing, it was becoming whole.

It was no longer "I love her because she loves me." Or "I love her because she's understanding." And such. I was no longer nailed on to what I looked for in girls or what was my type.

It was just "fuck- I love this girl.". I was no longer nailed on to type nor what I look for, because I was looking for Cassandra. Cassandra was the type. All these time, I spent so many time, dating and ditching girls because I was looking for Cassandra in another woman's body. There was no reason to love her because she was the reason. The only reason. And it hurt me that now she wouldn't even at least accept the fact that I was utterly in love with her. She wouldn't even look me in the eyes when I was willing to give up everything to show the whole world that I was in love with-

Holy shit. I knew exactly what to do.

-

"Sir, you can't put anything on that wall, it's public facili-"

"What's the worst thing that can happen to me?" I cut the stranger. It was almost 2 AM on the side of the road where the plain wall at. People used to spray graffiti and draw inappropriate things on this wall and now it's been banned. Apparently it was like and Adam and Eve thing, you can mess up any wall but not this one. Weirdly challenging.

"Get arrested?"

"I can afford to pay the bail. This girl bailed on me, is what I can't afford. Good night, sir." I shooed him.

"Fucking teenage hormones." He muttered as he left.

I started to stick one picture to another, feeling the space with those pictures. I had 9 hours till when classes supposedly start, and there was no way I get to do this on time. But shit I better hurry. So I sticked all the 50 pictures of her on the wall as I sighed in relief. Well shit. Chances were, whether she'd love it or be completely ashamed of it and hate me even more. Hey, better try than cry.