She glanced back at me one last time. Her eyes were full of anguish and disappointment.  She turned, walking away into the midst . . . away from me. Her shadow disappeared into the alleyways, and she was gone. 

Gone.

I was frozen. Grief and fear gripped me. I collapsed to the floor, too weak to hold myself up. I tried to stand. I tried to muster all the strength left within me, but it was hopeless.

Thunder roared in the distance as heavy rain poured down on me. I shivered.

"She'll come back, she'll come back," I kept telling myself, but no matter how many times I tried to reassure myself, deep inside, I knew it was useless. She would never come back. My best friend, my love, my everything was not ever coming back. Not now, not later, not ever. She was gone, gone like autumn when winter comes. Gone like an extinguished fire. She left me to melt away like a snowflake on the pavement.

She was my strength, she was my hope, she was what kept me going. Now my only light in this cold, dark world has vanished, slipped through my fingers before I could catch them. She left me in utter despair, in the hands of eternal sorrow.

What am I without her? Am I even worth living for? Is my soul worth fighting for? Am I anything without her? No, I am nothing. Nothing like the dust of passing strangers that is left unwanted and forgotten. I am a nobody, an untouchable. My life is now hollow - empty and meaningless.

She told me that forever we would be together. Forever she would stay by my side. Forever she would love me. Forever. But now, forever she will know me as a mere stranger with a heartless soul. Forever I'll be nothing but a distant memory. Forever I'll be nothing to her. Forever.

That's when the dam broke. I couldn't hold it any longer. The cries from the ache deep within my soul came crashing like a flood. Tears flowed endlessly. The world seemed to stop. My other half was gone. Out of my life just like that. The sobs intensified, my breathing getting harder and harder as her absence clawed at me.  My whole body trembled.  I could feel my heart, shattering into too many pieces to be mended. It throbbed and ached with a desperate longing and desire. A desire I could not fulfill. Hot tears streamed down my face like a river never ending.

It killed me to think of the times we had . . . when everything was alright. I closed my eyes, in reminisce of the past. I will miss those bright, sparkling eyes and the wide, beautiful smile. I will miss the gentle touch of her soft skin. I will miss her soothing voice that made my worries vanish.

I replayed memories of the happiness I had no longer, watching the joy that I had lost. They repeated over and over again. The happiness I once had now seems so foreign and distant. I wish that I could go back in time and make it alright, but it's too late now.

I can't.

I pray that the angel of my life would return for this lost soul, return back for this wandering ghost, return for the one that loves her so dearly. But why would such a divine creation as this come towards a venomous, ruined monster as I?

I should leave the past behind me. I should carry on with life. I should move on.

... but I can't. I can't.