My heart had been pounding in my chest since that day a fortnight ago.  I kept to myself these fourteen days as I stayed locked up in my disney land-like bedroom and stared at my computer, keeping myself busy. Keeping myself busy.

Fairy lights decorated the walls and canvases that were now stripped of all color as I looked at them. My whole world felt black or white. Accept Namjoon or Reject Namjoon. The only thought that didn't make a strand of sense as it passed through me was why I had to consider the options in the first place.

I remembered the kiss.

I remembered the way he held me.

I remembered the tears

and I remembered the smiles.

I remembered our friendship

And I remembered my shattered heart.

I remembered seeing Namjoon with Sura all those times and times ago

and I remembered running away from that world each time.

I remembered

but none of it made sense.

I shut my laptop closed as I looked outside my bedroom window. It was snowing outside, quite rarely I see snow I thought as I moved closer to it.

I opened the window sill and my hand was floating in the wind before I had willed it to. Tiny snowflakes melted with a small hiss at my touch. I smiled admiring the beauty of each piece of delicate snow. 

If I let you stay in my heart will I,

Like the tiny dust, tiny dust floating in the air 

Will I get to you a little faster

If I was the snow in the air

I miss you.