[flashback chapter] 

Gamzee POV

Tavros was shaking in the seat next to me. He has never been to a high school party. Even though we all just graduated we told him we could count it as his first 'High school party'. "Don't be so worried man! It's just a party." I laughed and he smiled softly keeping his eyes on the rode.

Tavros was so cute. I loved everything about him, I've admitted my love to him so many times, but he never takes it seriously and just says he loves me back and we continue on with our life. I wanted so much more. I wanted us to be a couple. I wanted to walk in stores holding his hands and go on double dates. Have him sleep over and be shy to crawl into bed just because we were a couple. I smiled at the thought of it.  that would be the life.

Today our host was Kanaya. Her family had all gone to LA for a reunion and she refused to go. Of course she would of went, but when there's an opportunity to have the house all to yourself of course you should take it. The party started at 9pm and would go till everyone crashed. Sounded like my kind of party. Tavros asked if we could go home before midnight though. How could I say no? He was just way to damn cute for his own good. He had his legs together crossing them. 

"You going to pee yourself Tavy?" I asked him joking. 

"I-I'm just really nervous. What do you even do at parties?" He glances at me quickly then away back at the rode. "I'm a boring person. I don't do these kind of things." Tavros was the most awkward of group. He was that one that just slipped his way in and never really found out how to act like the others. I tried to hide my laugh but couldn't and I heard him whimper trying to make me feel bad like he always did. I breathed out and looked at him. 

"Ju-"

"Keep your eyes on the rode!" He yelled at me before I could even finish my word. I huffed and turned back to the streets in front of me. We were going to be there soon and I was sure he was acting like a baby going to the dentist for the first time after hearing horror storys from his public school. 

"Like I was saying." I continued. "Just relax and go along with what everyone else does. I'll be there with you so don't flip out." I parked on the curb a few houses away from kanaya. Everyone else was parked in her driveaway or in front of it. Last thing I needed was one of them to hit my car. I already had to get this car fixed four times in the time I owned it. It had only been two years. Maybe that's why Tavy was always watching the rode when I gave him rides. Tavros was to  scared to drive on his own so he just got rides from his mom or me. I was okay with it though. More time I got to spend with him. 

I opened my door stepping out and going around the front of the car to open his door. He looked up at me blankly. "Oh come on Tavy, I got you." I put my hand out and he took it, getting out and breathing in. I messed with his hair. So soft all the time. Karkat was just arriving at the same time and paid no attention to us. He was pretty cool dude with the ladies, though I was sure he was into guys as well. Since he never talked about who or what he was into in a romantic way. 

I took Tavros by the hand and guided him to the door. We followed Karkat in and the music was loud. Kanaya had invited more people then just the gang. A lot of her work shop buddies where her as well. 

Tavros tightened him grip on my hand and I chuckled at it. C came over to me and nodded. C was the man, he had it all. I nodded back and he handed me exactly what I wanted.  nodding was the way C and me communicated. He never told us his real name on top of that.

"Don't tell me you actually do that." Tavros pointed at it in my hand and I nodded down at him. There was a pretty good height difference between us. it just made him that much cuter.

I let go of his hand and lifted the wrapped paper to my mouth. Tavros huffed at me. He looked sad as I lit it with the matches in my pocket. "Listen Tavy nothing bad is going to happen I promised you remember. It's a simple party. We're probably just going to talk, drink, drunk sing and dance, maybe play a little spin the bottle." I defiantly wanted to kiss Tavros tonight. I was going to make my move. Though I'm sure it wouldn't matter where or when I made it. He would probably treat it like he does every time I tell him 'I love you.'

Terezi hit Tavros with her cane and he jumped into the wall scared by her. She laughed and put her cane down. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." I smiled at her joke and she continued on to go and do the same thing to Eridan who was trying to flirt with the other geek of the group. I blew out a cloud of smoke and Tavros slid down the wall. I looked at him and he looked away from me. He was probably mad at me. I didn't see why. This was normal everyday stuff for me. This isn't the first time I smoked in front of him. I waited for him to speak up. I stared at him till he got the point. 

"You can't be watching me when you're as high as the stratosphere." 

I snorted at his attempt and put the paper back in my mouth. "I'm always high. I don't think it matters." He didn't reply. "I'm going to go get you something to drink." I walked to the kitchen where all the alcohol was like usual. I was sure Tavros had never drank before. He was the innocent one in the group still. We all had been drunk, gotten DUIs, and lost our V-cards by bow. Except for Tavros. I really wanted his V-card.

Sollux was drinking heavy. He always did. Vriska was serving the drinks. You would ask for one thing and you never would know what others she would be adding in. I just went with it. 

"You want the usual trash you ask for?" She spoke up as Sollux had put his empty plastic cup back down on the counter pushing it close to her again. I nodded and she smiled mixing what the hell was in front of 

her. One of these days she's going to poison all of us and try to say she was just trying to have fun.  I picked up the cup and headed back to Tavros who hadn't moved. I kneeled down next to him handing him the 

cup blowing smoke in his face.

"Hey!" He coughed a bit hard. I'm sure he was being dramatic. I waved my hand in front of the smoke as if it would help. "You really are an ass Gam." Tavy was the only person I let call me Gam and I was the 

only one who called him Tavy. he sipped from the cup and coughed harder then when the smoke was blown into his lungs. "What the hell is this!" He looked at me and he seemed pretty mad. 

"Just drink it. You'll feel better." He mumbled something under his breathe. I never understood him when he did that. Why did people even do that in the first place? I put the cups to his lips and tilted it back for 

him and he pushed on my wrist. He swallowed and set the cup down coughing again. "Remember what I told you? Just roll with it." He looked at me and relaxed a bit. I picked up the cup handing it back to him 

and he stared at it for a minute before sipping from it slowly trying to get use to it. I stood back up and watched him as C came back over and we chatted about how we would be able to see each other outside of 

school. 

It soon became obvious Tavros had a very low alcohol tolerance. He was completely out of it. Now he was acting like us when we were sober. Now that was a extremely drunk Tavy. He actually interacted with 

people at the party and we winded up splitting up talking to everyone. It was past one when Napeta suggested we play Spin the bottle. She usually was the one who did. She was all about 'Shipping' us. Whatever that 

meant to her. The whole crowd had gathered in a circle. 

This spin the bottle was different then all the other times. Who ever spun it got to do there 'hobby' to the person it landed on. I really wanted my bottle to land on Tavy when it was my turn. Equius demanded to 

go first. He landed on Sollux and as drunk as he was he agreed. We all went outside and Sollux stood in front of a flat that Kanaya made once for a show we had at school. She also made Equius pretty much all his 

bows so he had one ready to go. His hobby was obvious. He set himself up and sollux putt his arms up and hic-uped once. "Shoot it!" We were all the drunk or high or both to even be a slight bit worried. The 

arrow flew through the air and hit the flat in the top right corner. We all cheered even though it was pretty close to his Sollux's head. He cheered himself and we huddled back inside. The game continued and 

when it was my turn I landed on C. We just laughed since we both were doing one of our hobbies together already. Napeta accepted it and we continued. 

It was Kanaya's turn finally. She landed on Tavy and I was jealous of course. Whatever her hobby was it was defiantly not as interesting as mine. She laughed and stood up telling her work shops group it was 'show 

time'. They got up first and we all followed as she dragged Tavy with her outside again and in front of the flat. He could barely stand the alcohol was so much for him. One of her friends had given her the small chain saw she used in her garage for at home projects. She kissed the handle. 

"This is my baby. I can cut anything on point!" I'm sure none of us actually listened to what she said and just cheered anyways. It was past 2am now and half of us were ready to faint. Sollux ended up falling asleep on the lawn chair while we were outside. My eyes were struggling to stay open. I saw Kanayas friends close to Tavy as he was falling asleep himself. I didn't hear what exactly kanayas hobby was, but it defiantly involved her "baby." I sat on the chair next to the snoring Sollux falling asleep myself, but just as I was dozing off I heard a sound that terrified me. 

My 'baby' was screaming and it was the worst sound that I have ever heard from anything. There a crowd of people around the noise now and I couldn't see anything myself. Before I could even process what was going on the cops were being called from multiple phones and you could hear neighbors talking over the fence and their doors opening and closing. I worked my way up to the front of the crowd and I jerked back against Karkat. Kanaya had messed with my Miracle. My perfect Miracle. 

His eyes were closed and his lip was bleeding from him biting on it so hard. I didn't want to look at down any more. I didn't want to see him in so much pain. This was all my fault..