Chapter 7: Grief and Guilt

Osra took deep breaths as he returned to his room. He stood on his bed to screw in the vent grate shut before he placed the tool in the same place as the scalpel. Taking another deep breath, he lied down and shut his eyes completely, drifting off to another false reality.

"Why didn't you do anything," Technis II's voice rang throughout his head in complete darkness. "Why weren't you a better leader."

"Where were you when Evan started falling?" Purple Gleam groaned. "Why weren't you a better leader?"

"Why didn't you do something?" the two voices mixed together, "we're both dead due to your faulty leading. We're both gone, erased from everyone's lives thanks the cracks of your leadership."

"Zeref almost killed Evan, killing me," PG continued on her own. "Why didn't you fight without any openings in your guard, why weren't you stronger than Zeref or Arso?"

Technis II continued, "why didn't you confess to Melody sooner, why couldn't you protect her?"

"We're gone," they repeated, "we're gone." The voices seemed to multiply, adding more people. "We're gone," they repeated, "we're gone." He could hear his best friends, Gerry and Ryel speak with them, "we're gone." He could hear the original Technis, Bethany Waters' boyfriend join them, "we're gone." They continued growing in volume, "we're gone. We're gone. We're gone. We're gone."

"Lost," Gerry growled.

"Passed," Ryel groaned.

"Done," Technis moaned.

"Zero," Technis II continued.

"Dead," PG finished.

The five voices conjoined once more, circling around Osra's head, "gone. We're dead, and it's all because of you."

"You," a new voice echoed, clearing Osra's mind completely. "You got me and the rest of the guild killed. You are the cause of our deaths. You failed to be our savior. You failed. Not only as a leader, but as a friend, a companion, a soldier, you have failed your purpose. You are a nobody that amounted to nothing in this world. You are dead."

"Stop!" he shouted as he woke. He panted in his bed, looking down to see sweaty palms and a drenched white t-shirt, it wasn't my fault. He glanced over at his clock to read "7:30." A loud groan washed over him, filling the room entirely. He stood up and scratched his head. About an hour or two of sleep...? Takes me back to school days. Alright... let's go. I can sleep later. The man stretched his arms out before yawning. He opened the door with a wave of his hand, shocked to see clothes waiting outside it. Are these...? He looked to his right to see more clothes lined up sporadically around door to door. Must be people who've woken up... Will there be new ones here just waiting everyday? If so, I have an idea, but just no place to use it yet. He picked them up and walked down the dimly lit hallway.

He walked past numerous rooms, including Charles, with his eyes glued to the floor. Damn, the chances and risks I'd take, no, the amount of things I'd sacrifice to bring everyone back... It is my fault. I'm a pretty shitty leader, and they must be right. I got them killed, they're gone now. Past the central lab, and into the center hub of death game survivors, he held his head down. You should just turn yourself in. What difference will you make joining these people, your old friends? You're probably just going to slow them down, get them caught if anything. You're going to get them killed, and just prove your point even more. You're a horrible leader, stop trying to touch and influence more people, stop trying to touch their minds. You're worthless now. Melody... Melody believes you're dead, she's moved on already. Everyone has, they're all moving on without you. At least they're happy...

Osra turned into the washroom, looking up briefly to make sure he didn't enter the women's washroom. He took off his shirt and looked into the mirror to see his body littered with bruises. He smirked, seeing that he retained a better physique as he slept, but frowned as he noticed a weird line around his arm. Before he could investigate, Havens jumped up besides him and wrapped his arms around his neck with a smile.

"Hey!" he shouted, "how'd ya sleep?" Other men in the room stared with confusion as the two half naked men stared at each other through a mirror.

Osra managed a smile as he barely managed a response, "ehh... Only got about two hours or so. We saw some pretty weird things in-"

"-your dreams!" Havens covered up for him as the other men exchanged even more confused looks. He laughed nervously as they left before leaning into his ear and whispering, "we'll talk about the vents at the table. Keep your mouth shut here, got it? We can't risk getting caught, we've come too far."

"R-right, sorry," Osra nodded and sighed.

Havens smiled and patted his back, "don't worry about it, it was probably some weird dream. Yeah? See you at breakfast!"

He waved to his friend as Havens left to shower. Osra took in another deep breath before taking a quick shower himself. He brushed his teeth and put on his new clothes, realizing his dirty ones were gone, but probably collected to wash. As he exited the washroom, he fell lost to his thoughts again, walking with his eyes staring at dead air. There you go, almost fucking everyone and everything over again. Jesus, can't do shit anymore... Just leave them alone, don't even go to-

"Whoa!" a lighter voice squeaked in front of him. He looked up to see a girl with long blond hair directly in front of him. Before he could stop, the two collided, forcing the two of them to fall on their bottoms. "What's your problem, buddy?!" she shouted at him. He stared at her teal eyes before looking back down at the ground. The girl sighed, and shook her head, "you... you alright?" Osra didn't reply, looking down as he began to sink down again. The girl stood up and offered her hand, "I'm Ahri. Sorry for kinda snapping, it seems like that's the last thing you need right now."

"Oh," he took her hand, allowing her to pick him off the ground. "Thank you. I'm... uh, I'm Os-Josh! My name is Josh, Josh Tran."

Ahri giggled, "Os-Josh, interesting name. Where you from, Os-Josh?"

"Sorry, I thought you were using your handle. I'm Osra, but I guess I shouldn't be using those names in the real world... Southern California," he grunted as he shook his head from embarrassment.

The girl smiled, "you're okay. I'm from Ohio, actually, but I meant game. You come from Twisting Web?"

"Oh, uh, yeah... well, both games actually," he scratched the back of his head as he spoke.

"You were in Sword Art too?!" her jaw dropped, "that's insane!"

Believing she recognized his strength, he felt flustered, "why thanks for the-"

"How bad can lady luck be with you?!" she laughed. Even though he knew she was making more fun out of him, he couldn't help but smile and laugh a little bit too. "Holy shit, you should be dead."

"I'm here, aren't I?" Osra fired back, "isn't it pretty lucky to get a second chance at life, like this?"

Ahri frowned, "I guess... Damn, you're right. That means we're both supposed to be dead."

"I mean, who ever wanted to be alive in the first place?" he sighed. The two looked down at the floor in silence before picking back up on laughter.

"You're funny," she smiled again, "you want to grab breakfast with me? I can show you my guildmates, well... the ones who were supposed to be dead, you know, like you and me."

Osra smiled and nodded. She smiled back and gripped his hand, leading him away from the restroom. He stared at the back of her blond head with a warm feeling in his chest before shaking his own head violently. Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?! You gotta get back to the group or-

"Your guild here too?" she asked as they stopped in front of the line to grab something to eat. Osra looked down to see her still holding his wrist. She blushed as she let go, "you just gonna stand there? Hello...?"

"Oh!" Osra stepped back and blushed as well. He looked to his right to see the rest of his group smirking as they watched him. "I, uhh, no. My guild... You might know us. You know, the guild that set everyone free?" he scratched the back of his head as he tried to stay humble but diffident.

"Hmm?" she tilted her head to the left.

He squinted his eyes with a goofy smirk on his face, "uhh... Okay, guess I just gotta give it to you. I'm Osra, you know, from the Hearts of Light?"

"Oh!" her face widened as she nodded. "Doesn't ring a bell."

Osra sighed, "guess you wouldn't know, huh? Since you died anyways... Sucks to suck at a death game." He crossed his arms with a flirtatious smile as she puffed her cheeks.

"You died too!" she growled back. "You can't talk either!"

He froze as he tried to remember things again. He fell to his knees as he saw flashing images rush throughout his mind. He saw Dr. Downing and Nurse Carrie standing above him as he felt wet. He squinted as he heard them mumbling, causing a sudden burst of pain to flood his head. He screamed as he put his hands on his face, causing a commotion. Herzog quickly rose up and rushed to his side.

"He's okay, he's okay," Max Herzog repeated. He lifted Osra up, back onto his feet, "you're okay, right buddy?"

"What's wrong?" Ahri said with much concern.

Osra groaned as he held his head, "I think so..."

"What's the problem here?" a guard made his way through the crowd surrounding them. A quick blast of fear washed over Herzog's body, causing him to drop Osra.

A man laughed from afar, "hey! He was with Ahri! Ahri the slut sucked him off too hard, so he just fell!" The crowd roared with laughter as others stared in disgust.

"Look! It really is her! Ahri the slut! Look at her, kneeling down next to him, ready for a blow anytime, anywhere!" another man shouted as well.

"Ahri-" Osra put his hand up as she began to run away with her hands over her face.

"Run, you fucking prostitute," a woman said in the distance. "Leave the man alone, go back to your whore house of a guild."

A woman besides her spoke too, "all of you go! Kill yourselves, you didn't deserve your second chance. Get out of here!" A large group of women who seemed to be the rest of Ahri's guild fled from the scene quickly, following Ahri. One of them turned to get a look at Osra, before turning back and high-tailing it.

The guard shouted, scaring everyone enough to settle down, "is there a problem here?!"

"No, sir," Herzog told him. "He just woke up, and he's weak. He had an episode, he's fine. That's all."

"Alright," the guard grunted softly, "does he need to be seen by Dr. Downing?"

Herzog answered quickly, "no. We're okay, sir. We just need some food, that's all." He took a deep breath as Osra looked up at the guard. He nodded before walking off. The crowd dispersed quite quickly soon after as well, leaving Herzog and Osra on the ground. He took some time to catch his breath before standing back up. "We should've said something when Havens came back saying you were probably going to run into Ahri the sl-"

"Don't call her that," Osra cut him off, "she doesn't seem that bad."

Herzog rolled his eyes, "that's what she does. She lures you in, blows you, then takes off with all of your shit."

He glared back at him, "what shit? We don't have shit, here. We're given clothes every morning, and that is all. What could she possibly take?"

"Calm down," Herzog patted his back, "let's get you some food and then back to the table."

"You alright man?" Adam asked him as he sat.

Osra shouted as he slammed his food onto the table, "Ahri isn't a bad person!"

"Hey!" Tim hushed him, "you already caused a scene today, another one could cost us someone!" He pointed at the same guard from before, noticing how he began to keep a closer eye on them. "We're limited as it is, we don't need anymore attention."

"Tim's right," Alan hushed with a harder tone, "thanks to you, Osra, we're already on the hotlist for today!"

"Ahri is a bad person by the way," Jordan warned him, "you shouldn't trust her or anyone in that damn guild. They nearly got us killed on Halloween night."

"How?" Osra crossed his arms as he lied back. He put his finger up to halt him from speaking for a moment. He leaned back in and grabbed an apple before nodding his head, allowing anyone to speak again.

"They're the Silent Sirens," Jack rolled his eyes, "a red guild. Now that we know what that means... we should've known better. They are exactly what their names say."

"Ahri's the leader of the pack," Herzog sighed, "it was Halloween, the night our guild found you, err, at least from what everyone tells me. I died already, and it was the Sirens' fault."

Jordan shook his head in shame, "no. It was the day of Halloween eve. They begged us to let them in, saying they had nowhere to sleep. They also heard from a rat in town that something similar to the actual Halloween event would happen."

"You let them in?" Silver glared at all of them.

Adam shook his head, "of course we didn't!"

Jack groaned, "but Taylor and Thomas felt bad and ended up letting the four-man guild into our guild room. Ahri's the leader, then there are three more. They're all the same, just some looting bitches who had it coming to them that night."

Jade Dragon tilted her head, "what did they do?"

"We were settling in for the night, and then we wake up to see all our equipment is gone. The Sirens are nowhere to be found, and then all hell breaks loose. They took my sword, and then that was the end of me," Herzog made a decapitation motion with his hand as he shook his head.

"We saw them each get slaughtered by a wave of Fallen as they rushed out of the inn. Then we ran into you, caught in almost the same predicament," Adam scratched the back of his head, feeling abashed.

"By "settle in" did you guys sleep with them?" Ricky smirked as he raised the question. Silence appeared in the form of red all over the men's faces. "Oh no, that's bad..." he laughed as Osra's jaw dropped.

"She isn't Ahri the Slut for no reason..." Adam exhaled sharply.

Jordan shouted as the others began to laugh, "they offered and we were curious! So what?! We were in a game, how real could it have felt?!"

"Well?" Osra grinned, "How was it."

Tim sighed, "I wouldn't know-"

"Surprisingly real," Jack laughed hard, slamming his hand onto the table.

"Jack!" Ricky snorted as he let out a couple chuckles.

"Good," Alan nodded as he hid a smile, "this takes tension off us, but let's get down to the real shit."

Osra put up his hand, "alright, well let's take a step back. We have all day, but I want to bring something up." He waited for the others to settle down before speaking, "Ahri isn't that bad. I mean, what can she steal? I'm pretty sure she just feels bad now, she died pretty early anyway. So what's the deal, this is our second life, her second chance. Can we stop calling her a slut? Pretty sure she regrets everything."

"I would," Havens sighed besides him, "to sleep with someone to then take their shit right after? It was dangerous, and it even got Herzog killed. Why the hell should they not be embarrassed or feel ashamed for what they did? They did do it after all, they should not go unpunished."

"They died and were given a second chance. Give them some slack, okay?" Osra pleaded, "just try, alright?"

Tim whined as he mocked him, "damn guys, sorry we got in the way of Josh and his girlfriend. Wait... what about Melody?"

"Well Silver already said it," Osra sighed again, "we're essentially already dead, and the living have most likely moved on. That means that Mel probably has too..."

Alan shouted, shooting his hand into the air, "hello?! C'mon!"

"Right," Osra nodded, "sorry."

Ricky exhaled sharply as he leaned in, "we couldn't see everything, but there are a lot of things to note. Dr. Downing was speaking with a new guy. His name was Colonel Lollup, and they were talking about my next point. Gary. He's... he's dead. They sliced him up like some sack of meat to study his brain, it's sickening." Everyone around the table looked down in silence.

"What else happened?" Alan demanded, "we need to know more."

Osra continued where Ricky couldn't, "what we saw next was a lot more shocking. There were these children, not little kids, but young adults. They were being locked up and treated like prisoners. The Lollop guy went in there, demanding a bunch of shit as he beat them up. I felt horrible watching it."

"Interesting," Alan rubbed his mouth with his hands as he thought, "torture and experimentations... The hell is going on in this establishment?"

Havens shook his head, "has to be something more, like some future shit or something. Yeah."

"Shut the fuck up Max, you say some really stupid shit sometimes," Herzog rolled his eyes. "It's probably other players. Meaning Gary was probably in the same condition."

"They look like they were there for days, weeks, maybe even months... Gary was killed the day he was taken in," Osra bit on his thumb nail.

Jade nodded, "they must be important people if you said they were locked up. Technically we are too, but we still have some liberties."

"You guys sound like you're getting onto something," Osra nodded as he stood up. He grabbed his tray of food and dumped it as the others watched in confusion, "I'll be back with you guys soon, okay?"

"This is why he should be banned," Alan rolled his eyes, "if you leave now, you'll be -"

"-safe. Go on," Silver nodded as Osra smiled. "You don't even have to meet us here in the morning. It's only for the people who left to the vents to give us an information dump. Since you already did, you can go. We can talk about things later too, of course."

Jack smirked as he sat with his arms crossed, "you going to see Ahri?" Osra bit his lip as he nodded silently. "You haven't changed at all, buddy. Just don't spill anything, this plan of ours can get us into some serious trouble, and you know that."

"Your waste of time, Josh," Herzog rolled his eyes as he began to walk away, "she'll get you killed, dude."

Osra turned around and gave him a thumbs up before leaving.