A/N: I call this "Cas is a colossal moron so she's gonna write about it." Yes this is based on me, and I am James in this oneshot.

James' chest heaved as he stepped into the small claustrophobic space of the shower, trying to keep the tears from falling as he turned the turned the handle, hearing it squeak as it rotated. The hot water hit him like a array of tiny acrobats crashing into his face.

"You're such an idiot James," he muttered to himself, searing rage in his tone. He fucked everything up, everything. Thomas was coming home from France for a week, and Thomas told him it was a surprise for Alex. Well James forgot that it was a surprise, so he asked Alex something about Thomas' arrival. "Such an imbecile." James' shoulders tensed as he tugged his hair, feeling the strong urge to sock his fist into the pristine white tiles of the shower wall. "Alex could have had the happy moment of meeting Thomas' eyes, happiness surging through him as he wrapped his arms around the man he hadn't expected to see for a long time. But no, you had to go and ruin it James."

James' shoulders shook, his arms spazzing uncontrollably. Panic, anger, sadness, regret, an unbearable amount of emotions clouded his mind as he crumbled to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. He sobbed into his knees, his body violently shaking as he gripped the skin of his calves hard, probably forming bruises.

Slowly he stood up, his fists balled. He raised them, ready to hurl them at the wall until he stopped himself.

"Punching the wall isn't going to help, it's just going to make more people mad at you and your hands will be broken," James muttered to himself, lowering his hand. "Maybe that last part would be a good thing, then you couldn't text Alex or Thomas anymore and everyone would be happier."

James sighed, turning off the water before stepping out of the shower, his wet feet meeting the rug. He pulled a towel off of the rack, drying himself off before tying it around his waist. He headed to his bedroom before leaning on the wall after he had shut the door and locked it. He slid down the wall pitifully, tears still cascading down his face.

"Congratulations James, you ruined everything."