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September 26, 2008
Los Angeles, California

Davina Hayes

"This song.. I wrote it when I was in a very dark, unstable, vulnerable place. So excuse me, if I can't finish the song. It's very brand new." I signaled the dj to play the instrumentals.

"This goes out to all my ladies, whose had a failed relationship. Keep your head up and don't let your crown fall. There's a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I raised the microphone to my mouth.

He said
Baby don't leave me alone

***

Hours before

Davina Hayes

Here I am, vomiting for the second time since this morning. I don't know what's wrong with me, did I eat something bad? I had to stop in the middle of soundcheck and race to the bathroom.

I hear knocking from the outside.

"Dee, you alright?" I heard Eddy asked me.

I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and mouth and exited the bathroom.

"I'm fine, it's probably something I ate." I told him. He didn't looked convinced, but he brushed it off.

"Let's take a break from rehearsal for now." He said and I shook my head.

"No, we didn't run it all the way through-" I stopped mid sentence because I started to feel sick once again. I hunched over and placed my hands on my knees to keep my balance.

"We're taking a break. That's it, everybody break time!" Eddy shouted out to everyone. He guided me to the nearest chair and told me to sit.

He grabs a water bottle for me to drink and I chug it down. Maybe I'm just dehydrated? But then I realize..

Oh my god.

I'm late.

I grab my phone out my pocket and call Paget.

"Hey, everything okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, uhm.. I'm gonna need a favor." I replied.

***

Waiting.. Waiting.. And waiting again.

Paget and I are in the bathroom anxiously waiting. She's pacing back and forth and I'm sitting on the toilet, bouncing my leg up and down.

"How long more?" I asked her, getting impatient.

She checked her watch.

"It's time." She said. I turn my head to look at the pregnancy test that's laying on the sink.

I grabbed it, but didn't look.

I hesitated.

"I don't know if I can do this." I said, starting to tear up. Paget comes up to me and rub my shoulder.

"Yes you can, I'm right here. We're in this together, okay?" She reassured me. I nodded.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before looking at the results.

Oh god.

Pregnant.

***

Matthew was at our apartment. He stayed behind to review the new scripts for the new season of Criminal Minds. I'm planning on telling him the news after my show. Take him out for food, or maybe make a late dinner at home? No clue, but either way I'm gonna do something eventful. I'm heading back to the apartment right now to relax a bit before I have to head back and get ready.

"Matthew I'm home babe!" I shouted throughout the apartment as I shut the front door. I realize that I'm still holding the pregnancy test in my hand, I shove it in my purse and search the apartment for him.

Hmm, that's weird. Is he not home? His car is in our parking spot.

"Matthew, are you here?" I called out.

The apartment was silent, I guess he's not here.

I head to the couch and lay down and close my eyes, but then I heard a noise coming from the bedroom. I got scared, so I head to the kitchen and grabbed a knife for safety precautions. I slowly creep my way to the bedroom and once I opened the door, I wish I didn't.

There he was... my fiance with his mistress.

I dropped the knife and it hit the floor. They didn't move a muscle. Matthew had a shock and sad expression, while Margot had a smirk playing on her face.

Matthew decides to break the silence. "Dee.. baby.. it's not what it-" I cut him off. Is he REALLY trying to lie right now ?

I pick up the knife and race to him with it, trying to scare him. I'm PISSED!

"Don't you dare try and lie to me right now and say it's not what I think it is, when I know what this is." I yelled at him. I hear Margot laughing in the background, so I turn to her and point the knife at her and she got scared. I start laughing, while waving the knife around and they look at me crazy.

"You wanna know the funny thing about all of this? I already knew. You guys aren't really discreet about being sneaky I'll tell ya that. And to have this going on for a year... WOW!" And I point the knife at Matthew and still in my laughing state.

"You mister, tomorrow is our wedding day, but I guess not anymore. GOD! And to think I was about to marry a cheater. Haha." And then I look towards Margot.

"And youuu.. you homewrecker. You just couldn't help yourself, could you? Sleeping with a taken man. One, who was soon to get married, but you just had to ruin that." I was pacing back and forth in the room, while they both just stare at me.

Matthew stood up from the bed and tried to grab my arm but I slapped him right across the face.

"FUCK YOU!" I shouted in his face.

"I WASTED 10 YEARS OF MY FUCKING LIFE FOR YOU TO DO THIS SHIT TO ME! NICE TIMING MATTHEW. YOU JUST HAD TO GO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED. IF YOU WERE GETTING TIRED OF ME, WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST BE A MAN AND BREAK UP WITH ME? HUH?!" I was pushing him around and then I couldn't take it anymore so I started repeatedly hitting him and broke down.

I curled up in a ball on the floor and cried my eyes out and Matthew was holding me tight crying as well.

"Get off! GET OFF OF ME! Don't touch me!" I yelled at him while pushing him off me.

"Baby, I swear to you, it didn't mean anything. She means nothing to me." Matthew said trying to reason with me. I shook my head vigorously, not wanting to believe him.

"Wow, thanks for that Matthew." Margot butted in. Matthew and I looked at her with disgusts.

Matthew points at her with anger, "YOU SHUT UP!"

I got up and grabbed my purse from the couch and tried to storm out, but Matthew grabbed my arm.

"Stop Matthew! I'm sick and tired of all the lying. Be real with me for ONCE!" I shouted at him.

"Okay, just please sit." He guided me to the dining table and we sat and talked.

"Why? I just wanna know the reason." I asked him.

"I don't have a valid, good reason as to why I screwed up."

"Well then can you tell me when this all started?" I said, crossing my arms across my chest.

"The night you told me we had to postpone our wedding. You were right about Margot and how she treats me at work-" I cut him off.

"But you still slept with her." I rolled my eyes and he kept quiet, but continued explaining.

"That night, she invited me to the bar and at first I declined, but after you told me the news and I stormed out I met her there and talked and she asked if I'm basically willing to cheat on you with her and I didn't give her an answer. Until you went on tour and I came back here."

I started crying again.

Matthew crying also, and grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, not wanting to let go. I didn't pull away, knowing that this will be the last time.

"I'm sorry.. so sorry. I've never meant for this to last this long. The first time it happened, was supposed to be the last time, but I didn't stop it. In my mind, I thought with all our constant fighting, we were gonna end up breaking up-" I cut him off.

"So you decided that cheating was the way out?" I croaked out, choking on my tears. He put his head down.

"I know that that was stupid of me. I know we could've set aside our differences and talk and it would've made everything better. But at that time I thought cheating was the way to go." I shook my head and cried in my hands.

"How did you find out?" He asked me.

I pick my head up and replied, "the night you were supposed to pick me up from the airport. I caught a taxi home and saw that your clothes and someone else's clothes was on the floor. And I saw the bedroom door slightly opened so I peaked in and that's when I saw." He covered his mouth.

I checked my phone for the time and I see that I have to head back. So I wipe my tears and stood up from my seat about to leave, but Matthew grabs me and holds me close.

"Dee.. please. Please don't leave me. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. I will do anything. I will make it up to you for the rest of your life for what I did. It was just one mistake I made, you can't tell me that this is what makes or breaks us." He pleaded and beg. I pushed him softly off of me and stared into his eyes.

I felt tears ready to pour out my eyes. I brought my left hand up to his hair and caress his hair between my fingers.

"Matthew.. you had a year to end this. It wasn't just one mistake because you repeatedly went back to her and at times I was in the same place, same room, same area with her and even though at the end of the night you were with me, you snuck off to be with her. I stayed with you, despite all of this, but this time.. right now.. I have to go. So-" I remove my hand from his hair and took off my engagement ring and put it in his hand and closed it.

I kissed him for one last time, feeling our tears touch.

"I will never forget you and our memories we shared together. If the universe really wants us together, time will only tell. But please.. I have to go. I need to leave and you need to move on." I said to him and turned to the door and didn't look back.

Goodbye Matthew.