It was the middle of the night as snow fell down and a train sped along the tracks. Inside the train a gun fired before a man is kicked out and has to hold onto a bar on the side of the carriage  to avoid falling to the icy depths below.

Harley appears in the doorway of the train now. "Dasvidaniya suka!" Harley cries as she kicks the man causing him lose his grip.

"You speak Russian?" Another one of the guards on the train says to Harley now. 

"I can only say two things. Is this Gluten Free? And the other one." Harley replies before she finds herself dodging a blade. She takes out her bat now using it to knock the guy out before she turns to view the prize she was after. 

It was a nuclear warhead sat behind a a well protected door that needed several keys to open. Harley looks at the guard she had just knocked out to find he had a key on him. Harley places the key in door and turns it but a buzzing sounds out and Harley looks to the side to see another key is needed to be turned at the same time. It takes Harley a few minutes to find the second key and even more time to find a position that allowed her to turn the keys.   

 "Yes!" Harley says finally turning both keys in time However the buzzer sounds once again and Harley looks up to see there is a third key slot out of reach. "Oh, God! Are you shittin' me?" 

A door at the opposite end of the train carriage is cut open with a blow torch now as Joker appears in it's doorway.

"Joker!" Harley says surprised causing her to fall. "This is my score." She says picking herself up.

"Well, it was." Joker says clicking his fingers and several henchman enter the carriage now. They take the keys from Harley and the last key from the knocked out guard and open the door to the warhead with ease. One of the goons picks it up and hands it to Joker. "But it's mine now." 

"The only reason you're getting this and I'm not, is you got a bunch of goons that do whatever you say." Harley says to Joker. 

"That's not true! Goons, throw Harley out." Joker commands. 

"Whatever you say, boss." The goons say as they grab Harley and hurl her out of the train into a river below.

 Ivy was pouring herself a coffee when the door to her apartment flew open and she turns her head to see Harley.

"I need a fucking crew." Harley says sounding tired.

"No, you need a shower." Ivy comments.

Harley was now cleaned up after a shower as she walked into the apartment living room to see Y/n, Frank and Ivy. 

"So, I assume you didn't get this warhead you wanted?" Y/n comments.

"No. Joker stole it 'cause he had a crew. Like all real supervillains." Harley complains.

 "I mean, I get by just fine on my own. So..."  Ivy says as some of her vines pour her fresh coffee and give her a shoulder massage.

"Your independence is quite inspiring." Frank says sarcastically. 

"Oh, can it, Frank." Ivy says. 

"I love you, Ivy." Frank quickly says back. 

"You know, Y/n, Ive, I could have really used your help out there." Harley says to the two now.

"I'm sorry Harley but right now I have no real interest in getting back into organised crime. I have research I need to finish." Y/n informs her.   

"Honestly Harls, I really think that crews are over-rated. You know, it's like, some very successful supervillains work alone." Ivy says as she points to the TV. "Like look at this guy. Look at Dr. Psycho. Perfect example. Doesn't have a crew, yet still taking on Wonder Woman. Like a champ."  

Y/n and Harley turned their heads to look at the TV which was showing a fight that was currently happening in the downtown Gotham area.

Dr Psycho was using he telekinetic powers to hurl cars and Wonder Woman who was using her shield to dodge them.  

"Still too scared to fight me with your own hands, Psycho?" Wonder Woman asks.

"What a grand idea!" Dr Psycho chuckles as he begins to form a pair of hands of telekinetic energy to begin choking Wonder Woman who struggles.  

"I'm sorry. What's that? You really want your last words to be..." Dr Psycho says before he  begins to mimic Wonder Woman chocking until she breaks the energy hands knocking Dr Psycho back causing him to hit his head on a lamppost. "That really hurt, you Cunt!"

Everyone gasps in shock at his use of the word.

"How Sordid." Y/n comments.

"Holy shit!" Ivy says surprised. 

"Well, see! If he had a crew, that would have told him to use the B word instead. And if I had one, I'd use that warhead to blackmail Gotham into naming a highway after me." Harley says.

 "Huh? A highway. All right. Well, you know, that took a weird turn." Ivy says taking in what Harley had just said.

Harley was sat in a waiting room now as she played with her hair. She could soon hear footsteps approaching and she looks up now to see what appeared to be Dr Psycho walking with two men.

"So you're certain this whole cunt thing is gonna blow over, right?" Psycho asks them.

"Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah. A few talk show appearances..." 

"Cry about how you love your wife." 

"It's exactly what we had Mr. Freeze do when he exposed himself at the Gotham water park." 

"You guys fixed that? Wow, you're good." Psycho says surprised. "And by good, I mean bad!" Dr Psycho jokes with them as he walks out now. The two men he had been speaking to notice Harley now.

"Ms. Quinn, we've been expecting you." They say eagerly.

"Thank you." Harley says getting up. 

"Let's get you henched up." 

The three were in meeting room now as Harley was sat looking at henchmen being projected on a screen.

"That's Cronk. He's muscle. If you don't mind crazy roid rage, he's your man. The Professor, he's brainy. So smart." The two men say as they read through the list. 

"He's not brainy with names though, huh?" Harley jokes. 

"Oh, my God, so right." The two men reply  laughing. "Beautiful. Meet Blaze! Explosive. Lotta buzz on him. Boom. Lotta chatter. Lotta heat. Yes, and if you don't take him today, he'll have seven offers tomorrow. Goodbye."

"Hell, I'll take 'em all. I'll crush Joker with this team behind me." Harley says satisfied. 

The two men look at each other for a moment. " I...I thought you were his girlfriend."

"No. I dumped that bum weeks ago." Harley says.

" You didn't go back to him?" One of the men asks.

"Yeah, like you always do." The other comments.

"No. I'm on my own now. So, when can these guys start?" Harley asks. 

"I'm sorry. These men are unavailable." One of the men says turning off the projector now.

"For how long?" Harley asks confused by the sudden change in behaviour.

"For... Ever?" One of the men says 

"Yeah. Yeah, forever." The other adds.

"Well, I don't need ya." Harley says getting up now. "I don't need any of ya! I'll put together my own crew who's excited to work with a real up-and-comer." Harley shouts storming out.

"If you get back together with Joker, our doors are always..." One of the men starts to say but Harley closes the door on him.

Back at Ivy's apartment Y/n was admiring a vial filled with blood with an unimpressed look. 

"The results are not coming along as I had hoped." He muses as he noted down the results. Once done Y/n places down the vial in his hand and sits down on the sofa bed he had slowly been growing accustomed too before letting out a sigh of both tiredness and frustration.

Harley pushed open a set of doors to a bar as she walks in and jumps onto the bar getting the patrons attention. "Hey! Hey! Hey, you! Are you tired of being a lousy sidekick? Abused, shit on, used as a human shield? Then come work for me. You'll get top dollar, great benefits, and I won't ever, knowingly, send you to your deaths." Harley calls out.

 "Wait, was she talking about a job where we don't have to jump into hell portals and definitely die?" A guy in a line to a portal asks. 

"Oh, just shut up and jump." The man commanding the portal says.

The man sighs jumping in before he can be heard screaming. " I'm definitely dying!" 

"I promise you it'll be better than that. Join me, and we'll be doing million dollar heists in no time. Who's with me?" Harley asks. 

"Can't."

"Busy." 

"I got a family emergency." 

"I have a thing." A final guy says as he run and jumps into the portal from earlier to avoid Harley.

"Assholes." Harley sighs giving up as she begins climbing down from the bar to sit in a seat. 

"No. No. No. No. Before you open your female trap, no way in hell I'm working for you." A voice says and Harley looks to see Dr Psycho sat drinking beside her.

" Who asked ya?" She replies. "Can you believe cunt guy's rejecting me?"  She says the bartender sets her down a drink.

"Well, ma'am, I don't know nothing about that. I'm just a simply farm boy from Oklahoma. I got two parents, three girls, four boys, two lab mixes, both uncut on a small ranch just outside of Muskogee." The bartender say.

 "What's your problem, weirdo?" Harley asks him. 

"Why, Ms... I don't have no problem, because I am actually... " He begins to spin as his form changes into a clay like figure that covers Harley and Psycho in clay.

"Jeez." Harley groans.

"Good, fuckin' God." Psycho complains as he wipes himself clean. 

"The name is Clayface. Thespian extraordinaire recently portraying the juicy role of country boy bartending in the big city." The figure says introducing himself.

"I thought you were playing the role of literal piece of shit." Psycho comments.

"Not yet." Clayface says before he starts spinning again and this time he changes into a copy of Dr Psycho. 

"Ugh. It's in my hair." Harley complains.

"Now I'm a literal piece of shit." Clayface says.

 "Okay." Dr Psycho says jumping over the bar and engaging in a fist fight with his doppelganger as Harley watches bored. "Is it Clayface or Fuckface!?" Psycho shouts.

At that moment Kite Man lands at the bar entrance.

"Hey! Kite Man here." He calls out getting people's attention. "Thinking about doing a caper, gang. Not sure what, might steal something, might kidnap somebody. I don't know, uh, depending on the weather. But Kite will be involved. Who's in?" He asks.

"I am!" A guy immediately says. 

"Let's do this!" Another cries as the bar's patrons all rush out to follow Kite man.

"I do not fucking believe this." Harley says in disbelief.

Y/n walked out of his room to see Harley complaining to Ivy who was watering her plants. 

"And then, they all ran off with that loser Kite Man." Harley says coming to the end of her rant.

"No luck at the bar?" Y/n asks and Harley look at him with a deadpan look before she sits down on the couch. 

"There must be something I'm missing. How do I get people to work for me?" Harley ponders. 

"Ivy has no fuckin' idea. Because plants do all this shit for her lazy ass." Frank says making himself noticed now and Ivy sighs at his statement.

"There must be someone who can gimme the inside scoop." Harley says looking at the Tv screen. 

"Babe, what real supervillain is gonna give away their trade secrets?" Ivy says to her.

"Well, maybe not "give away." Harley says now.

Y/n, Harley and Ivy were sat in a packed out arena as a heavily muscled man slowly rose to the stage. The effects of lightning flash behind and the text "So you wanna be a Supervillan?" appears behind him.

   "I am Maxie Zeus! And tonight, I "max" all your dreams come true!" The man says as Harley watches on excited. 

Y/n and Ivy shared the opposite look however as they are sat looking disinterested.  

"This guy's such a douche." Ivy comments.

"I still do not under why I am here." Y/n adds.

"I'm sorry, but none of the charming villains with great personalities were holding seminars today." Harley replies sarcastically. 

"Joker. Riddler. Two-Face. What do they have that you don't?" Maxie asks the crowd. 

"A penis?" Ivy replies dryly. 

"No morals?" Y/n then comments.

"A crew!" Maxie says. "A villain goes in alone, but a supervillain needs henchmen. When I robbed the 1996 Olympics." Maxie has to pause as the crowd applauds. "Oh, thank you very much, just lovely. Fun times. My crew helped me steal those medals. And now I literally sleep on a pile of gold." 

"You guys hear that? Sleeps on gold!" Harley says to Y/n and Ivy.

"Honestly, with the amount of coke this guy does, I... doubt he's sleeping on anything." Ivy says back.

"So, how does one recruit goons? Through a henchmen agency, or from popular villain..." Maxie goes onto say until Harley sticks her hand up. 

"Oh, oh, oh, oh... " Harley says desperately wanting attention. 

"Yes. The juggler in the third row." Maxie says.

 "Mr. Zeus, I tried those things and they didn't work." Harley says.

"You can't let rejection stop you. Think about the big boys. Darkseid. Luthor. Maxie. Are we quitters? No! Neither are you!" Maxie says.

"Okay, I'm out." Ivy says finally having had enough. 

Y/n sighs as he looks at Harley's excitement before he rises to his own feet and walks out behind Ivy also having had enough.

Harley was backstage now as she opened the dressing room door to Maxie Zeus's room.  "Oh, sorry, sorry. Didn't know you were busy." 

"No, no. Come in. Just letting my legs breathe." Maxie says and Harley reopens the door. Maxie kicks the chair he had been resting his foot on across the room for Harley to sit on. 

"You were so inspiring. If you don't mind, I got a couple questions." Harley says.

"And I've got one big answer." Maxie says as he claps his hands. The lights dim and low music begins to play and curtain opens to reveal a topless painting of Maxie. 

"Wow. That's just like one of those paintings, you know, where the eyes follow you, except, nope, it's just your greased-up nipples." Harley says a little creeped out. 

"Just between us, I painted it. Shh." Maxie says. 

"Weird. So, hey, I was wondering if you'd just gimme some pointers." Harley says trying to steer the conversation back on track.

"Well, I can certainly give you one." Maxie says as he uncrosses his leg to reveal he is not wearing underwear to Harley.  

"Ah, got it! So you're just a creepy dick. I'm not fucking you." Harley says as she gets up now ready to walk out.

"Oh, really? You were laughed out of UTI." Maxie says as Harley stops in the doorway. "Yeah! Word gets around. You'll never get a crew! Because no bad guy will ever work for a woman. My two cents." Maxie says now. 

"Then here's mine. See a urologist, 'cause creepy dick wasn't just an insult, it was a concern." Harley says and Maxie looks down at his junk a moment. "And if no bad guy will work with me, then maybe I don't need a "bad guy." Harley says walking away.

Harley was now back at the apartment trying to convince Ivy to join her.

"Harley, I told you this, I work alone." Ivy says to her. 

"Alone-ish." Frank says.

"Don't even get me started right now." Ivy comments.

"Come on, Ive. With your ability to control all plant life on Earth, and my gymnastics, I mean, there's nothing we can't do if we team up." Harley says trying to convince her.

 "I said no. I mean, I got a brand. You know? It's like, adding gymnastics to it, it's a very muddled message." Ivy replies.

"Tell her the real reason, you lying motherfucker." Frank says causing Ivy to sigh.

 "Oh, God, here we go. All right, so look, there's a glass ceiling for female supervillains, okay? Like, sure, we're tolerated, but as long as we don't get too powerful." Ivy tells Harley now.

"Aren't you being a little dramatic?" Harley asks.

"Guess whose naive ass who hasn't heard of the Queen of Fables. Go on, Ivy, tell your story. I'll set the mood." Frank says as he uses one of his vines to lower the apartment lights. 

"All right, all right. Thanks, Frank. So, a long time ago, way back in the '80s. There was this powerful sorceress, right? She's known as the Queen of Fables. Fed up of being a footnote to the male supervillains, she decided to turn Gotham into an evil force by using sorcery to pull characters from the pages of storybooks. Until she had a whole army at her command." Ivy tells.  

"Well, what happened to her?" Harley asks. 

"Ask her yourself." Ivy says handing Harley a card now. Harley looks at the card now before she gets back up and leaves the apartment. At the sound of the apartment door closing Y/n's bedroom door opens.

"Harley is certainly determined to obtain this crew." He sighs as he lingers in the door of his room.

"I just hope this doesn't backfire ya know." Ivy comments.

Y/n muses as he looks back into his room at a certain suitcase.

Harley was entering a bleak tax building now as she heard a voice talking.

"FYI, bailin' out your klepto aunt with the snow globe fetish does not count. Next." The voice says as a figure walks past Harley out a door.

Harley stands in the doorway now ."Uh, hey, I'm looking for the Queen of Fables?" 

"Just found her, sweetie." The voice says and Harley looks around. "No. Why you lookin' up there for? Here." The voice says now and Harley looks down to see a book placed on a chair with a cigarette in it's pages of a mouth. "The book. Me. I'm stuck in this bullshit. I've got 20 minutes till my next appointment. What's up?" 

"Hey, my name's Harley Quinn. I'm a new supervillain, and I was told I should ask what happened to you." Harley says introducing herself. 

The book groans before it coughs a little. "All right, buckle up, honey, it's story time."  So there I was with my crew, a bunch of dumb storybook things, when the heroes showed up. Ugh! It was a horror. Goddman Superman rippin the head off of Pinocchio." 

"No, no, no. There's no way Superman did that." Harley says amused. 

"I exaggerate to add flavor. But the truth is, they punished me in a way no one has ever been punished. No! Instead of throwing me into Arkham like any male villain, they came up with this bullshit. I mean, a guy robs a bank, he's a criminal mastermind. A woman robs a bank... 

"She's a crazy bitch." Harley finishes.

 "Exactly! Think about it. A male supervillain can literally look like a deformed penguin, but God forbid we outshine them even a little bit, and into the fucking tax book we go, forever." Queen of Fables says.

"Yeah, you can get as big as you want, as long as you don't get bigger than them." Harley sighs.

"Yeah. You get it. And your ambition won't just hurt you, it'll hurt the people you care most about." Queen of Fables tells her.

At that moment a deformed gingerbread cookie on crutches appears in the doorway. "Birthday cake for the boss at 4:00." 

"Thanks, Mark." Queen of Fables says. 

"God, I hate this place. But at least I'm not on the streets turning tricks for cash anymore." Mark says. 

"Who knows. Maybe your story will turn out different." Queen of Fables says turning to Harley. "I couldn't get a crew 'cause no one believed in me. So I had to make my own by believing in stupid little things like Mark. No offense, Mark." 

Harley was walking back into the apartment living room as Ivy who lay on the couch sat up. "Queen of Fables, pretty fun, right?" She says to Harley who sits down beside her. 

"Oh, she was pretty bleak. Before I left she was like, "I have to use the bathroom. There, I did it. Did you send me to her because you think I can't do this?" Harley asks Ivy.

"No, Harley, I sent you there because I know that you can. Look... I just wanted you to know what you're up against, you know, 'cause I, uh... I love ya." Ivy says feeling awkward but Harley smiles. "Don't make a thing of it." But a tear drop falls on her shoulder and Ivy turns to see Frank crying. 

"Anybody feel this shit but me? A man can't show emotion!" Frank says wiping his plant eyes. 

"A man?" Ivy laughs a little. 

"Fuck you, Ivy." Frank replies. 

The sound of a bedroom closing gets everyone's attention and they look up to see Y/n dressed in a different outfit. 

"What with the fruity get up?" Frank laughs causing Y/n to furrow his brow and cross his arms.

"I keep work and home outfits separate. It keeps cleaning easier." Y/n replies.

"Work outfit?" Harley says.

"Yes, Work outfit." Y/n repeats before he turns to her. "Harley I will be the first to join your crew, but only on a temporary basis."

"Yes!" Harley says excited as she fists the air.

"You will?" Ivy asks surprised by this sudden change in Y/n. "I thought you were busy with your research?" Ivy asks.

"I will manage the two." Y/n replies now as he stands in front of Harley now. "Harley, Like Ivy I know that can do this. You just need a guide to help you along the way. Please allow me to be that guide." Y/n says.

"Hold up, How does she even know you are qualified to be in a crew?" Frank asks now.

"Well, actually I have run several successful crews of my own in the past." Y/n replies.

"So where are they now?" Frank asks and it causes to Y/n to falter for a moment as his mouth opens slightly. 

"It doesn't matter I'll take any help I can get." Harley is quick to say now.

Y/n recomposes himself now as he sits down on the couch. "First, You need to change the type of individual you wish to join your crew." Y/n says and Harley looks at him confused which Y/n quickly picks up on. "What you need to do is find people that no one believes in anymore. If you rely on people who believe in just you then your crew becomes useless. You have to be able to work as a highly coordinated team together if you wish to be successful. A leader is only as successful as their followers are.  You should also look to find people with potential that are not been giving the chance to show it, If you pick them up when they are at their lowest point they will remember and repay that favour." Y/n tries to explain.

"Yeah! " Harley says slowly starting to understand. "And I know just where to start." She says pointing to the Tv now. 

Upon the screen was Dr Psycho on a talk show called tawny with his wife a giant woman called Giganta.

"Welcome back. We have here Dr. Psycho." Tawny says and the crowd boos. "He says he's here to apologize for using the C word." Tawny continues.

"Woman hater!" A crowd member cries out.

"What? Hate women? I cherish them. No one on God's green Earth respects women like this one." Dr Psycho is quick to say.

"Giganta, girl, how you feelin' about all this?" Tawny asks. 

"She is devastated, that the world is attacking a man she knows is so kind, is so loving.." Dr Psycho begins to say.

"Let's hear it in her own words." Tawny interrupts. 

"Those are her own words. I'm a telepath, right? She thinks it, I say it. Isn't that right, honey? She said "Right." Dr Psycho laughs.

"She did not say "Right"! Did y'all hear her say "Right?" Tawny  asks the crowd 

"She was talking to me!" Giganta says getting up now. 

"Mmm-hmm." Tawny hums in agreement.

"An individual person who exists outside of you!" Giganta says now.  

"Go, girl." Tawny cheers. 

"A person who, for years you mind controlled..." Giganta continues. 

"Don't do this." Dr Psycho says now. 

"Into thinking they loved you!" 

"Do not do this!" Dr Psycho repeats.

"A person who is leaving you!" Giganta finally says walking away. 

"Why, you get back here, you miserable Cunt!" Dr Psycho says angrily.

"Holy shit!" Ivy laughs. "He just became the least employable person on Earth."

"Exactly." Harley says seeing an opportunity.

Harley had returned to the bar from the other night but this time Y/n had gone with her.  Both were sat at the bar as Harley spoke to Dr Psycho was was drinking alone. 

"So, you know, I thought, hey, maybe you should join me and my crew." Harley says to him. 

"Join you? I'm in the big leagues, mama. The L.O.D. The Legion of Doom. Hard pass!" Dr Psycho says.

At that moment the bars Tv can be heard. 

"We cannot condone Dr. Psycho's use of the C Word, as it does not represent our brand of evil. We hereby banish him from the Legion of Doom, Legion of Doom Europe, and The Junior Doomers of America."  Lex Luthor can be seen saying as several villains stand behind him. 

"Did I say hard pass? I meant soft accept. I wanna join your crew. Not because I think working for a female will help rehabilitate my ruined image, blah, blah, blah... It's for other reasons. I don't hate women!" Dr Psycho shouts now.

"I very much doubt that." Y/n says unconvinced.

"Whoo-hoo, the salty language that comes outta your mouth. I'm just glad my Mama Jean ain't allowed to hear it." Clayface the bartender says disguised as his southern character.  

"Even hot southern bartender character thinks you're a piece of shit." Harley points out to Dr Psycho. "But I believe in you, and I think you have a part to play." 

"Did you say a "part"? Then you must also require the services of..." Clayface begins to say as he spin throwing Clay everywhere again.

"Oh! fuck, not again." Harley complains and Y/n just covers his face.

"An actor!" Clayface cries. 

"You're damn right I do. You, me, Y/n and Psycho. This is gonna be the start of something huge."  Harley says determined as she raises her glass. Clayface and Psycho clink glasses with her. 

"Y/n were doing a toast." Harley says noticing him not taking part.

"I'm sorry but I do not drink alcohol." Y/n replies. 

"So, what's our first evil scheme? Is it a nuke in a volcano?" Dr Psycho asks now.

"Evil scheme? Oh, a honey pot heist where I seduce Gotham's mayor with my saucy Sheila character?" Clayface asks. 

"Start small before working up to the big heists." Y/n advises Harley. 

"How do you feel about petty, personal vendettas?" Harley says with a grin now.

The four were stood outside of Maxie Zeus's large mansion now as they looked up at a statue of himself with it's crotch on full display. 

"How distasteful and creepy." Y/n comments.

"No, I'd say more unsettling than creepy. No, disturbing. That's it. Found it." Dr Psycho says. 

"All right, we're gonna steal this asshole's gold medals and anything else we can get out hands on. Like the saying goes..." Harley starts. 

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Clayface finishes.

"Oh, I was gonna say, "The prick has it coming." But yeah, I like your fancy way better. All right, here's the plan. Me, Y/n and Psycho will go in through the back, find his loot, and clean him out. Clayface, you go knock on the front door, pretend to be the mailman to distract him." Harley says giving out a plan.

"What do we know about this mailman? What are his dreams? His fears, his raison d'etre?" Clayface asks.

"Who gives a shit? You're just a mailman." Harley says back. 

"Brilliant! That's what the world sees. Just a mailman. But we... We know better, don't we? He was a horribly neglected little boy, and he grew up in a cage! The only time he heard rumblings from the outside world was when the mailman came, which is why he spent his whole life dreaming of being one." Clayface says inventing a backstory.

"Yeah, no. None of that. You're just a mailman. Deliver the mail." Harley says as she gets up and starts running towards the back of the house.

"Let us go." Y/n says to Psycho as the two chase after Harley.

"Oh! She demands perfection, doesn't she? And she'll get it My mind is awhirl with a delicious new character who you'll soon meet." Clayface says to himself as he transforms. 

The transformed Clayface walks up to the front door using it's knocker.

An annoyed Maxie answers it. "Who dares disturb a living god, after 9:00 pm?" 

"Here's your mail..." Clayface starts as he takes off a hat to reveal a character that looks similar to Maxie. "Dad."

 "Dad?" Maxie says.

"Years ago you met my ma in a piano bar, and knew you must have her. Damn what your parents thought. She might have been from the wrong side of the tracks, but she was on the right side of your heart." Clayface performs as the three others watch.

"The fuck is he doing?" Harley asks in disbelief. 

"I have no idea." Y/n says also in disbelief.

"I'm done." Dr Psycho face palms. 

"It's really you? I... I thought I'd lost you forever after Piano Bar Janet said she "took care of it." Maxie says in shock. 

"Oh, she tried. But it didn't take." Clayface says.

 "Of course it didn't. For you are half god!" Maxie cries as he bring the disguised Clayface inside now.

Y/n, Harley and Dr Psycho were around the back of the mansion now.

"So, who do you need me to mind control to open the door?" Dr Psycho asks. 

"No, no, no one." Harley says as she opens a small vent now. "Just squeeze in the crawl space, get into the house, and open it from the inside." Harley directs.

"Are you shittin' me? I'm a genius telepath, why you wasting me on this?" Psycho says annoyed.

"You are the only thing small enough to fit." Y/n says.

"Son of a bitch!" Psycho says relenting before he begins to crawl in. "Argh! My eyelashes just touched a dead raccoon!" Y/n and Harley hear him cry.

"Quit your bitchin' and keep going." Harley says.

"God this is humiliating."

Maxie had led the disguised Clayface inside as the two were sat down.

"Son, we have much to catch up on." Maxie says.

"Yes, Father. Or should I call you... Dad?" Clayface asks. 

"Call me almighty Zeus. God of the sky and thunder. Supreme ruler of Olympus, and all of Earth below." Maxie says.

"Okey-doke." Clayface replies.

Dr Psycho had managed to make his way inside now as he let Y/n and Harley in. The three made there way through the mansion as they reached Maxie's bedroom now. Inside it were several statues of Maxie's crotch. 

"Wow! And I'm an egomaniac." Dr Psycho says.

" Yeah. This looks about right. Where the fuck does he keep those stupid medals?" Harley asks. 

"Under his bed." Y/n says now and Harley looks at him. "He said before that he literally sleeps on a pile of gold." Y/n explains and Harley nods, She and Psycho grab a hold of the mattress lifting it off the bed to reveal a safe.

"And then after getting the Medal of Honor in war I toured the world playing ping-pong." Clayface says.

"What a remarkable journey your life has been. And so oddly similar to that of Forrest Gump. It is rather strange you don't share your mother's brilliant blue eyes." Maxie comments but at that moment Clayface's eyes turn from brown to blue.

"My mistake, I guess. Trick of the light. Although I don't know how you avoided her family proclivity for... Hunchback?" Maxie says now as Clayface looks nervous.

Back in the bedroom Y/n had finished cracking the safe open. 

"Ah-ha! The Olympic gold medals." Dr Psycho laughs.

"Thankfully it was an old fashioned safe. Anything electronic and I would have been able to help." Y/n comments. 

Harley, Y/n and Psycho had finished stealing the medals now as they tiptoed past the room Maxie and Clayface where in but at that moment they all catch a glimpse of Clayface.

"What the hell?" Dr Psycho says.

"Son, you are the spitting image of your mother." Maxie says.

"I'm so glad you think so, Daddy Zeus." Clayface says looking hideously deformed now. "But it's so sad she suffered from a lisp."

"Oh, you lying piece of shit!" Maxie cries out now. "Do you really think I'd fall for this?" 

"Perhaps?" Clayface says.

"Who do you work for, monstrosity?" Maxie says punching Clayface hard in the face. "Joker?" 

"Oh, no, you didn't!" Harley says angrily at seeing one of her crew being hit. 

"Wait, wait, wait, don't emasculate him." Dr Psycho says stopping her but secretly he was enjoying seeing Clayface being hit. 

"Riddler?" Maxie asks as he punches Clayface again. 

"No, no, no, he's about to rally. I can feel it." Dr Psycho says. 

"The Penguin? Tell me who you work for, creature, or the next blow will be a killing one." Maxie says holding his fist up.  

"Keep him distracted." Y/n says to Harley now as he disappears back the way they had come from. Harley decides to move now. 

"He works for me, you oily bitch!" Harley says revealing herself from her hiding place now and Maxie drops Clayface to the ground.

"Well, if it isn't the girl I chose not to have sex with. Regrettably, you're too late I'm afraid." Maxie says looking at Harley. Maxie lifts one of the statues now as she prepares to smash it down on Clayface.

"No!" Clayface cries. Dr Psycho focuses now as he uses his powers to move Clayface to safety. 

"Thanks, Psycho." Clayface says with a lisp. 

"All right, dickhead. Just drop the lisp." Psycho sighs.

"I wish I could, but I bit my tongue." Clayface admits.

 "You said no woman could ever get a crew of bad guys. Well, I didn't just get bad guys, I got two of the fuckin' worst." Harley says intentionally not mentioning Y/n so she wouldn't give him away.   

"You call that a crew? A midget and a mudslide?" Maxie mocks. 

"I'll give you once chance to tell the world Harley Quinn's crew ain't nothing to fuck with." Harley says. 

"Or what?" Maxie teases but at moment Y/n pounces from a balcony above the group his foot landing a devastating blow to Maxie's spine. Maxie lets out a pained cry as he falls to the ground. Y/n keeps his foot placed on the mans back as he leans down. 

"There are two hundred and six bones in the human body. I can break every single of them and then heal them, Just to break them again. Do you understand?" Y/n says darkly as he looks down at Maxie Zeus keeping him pinned. 

"Fine. I'll say it." Maxie says giving in and Y/n keeps pressure on his spine.

 "Oh, I know you will." Harley says as she knocks Maxie out with her bat now.

It was morning now and a beaten up Maxie Zeus who was laid in the crotch of the statue outside his house  was being broadcast live by Tawny.

"Motivational speaker, and self-proclaimed supervillain, Maxie Zeus, was found beaten this morning." Tawny says but at that moment Maxie begins to regain consciousness and Tawny notices this now. "Oh, oh! Follow me, follow me. Mr. Zeus, how did this happen? Who did this terrible thing to you?" She asks him 

"All I can say is, Harley Quinn's crew ain't nothing to fuck with." Maxie says painfully. 

"Sounds like Harley Quinn, former girlfriend of the Joker, is striking out on her own." Tawny says. 

"Holy fucking shit, Harls. You did it. I would not have seen that coming." Ivy says in shock.

"Congratulation on your first heist, boss." Y/n says with a small smile but he is left surprised when Harley hugs him.

"Thanks for believing in me and for helping." She says gratefully which causes Y/n to hold a small smile.   

"It's been nearly 30 long years since a female villain had a crew. When the Queen of Fables tried to smash through that glass ceiling but was imprisoned in the US Tax Code by The Justice League." Tawny goes on to say. 

"Cause they're bitches." Queen of Fables cries watching the broadcast back at the work. "But I'll be damned. Harley's actually going for it." 

"One thing's for sure, the Joker's ex may soon become his biggest competitor. Joker who had been watching in his hideout annoyed shoots his TV angrily.

 "This is..." Ivy starts. "Well, you know, congratulations. I mean, I know gold medals aren't a nuclear warhead, but you gonna start somewhere."

"Oh, no, I got a warhead. I traded the gold medals for it." Harley tells Ivy. 

"Get outta town, where is it?" Ivy asks even more shocked. 

"I used it to blackmail the city just like I said I would." Harley informs her.

"Hey, y'all, it's me again." Tawny says on the Tv. "This just in, we take you live to a high-speed chase on the abruptly renamed Harley Quinn Parkway." 

"I'll be fuckin' damned. Totally worth it." Ivy says impressed  

"Right?" Harley says

Y/n chuckles. "If you'll excuse me, I have some experiments to return to." He says now but as he moves he places down a bag in front of Ivy who looks at it. Ivy leans forward and opens it to reveal a sum of money. 

"Uh, what is this?" Ivy asks.

"It is my share from the heist. I traded my medal for cash." Y/n replies. 

"So why are you giving it to me?" Ivy asks confused.

"It is my rent." Y/n says to her. "I did say I don't intend to live rent free." He gives a smile before disappearing to his room now.

And that's the chapter! So, we are now beginning our weekly run of Healing Nature and Harley has begun to form a crew but will things go smoothly? Of course not this is Gotham after all. If you liked this chapter or just the story in general then don't forget to leave a vote and a comment as it really helps and I shall see you all next week in...

Finding Mr Right