AN - Hi everyone, I have just put Highland Dream forward for the Wattys! Exciting times, here is a chapter for you, and me to celebrate plucking up the courage to put it forward, you all gave such great feedback on highland dream, so thanks! Enjoy the chapter, Az x

Chapter 10

                Rohesia wrung her hands pacing back and forth a little. Four steps forward, sharp about turn, fours steps back the opposite way. She had spent the last half an hour pacing this way. The tiny room in which she slept was more cage than ever at that moment. She had told him she wished to rest, but what she could not take was watching as he worried himself, but would not tell her any of what he worried of. However, she could not think of it at that moment, she was more worried over the fact that Alfred was still within when he should have left hours ago. With each passing moment she was losing her nerve. She was not sure if she could go through with her deal, even if she had been the one to make it.

                Worrying her bottom lip with her teeth as she paced, she could feel the frustration boiling up inside of her. Making her antsy and unable to sit and be calm as she could have done at any other point in her life. She was nervous and could not hide it from the vigilant Alfred, even in his own preoccupation he was starting to notice her unusual behaviour, feigning a pain to the head would not hide her true issue for long, but it gave her some time to try and gain some composure for the first time since she had waved Artair off. Well, not literally, but from the moment he walked out of the door this feeling had been creeping up within her.

                She was terrified that Artair would turn up with Alfred still in. But then he had promised he would know, and only come when he had gone. She could not help but believe him in that, while at the same time still be completely terrified that she was going to have to deal with Alfred defending her against one who was…safe. She would have to give Alfred a reason, and she could not tell him of her thoughts. The disappointment would tear her apart, and without his full support she knew she could not survive. Whilst something had gone wrong in his negotiations, she knew that he would not give up until his task was complete. She would be married as soon as she could be, and to someone he thought would treat her well. He just did not know who at that moment, and as it was, that meant she still wanted the control over who she could give herself too for that first time. Even if it was the only time before her duty as wife took over.

                The thought of it being a frail old male with no teeth and a hygiene problem made her want to gag. She had nothing against the older male, nothing at all. In fact she had loved the time she spent with the elderly stable hand her father had kept, he had not minded her loss of hearing, and had helped her understand words by the reading of lips. But he had been old enough to be her grandfather, and his hands had been twisted and painful while he tried to work as hard as possible in gratitude to her father letting him stay on in his job. It was the thought of actually marrying one as old and wrinkled as he. She would do her duty, it was how she had been brought up, and she could do nothing to the contrary. But she would do it her way.

                Unfortunately that meant bringing Artair into her plans. It was unfair on him, she knew that, but she could not say that she would change what she had said, or his decision. It was only her nerves that was the issue now. Could she actually have the ability to go through with it? Did he think her a woman of loose morals? Her eyes widened, and she thumped down on the thin ticking, and slumped back against the wall…was that why he had agreed to this?

                She looked up at the ceiling above her. The grimy, splintered wood and plaster above her, she could not help the sighs that left her. Her breath leaving her mouth in a silent gust she knew would have made others turn to see where the sound had originated. Her brow furrowed. She did not wish Artair to see her in that way. She did not look like the lady of the Keep she had once looked, but she did not think she looked as if she were one of the women she had seen out in the street of an evening. Freezing themselves, and looking seriously ill, just so they could acquire a few coins to survive till the next night, where they were again trying once more to sell the only thing they had. Themselves.

                Did she seem to be one of those women to Artair? Or did he think she was willing to go down that road due to the rooms she abided in, and the fact that she lived unwed with another male. No matter that that male was actually her father’s most trusted man, and he would never look at her in that way without harming himself firstly. Her breathing increased, and she stood once more pacing back and forth again. Her nerves would not lessen with time, they were only ramping up to levels where she knew Alfred would probably feel them in the next room. Chewing on her thumb nail as she paced, she had the fleeting thought that she had believed she was over this little habit. But apparently in times of heightened stress it came back, such as time like this, which she had put herself into, she knew that. It did not make it any easier though.

                A floor board moved under her foot. Her gaze flew upwards, and she knew that particular floor board connected to the other room. Alfred was on the move. She dove for the small bed, and curled on her side facing the wall. The blanket haphazardly pulled around her. Her heart pounding as she forced her breathing to slow down enough to pass, somewhat for sleep. Or so she hoped.

                Not being able to hear really was a pain at times. For she could not tell if Alfred had entered the room with both her eyes closed, and her hearing non-existent. All she could do was count and wait. It was not long before Alfred mad his move his steps heavy enough to shake the fame of her bed slightly, the floor bouncing a little with his weight. His large hand closed over her shoulder gently and shook her lightly, the way he always woke her when he wanted her to sleep more. She usually woke before him, never wanting to be caught sleeping in with her mother on the prowl. But since coming to Edinburgh the cold weather had overcome her, sniffles and coughs had abounded over the last few months, and she had slept in only a few times. Enough to leave Alfred unafraid of her doom, but too many for her at that very moment.

                Reacting slowly, as if she was just waking, she looked over her shoulder, and the look in Alfred’s eyes told her he was not fooled, but he played along with her anyway. “I am sorry to wake you, but I wanted you to know that I am leaving for a few hours.” His eyes were so serious she wondered what had happened since she had been within this tiny room. She pushed herself up on her elbows her brow furrowing once more. “Alfred, what has happened?”

                He winced and she knew something had gone worse than he had hinted at before. He only shook his head, and her stomach tightened, he was not going to tell her at this point and that left her in the dark as well as the silence at this point. He looked away from her, before finally dragging his gaze back to hers. “I will sort this out, which is all you need to know right now. Have a little faith in me and I will make sure all is well, I promise.” He looked so solemn that she could not hold back, she moved slowly and let him know her actions beforehand, but her arms enclosed his neck, and he only stiffened a little. She wanted to show him that she appreciated all he was doing for her, but she knew that he would not be able to allow himself to reciprocate. He still saw her as his master’s daughter, and she did not see herself as that woman anymore.

                She believed she was on the same level, if not lower than Alfred on the social scale now. But she could not take back the hug, even as she backed out of it. He was tense, and a little red in his cheeks, but when she looked into his eyes they had softened a little. “Do you know how long you will be? You only said a few hours.” She was asking out of concern for her confidant and protector, but a small part of her wondered how long she would have if a certain highlander turned up at her door.

                “I may be out until after dark. But I promise I will return this evening at the latest.” She nodded, and he looked distracted once more. Patting her once on the shoulder he stood, turning once at the door. “I will be back.” She nodded and smiled, hoping that it did not looked strained at all. Taking a deep breath as he closed the door, she fell back upon the bed. Gusting air out of her lungs as she did so. Things seemed to be going badly, and yet all she could think of was if a little bit of her loneliness would be taken away. Maybe one person who did not know of her deafness could find her a woman for once in her life, before she was carted off to be the wife of a Scotsman somewhere in the middle of a country she had knowledge of beyond a few Gaelic words.

                 Artair was freezing, and certain parts of his body were in questionable working order at that moment as snow drifted around him in a swirling flurry. It had been hours, and he knew he needed to leave soon or Rohesia would most likely find his frozen body come the morrow. But a small voice in the back of his mind told him to wait, it was tenacious and would not let him give up, not on this, not on her. If he left now, she would think he did not care enough to return, and in fact the opposite was true, he had never been more eager for anything in his life, and not for what she wanted, but just to look upon her once more. To talk with her and maybe see her smile upon him because of something he had said.

                His wistful thinking was interrupted as the large bulky frame of Alfred, crossed his vision, leaving just at the point he needed him to the most. Coming away from his position against the building on the opposite side of the street, he knew that it was now or never. Rubbing his numb fingers together, he set off across the street. He could hold back no longer. He had dreamed of her last night, and he needed to make sure she was real once more. And not just a fading figment of his imagination.