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CELLA LINGERED IN THE ENTRYWAY to the living room, eyes stuck on dick's now sober body and the way the sun draped over his bare skin.

he laid shirtless on the small couch, having been the only piece of furniture to be uncovered in the room next to an end table.

cella thought back to the previous night, how every drunken word dick had said hung between them like hanging lights.

"i can feel you staring." he had said last night as she moved around the house trying to find blankets and pillows as he had insisted on following after her.

"i don't stare at anyone." she had told him simply, she told herself not to say much because she knew he wouldn't remember in the morning, but she found even the dullest of comments didn't matter to him as drunk dick grayson seemed to say what ever came to mind.

"you used to at least look at me, before everything," he had commented, making cella go mute, "you used to talk to me, you used to care about me." every word in his sentence seemed to be apart of a long confession because even after he seemed to finish talking cella could always sense he wanted to say more.

"you're drunk, dick," she had told him, "we'll talk later."

"i want to talk now."

cella remembered how sad he was, by the time they had made it back her medicine had worn off and she assumed dick had forgotten she could sense his emotions — and now fears. his words became more and more desperate before he ultimately fell asleep, his face turned to where she sat on the table in front of him as if he knew she would leave.

by then she could tell he was coming to as it became harder to sense how he felt and all she could do was try to interpret the lines that painted his forehead.

it was then that she stood in the doorway watching him sleep that she finally looked at him, studied the man before her, the boy she used to love.

"i can feel you staring," dick murmured, opening one eye to smile at her tiredly, "i'd do the same."

"you've become cocky now too?" she amused, moving to sit against the wall as he shifted to sit upright on the couch.

"too? what else have i become, cella?" he teased.

"a drunk." she stated bluntly, giving him knowing look. "why were you even drinking that much, dick? you know it's not good for you."

dick's gaze went from soft to serious in a second and cella feared it was the wrong time to be having this conversation, "you were talking to other people."

"so you were jealous?"

dick shook his head, "you were talking to other people and wouldn't even open up the door for me," he explained frustratedly, "i'm the one person you should want to see and you blocked me out without any reason, i mean you didn't even tell me why you just refused to see me," the tips of his ears began to turn red as he spoke, "it's been weeks and you've talked to everyone but me! i had to get fucking drunk just to get a conversation with you and all you could do is tell me what i was." his last words came out more vulnerable than he anticipated as his face seemed to be sorting out its own separate emotions mid conversation.

"don't you think i had a reason for not wanting to see you." cella spoke in a low voice, her gaze on her feet, "i was scared, dick. it's been three years."

"you could've told me that." he argued, trying to get her to meet his eyes from across the room, "you just have to communicate."

"i haven't had anyone besides myself for three years!" she yelled suddenly, scaring herself as she hadn't heard the words out loud, "i haven't had anyone but myself for three years." she said, softer now as her head began to sting, "it might not seem like a long time to you but it felt like forever for me, it was me, my powers, and my thoughts, i was miserable — i am miserable." she confessed.

there was a beat of silence as cella heard dick move towards her, his now lengthy but full figure shadowing hers.

"we can be miserable together," dick spoke, placing a tender hand on her neck, grateful she welcomed the touch. "i fought for you to get out and i'll fight for your peace now, cell."

cella kept her emotions contained as their skin touched, she could feel her fears wanting to seep out of her skin into his but she held back, letting fresh tears escape her eyes at his words, her walls further breaking.

"i know i wasn't there when i needed to be, i know that now," he said, "but nothing is going to stop me from giving you the peace in life you deserve, let me be that for you — i want to be the stability in your life, i want to be the one to make sure you have everything you've ever wanted."

"dick ..." she breathed out, eager to speak but dick shook his head, it was like he couldn't keep the words to himself anymore and he just needed her to listen.

"i want to be the reason you smile, i want to be the one you go to when your powers become too much and you need someone to distract you from yourself," dick took cella's hands in his, hoping she could feel how sincere and thought out his words were as he had been thinking about this moment for years, what he would say and how he would say it.

he knew she was holding back, he could tell by the way her body trembled though she tried to make it unknown, "i want to learn who this new cella is, inside and out, all the bad and the good i want to be there to see it." he whispered, kissing her knuckles thoughtfully, "i've been yours since we were kids. i loved you at seventeen, even at twenty i'm more enamored with your entire being than ever before."

cella let a teary laugh escape her lips, feeling overwhelmed in the best way as she listened to dick's confession, feeling herself relax more as he went on.

"there's never been a day that i didn't stop to think about you cella. if you'll have me i'd love to be apart of your life again, and hopefully your future because in every version of mine you're right there next to me."

cella couldn't give him a formal answer as she let out a choked sob and dick instinctively went to hold her in his arms as if they were shielding her from all the bad in the world.

cella let her tears and emotions flow from her body to dick's as she laid her head on his bare chest, taking in the faint scent of cinnamon and alcohol yet she swore she could still smell the lingering cologne he wore, the one she had told him all those years ago that she had loved on him one night, this only made her cry harder.

she hadn't felt comfortable enough to allow herself to show this much emotion at belle reve. after they had given her the name ghost, she found herself only wanting to be perceived as tough, she knew no one would take an emotional girl serious in prison of all places, especially not somewhere like belle reve.

she cried for all the years she sat alone with her thoughts, wondering if it was safer to just stay locked away in her cell or better to just be in the world unknown, though she knew she'd be found.

and now as she sobbed into dick's chest she was glad she was.

he had found her when they were seventeen and he had found her again when they were twenty, drunk of course, but cella found she didn't mind.

her tears let her wander through her doubts, ones that had seemingly disappeared as dick spoke like everything would be alright between them, then she remembered,

"dick, i — i lied about —"

"i know." he interrupted, nestling his head in her curls, hugging her closer, "the doctors told us you never spoke. i never blamed you for it, i only wished you knew i was there for you."

cella looked up to meet his eyes, "i didn't want to hurt you." she explained, her voice shaking. "i never wanted to be the one to cause you any pain so i pushed you away without any explanation and i hurt you more." she breathed out, her eyes glossy. "i don't deserve you."

dick shook his head, cupping her neck so she couldn't look away, his voice stern as he said, "don't say that. i couldn't have known what pain you were going through to help you," he said, "and even if i did know, we still had spent so much time arguing that by the time you were gone i felt bad because i started most of the arguments."

cella looked at him in protest but he gave her a challenging look, "i was wrong. i was scared of losing you and it just made me so angry that we were arguing so much we never had time to enjoy each other before you were gone." he confessed. "i know we weren't perfect — i wasn't perfect and i know i never will be," dick pulled her closer so that their bodies were flush against one another, their foreheads touching. "all i know now is that i'm better with you, i want to grow with you the right way. i'm done being afraid of you leaving."

"i won't shut you out again." she added, feeling her heartbeat quicken. "i won't be afraid to show you what goes on in my mind because i promise to never hurt you."

the air between them seemed to still as cella found herself tracing dick's face with her eyes, lingering on his lips as a dangerous look crossed his features, his grip tightening as she was pulled impossibly closer to him, a spark igniting in her body that she hadn't thought had been there.

she needed him and he needed her, she was sure he could feel her desire because she could feel his and it only emphasized their wanting.

"i'm yours." dick reminded lowly, drawing shapes into her hips, "i'm yours when you want me."

cella allowed herself to reflect, for just a moment, thinking of all his words and her realizations and she knew she was safe, she knew she was loved and could love the man below her.

she had someone who would find and fight for her no matter what and cella felt grateful after years of thinking she wasn't deserving of it.

her heart, once empty was now full of hope. she was appreciative of the second chance she had gotten to have someone so special be able to understand her on a level that was deeper than anyone else.

it was a mutual reassurance that they would be okay, that their confessions at seventeen were not just empty words but promises for later.

"i want you," she spoke after a while, feeling their breaths mix as their lips touched for the first time in three years and their need for each other as adults only intensified.

with each kiss they silently forgave one another for everything in the past, knowing now that it was out of fear and miscommunication, something they would never let break them apart again.

so when dick lays cella down on a bed in the barlow mansion, his eyes full of lust as he asks her if she trusts him, she responds with no hesitation and the only sound that can be heard is their heartbeats and newfound love.

the end