DEDICATED TO MistaDavo.

   "How is she please? " Umar asked a nurse who came out from the ward. As usual, she ignored him and he felt like strangling her. They've been here for over an hour and thirty minutes but he has no idea what's going on. No one gave them a feedback including Dr Kelvin. He walked back to the empty seat and sat grabbing his head with both sides. "Ummu was by his left side with Maman Sadiya consoling her as she cried her heart out.
"It's OK Ummu. She'll be fine In SHA ALLAH " he managed to say wishing he was good in consoling people. He flinched remembering how helpless she looked in his arms as he carried her to the car. "Ya Allah! Grant her Shifa please" he prayed silently.
"Mr Umar" he heard his name and suddenly looked up. He saw Dr Kelvin standing in front of him with his glasses in his hands as he wiped his face. "How is my daughter Doctor? Is she alright? Can I see her?" Ummu asked. On a normal day, Umar would have commented on her accent but today is no normal day.
"She's fine Madam. A moment Mr Umar". Umar smiled at Ummu before following the doctor. "How is she Doctor? " he asked the moment the doctor drained the glass of water. He wiped his mouth with a handkerchief "Well, I can't really say she's fine. Her condition bad."
"What's wrong with her Doctor? Please tell me".
Umar went limp as the doctor explained Minal's health condition. He suddenly began to feel dizzy and nauseous. He watched the doctor's mouth move but he could no longer digest what they said to him. "Exocrine tumor?" he repeated. "Pancreatitis".. "Stage IV" he kept repeating as he made his way to the door. It was so obvious he was going out of his mind. Doctor Kelvin quickly reached him, sat him down and then poured him a glass of water. His eyes were red and his whole body shook.
"Innalillahi WA Inna ilaihi rajiu " he repeated severally before draining the glass of water. "Is there no way it could be cured" he asked. His voice broke as he spoke and the tears were already finding their way to his cheeks. "I wish there was but hers have reached the fourth stage where it has moved to other organs."
Umar grabbed his collar and in a swift move, he pinned him to the wall.
"Why didn't you inform me. Why didn't you inform anyone? Why?!! " The frightened Doctor Who made no attempt to free himself felt the grip loosen. It wasn't his fault. She told him she had no family but he was a fool for believing.
"Umar! What did the doctor say? " Ummu asked rushing towards him. "Tell me please. Is my Minal fine. Is she.. " she paused reading his expression. "Nothing is fine Umar. Tell me. Tell me!!"
"She'll be fine Ummu. In SHA ALLAH. She's in need of our prayers. I'll be back shortly. Let me go get some drugs. " he managed to say and left quickly. "Oh My Minal. May Allah grant you Shifa. " she sat down and continued to wipe her tears with the hem of her Lappaya remembering how strong her daughter was before she left home in the morning.

Umar sat in his car unable to do anything. He couldn't think of anything. All he could do was to blame himself. Was to feel guilty. Why haven't he noticed something was wrong earlier. Why didn't he realize she wasn't well and look for every possible way to make she's treated. All these wouldn't have happened if he was loving, caring and observant. "Ya Allah! Don't let Minal die. At least not so soon. Ya Allah! Make her live long to mother my kids. Ya Allah! Make her live long enough to see our grandchildren " be prayed in a shaky voice.
He fished out his phone and went through her messages. She was sure trying to make him have a glimpse. She was giving him a sign but he was too foolish not to have noticed.
Whenever he talked about their future which was before she changed her attitudes towards him, her reply was always "May Allah spare our lives". She always spoke of death which always pissed him off.
"Stop getting mad at me when ever I mention death. We'll all definitely die. Someday " she'll say smiling sweetly at hi..
"I know Minal's. But you talk as if you'll die the next day or soon. It scares the hell out of me"
" Who knows if I'll die soon? What are you scared of Umar?" she'll ask.
"I'm afraid of loosing you Minal. I want to grow old with you. I want to see your hair turn grey. I want to witness when old age will force you to stop wearing makeup"

He wiped his face with shaky hands. "just don't cry when I die okay." he voice echoed in his brain.
He texted his mum and Al-Amin and refused to pick any of their calls after wards.

Minal was awake by the time he finally gathered the strength to check in on her. Ummu must have been informed because she was just sited at the far end of the room unable to move a finger. Minal didn't expect her mother to take this calmly. When Dr Kelvin informed her, she didn't utter a word but rather, she found a sit. She was lost in another world and Minal was afraid if anything should happen to her mother. There were no tears streaming down her cheeks and no sob sounds but inside her she was bleeding and broken into pieces.
The door gently opened and there he stood with his hands unusually by his side and not in his pocket. His eyes and face were red. He walked slowly towards where she lay and stood while watching her. She gave him the "I am fine"smile but that didn't move him. He's full of annoyance because Minal betrayed him. Not only him but her family especially her poor mother who seemed to be lost in another world.
Everything happen so fast that no one noticed Ummu approach them and his Minal twice. On the face. He was shocked as he quickly took some steps back while Minal cried into her palm.
"Why did you do this to me Minal. Why didn't you inform me since you found out? Why?!" Ummu cried. Minal couldn't answer. She was crying so hard and Umar himself couldn't help but do the same.
Ummu was crying so hard and at the same time, she was vigorously shaking Minal. "Tell me. Why didn't you inform me? Don't I deserve to know as hour mother? Do you despise me so much?"
Umar walked towards her. She leaned on his shoulder pouring her heart out as he led her out of the ward. She sat down then he rushed to get a bottle of water. "Take this Ummu. Please!" He was trying as much as he could not to also break down. He must be strong in order for him to calm Ummu. She drained half of the bottle and gave him the rest.
"I'm not a good mother" she said breaking the awkward silence. "Umar am I not meant to be the first person to know of Minal's health condition? I was meant to keep an eye and when I notice something is wrong, then I rush her to the hospital but no! I failed my duties. Sagir won't be proud of me as he used to when he learns of this."
"It's not your fault Ummu. What has" she placed her hand on his stopping him. "No Umar. Don't try to console me. I know I don't deserve the "best mother" award. I noticed Minal have lost weight and she looks sick at times. I also noticed she wasn't the same as she used to. But the biggest mistake I made was to believe her when she said "Nothing is wrong?". She wiped her face with her hijab and continued. "Won't you call me a fool for not realizing Minal has been visiting the doctor for the past five months. Ya Allah! You are aware of the present situation I'm in. Ya Allah, protect my Minal and please grant her quick Shifa. Ya Allah! Don't make me loose her too soon. At least not when she hasn't played with her grandchildren.

Al-Amin came with his wife Nabilah three days after the incident. Daddy came on that day so he must have informed them Hajiya and Amma. Umar's mother came a day after surprisingly with Hajiya and Amma. Umar was beyond shocked when Hajiya asked for Minal's forgiveness.
"Minal I'm so sorry for all the pains I've put you through. Forgive me for my selfish acts Minal. I was the one who convinced Nasir's parents to force him call of the wedding. Shock was written all over their faces as they watched Hajiya who continuously wiped her face. His phone rang and he was surprised when Daddy's name appeared on the screen. "Meet me in the parking lot" he
said and hung up. Umar excused himself and exited the ward wondering why dad wanted to meet him.
"I called you out here concerning Minal. I didn't want to upset her mother. " he said.
"Daddy is everything alright?" Umar asked and he shook his head. "Nothing is alright I must tell you. There's no way Minal can be treated. The cancer has affected other organs. It's too late" he said in a shaky voice. He entered his car and zoomed off not wanting to go back inside. He just couldn't face Minal. He just can't believe he's going to loose her.
He parked his car some few meters away from the hospital. He reached out for his phone and was beyond surprised when he saw a message from Minal.

I'm so sorry Habibi for all the troubles I've caused you. I knew I would be dying but couldn't gather the courage to inform either you or Ummu. Neither did I want anyone to look at me with pity or become someone's priority. I felt it was better to just leave without any sign than to give signs that will cause you troubles before and after my death. I changed completely towards you not because I stopped loving you but because I wanted you to get used to my absence and quickly move on. Include me in your du'a please Umar Faruk. Jazakallah khairan

_Habibaty💞

His handkerchief was already soaked by the time he finished reading the message. "No Minal. You aren't going to die. Not now In SHA ALLAH. You still have our babies to make and our grandchildren to play with. You have to complete half of my Deen Minal. Please!

Amma was angry with her mother and left without even saying a word to her. How could she? How could she go ahead with her plan after all she pleaded. There is a restaurant some blocks away from the hospital and she decided to go there before her cousin comes to pick them.
"Umar?!" she said stopping dead on her track. That's definitely him sitting alone inside his car. He was looking so lost and broken and Amma felt sorry for him aware of all he's going through.
She rejected him when he became an invalid. But Minal was there for him when he lost hope of getting married. Since the day he appeared in the house back on his feet, she has been looking for an opportunity to meet him. Not because she wants them to be back but to seek for forgiveness and ask for a new start.
She has come to realize that she never like UMAR. Was it lust? She has no idea. She decided to use the opportunity to talk things out with him and even console him. She quickened her pace and her hands started to shake as she got closer.
"Ya Umar!" she repeated for the third time before he slowly raised his head. He was shocked to see her and kept wondering how she got track of him.
"Come in Amma" he said and his voice made her hesitate before she complied.
"How did you know I was here?" he asked breaking the awkward silence. She explained to him and there was another moment of silence before she spoke.
"Yaya. I'm sorry about all that happened. I... "
"No Amma" he said cutting her off. "There's no need to be sorry. I guess it happened for the best. You are happy with Yasir right? "
He asked and she nodded. "I'm glad you are."
"I'm sorry about Minal" she said after another moment of silence. He shook his head and turned so she wouldn't see the tears that had already formed in his eyes.
"I can't believe I'm loosing Minal Amma. You are aware of the fact that she's my first love. How am I going to cope when I realize she no longer breathes?"
He didn't succeed in stopping the tears from streaming down his cheeks.
"You won't loose her In SHA ALLAH. Let's just keep hoping and pray. Don't listen to all the doctors are saying. Allah alone has the right to take someone's life so they can't predict whether she's going to live or die. " she wiped her tears and continued.
"Minal has gone through a lot and In SHA ALLAH, she won't leave without knowing what it is to be a happy child once again. Let's keep praying and hoping Ya Umar. Allah is going to heal our Minal In SHA ALLAH."

You all heard what Amma said? Let's keep hoping and praying.

Enjoy💞💞