Note: Can refer to Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

The day started with a smile

Smile some helpless, some lonely...

I looked in the mirror and kept telling myself... today is your wedding day.. You are the bridegroom and your bride is Sona.. You are going to spend your life with her...

Therefore, you should have the appearance of the groom and her husband henceforth focus on them, and pay attention to them...

For a few moments, I sat in the dark room motionless and speechless sinking all my words

After a long time, I stood up, opened the curtains, let in the thin winter sunshine...

Later I took a bath put on a kurta and looked at myself again

The loneliness between my eyebrows has completely disappeared...What appeared in the mirror was the resolute, free easy, and calm Arjun...

*******

As I reached the temple where the wedding was supposed to happen and the moment I entered the temple and saw the arrangement my mind went back to the event that happened in the past...and a wave of sudden ache hit my head...

My whole body began sweating without my knowledge

I didn't even know that her feet were numb and refused to move...

The priest sitting over there set of vidhi...the holy fire...everything around me just made those scenes flash my eyes and that very moment I shut my eyes tight

I did not have the courage to open my eyes

Baba patted my shoulder and I was back in the present world

I was made to stand on one side of the antarpath holding the garland and then suddenly a lady came and held the bashing right in front of my eyes and before I could understand further she tied it to my forehead

Those bashing reminded me of the day when I tried to hang myself with her dupatta

Yes, I was suicidal at times...

The pain that piled up within me was unexplainable and led me to do such things...

Just as I was not alive, I could not hear or see anything and began clasping his fingers...

He shakes his head and shakes off those terrible associations in his mind but before I could comfort myself the priest began singing the mangal ashtak

The moment those holy words poured into my ears my heart began beating violently, so loud that his heartbeat all over the temple

I shook my head, blinked and opened my eyes. After several repetitions, I could barely see everything in front of me

The fact that I was actually getting married for the second time shook my core as I was scared that history might repeat

And as a result, my painful heart became more bitter.

The mangal ashtak ended and the antarpath was moved aside and it was time to see her...

Honestly, I was not all interested in seeing her but deep down a small corner of my heart was yearning to know how that small girl looked now

With every verse of manga ashtak my hold on Garland went on tightening and the patience to have her glimpse was falling apart and finally between us was removed

Then came the most awaited moment and it felt like everything around me had stopped...

Though there was a small crowd talking and laughing around me I could not hear anything except the rhythm of her breath

Though I had multiple faces in front of me I could not see anything except her angelic face

My heart took its own time to carve in her minute of details...

Her forehead is all smooth and white with those jingling bashing...

Those thick eyebrows compliment a small maroon bindi in between...

That cute dainty nose adorned with a nose ring

Those subtle rosy cheeks

Her peach-colored pretty lips

A tiny mole on the left side of her chin a little down the lips felt kinda adorable 

And yes...

I was fascinated by her beauty

She put the garland around my neck and my eyes met hers and in that very moment, her eyes just stole my heart...

Big clear charming orbs

Those dove-shaped black eyes outlined with thick kohl and those long curled eyelashes just skipped my heartbeat and reminded me of only one thing...

Your innocent and hopeful eyes put together the broken pieces of my existence, full of turmoil, and give me a reason to survive and face bravely the adversities of life

Who can resist such an angelic face beautified with  innocent eyes

But the next flash when I put garland around her neck all I saw in her eyes was sadness...

It was obvious though...

With the same sadness, we performed the further rituals...

While I was tying the mangalsutra her eyes were tightly shut probably she was holding back her tears but then unintentionally my fingertip brushed over her skin making her eyes open big like cricket balls

She kept staring into my eyes like a lost puppy...only she knows what was she finding in my drunken hollow balls

I think she must be cursing me...

Because when I filled the nuptial chain with haldi kumkum she held it in her palms and was murmuring something to herself

It was hard for her to leave her mother but Kaki's face was full of assurance that I would take good care of her daughter

All the while in the car on the way back to our house she continued her murmuring

I hope she won't make plans of killing me because I am a dead soul...

***************

Post coming back home I decided to give my bedroom to her and I was supposed to sleep in the hall...

It was hard to convince Baba about this but he didn't drag it too as he knew it would take time for me to adjust...

When I entered the room to do my leftover work she immediately shut her eyes again and began murmuring

But why??

Is she disgusted with me??

All the time when she sees me she starts cursing

Am I really that bad??

Maybe I am for her...

Ignoring her curses I did my work and came back to the hall to sleep but that's when I realized that the bedsheets and pillow were in the bedroom

I knocked on the door but she wasn't ready to open it...probably because she didn't want to see my beasty face so I thought of sleeping without a bedsheet on a cold night and was about to turn my back but the door opened

And finally opened her mouth but was struggling with her words to curse me and before she could do so I kept the money in the cupboard..took bedsheets pillow and left the room all alone for my new bride

Though we had a robbery in the past I kept money in the room because what I feel is

Money and people are always free to move