( nineteen )

What do you do when someone knocks over your dead sister's teapot on her birthday and now your twin sister wants to cut class to go with Cole Walter to a lake house? I don't know, but she was begging me to go.

"You promised, Char," Jackie looked at me with her eyes red from crying. Lucy would go. "You said you'd be there for me."

I pursed my lips and looked at Cole who was watching me expectantly. Then I looked back at Jackie who was pleading with me with her eyes, so I sighed and nodded. "Fine." Cole was smiling at me like a little kid, but I just focused on Jackie.

Thankfully, Danny was going so I sat in the back with Jackie instead of shotgun. When we got out of the car, I grabbed Jackie's sweater and handed it to her.

"It's gonna be cold," I said and she smiled while putting it on. I, on the other hand, had left my sweater in my locker. Great, I saw Erin and Olivia and groaned internally.

"You should've asked who was on the guest list," I told Jackie.

Danny told us we'd be fine, but I wasn't so sure. I just walked ahead with my arms around me. It was way colder here since we were near the water. That's when I felt a pair of arms go over my shoulders and I turn to see Cole putting his varsity jacket on me.

"Thanks," I whisper and he smiles. I see Olivia looking at me in shock and just keep walking as Cole goes over to the guys.

Erin suddenly says, "Didn't realize I was gonna be having such a Charlotte centered day. Lucky me."

"I haven't even spoken to you, what's your deal?"

Erin scoffs, "Why do you want my life?"

I sigh, "Just stay away from me and I'll stay away from you. Does that work?"

She huffs and walks ahead with her friends. She got Cole, what more does she want?

She clearly didn't hear me either because when I sit down, she sits right next to me. I try to ignore the tension by looking out at the water.

"Shots?" Olivia asks.

Erin looks at me and says, "Oh, come on, Olivia. She'd never."

I raise a brow then take a shot glass with a slice of lime. At least New York taught me something. I down the shot--it wasn't my first--and bite into the lime.

"Your turn," I smile innocently.

To my surprise, Erin actually laughs. Like, a genuine laugh. She says, "Don't think you're a big deal. But that was cool."

"Oh, I do not think I'm a big deal," I laugh. "You're literally talking to the chronically ill twin."

She nods, "Yeah, Jackie beat me today in practice. I'm still the better runner though."

I look to see Jackie and Danny talking, but turn back to Erin, "It's just a hard day for her. She runs to get things off her mind so she probably needed it."

Erin smiles sympathetically, "Well, I'll be back in first soon enough."

"I have no doubt."

She then gets up to sit by Cole and Dylan asks who's going skinny dipping with him. I laugh at how crazy that sounds and Danny tells him someone'll have to build a fire so he doesn't get hypothermia. Ruby said she's down if he goes first, but when Dylan takes off his hoodie to reveal a new jersey, everyone goes quiet. I recognize the 19 off the peewee football jersey Parker had.

Everyone looked at Cole and that's when it clicked. 19 was his jersey.

Dylan tries to save himself, "Hey, man. It's not the NFL. You know we don't retire numbers and since I took over your spot-"

"It's fine," Cole said getting up. "It's not like I'm on the team anymore. Right?"

"Exactly." He sounds scared. I know I would be.

"Danny's right. One fire coming up."

I frown as Cole leaves and the rest just act like nothing happened and jump in the water. So, against my better judgement, I get up and follow him. I stop a few feet away as he chops wood.

I sip my beer and say, "I bet Dylan couldn't even chop half that amount."

Cole smiles, "I thought you were mad at me, New York."

"I am," I say defensively. "I'm here for Jackie, not you."

He stops and leans on the axe that's been propped upside down. He looks at me, intensely, "Then why are you here?"

"I just told you-"

"No." He stops me. "Why are you here? Jackie's back over there. So why are you here?"

I look down for a second and the alcohol loosens my tongue, "I don't want to be here, Cole. I don't want to care that you're upset. As shitty as that sounds. But I don't want to because- Well..."

I haven't noticed that he put down the axe and is standing right in front of me. "Because of what?" His voice is a whisper. He reaches his hand out to touch my hair.

I close my eyes for a second, "Because of this." I try to keep my voice level. I look up at him and put his hand back at his side. "Whatever you have with Erin is complicated. And as much as she's tried to show otherwise, she's a nice girl. She cares about you, Cole. And I'm not getting in between that."

He nods and steps back.

I breathe again, "Why don't I help you with the fire?"

"Sure."

"Okay, Olivia? Truth or dare?" Erin asked, suddenly springing from her seat.

"Ooh, it's that time?"

"Hell yeah it's that time," Dylan yelled.

I laughed, "Come on, 'Truth or Dare' is for like 12-year-olds."

"Not the way we play it," Olivia said mischievously. "I hope that's strong, because you're gonna need it."

I furrowed my brows in confusion as I saw them all getting into a circle. Danny looked the opposite of excited and I didn't know how I felt as I saw Jackie on his left and I stood on his right. Cole ended up on my right somehow.

"Ruby, truth or dare?" Erin asked.

"Truth. Always." She answered, but she kept looking at Dylan.

"What do you really think of Paige?" Who the hell is Paige?

Ruby laughed like she knew what Erin was doing and then turned to Dylan. They started making out and I rolled my eyes.

"What just happened?" Jackie asked.

Olivia immediately piped in like some game show host, "In our super awesome version of the game, you can pass on your turn by kissing the person to your left and then changing places. It keeps things interesting." She gave a flirty look to the boy on her left and I looked to see Danny on my left. More importantly however, I was on Cole's left.

Olivia's turn came and she told us a story so insanely impressive (equally insane and equally impressive) I can't even repeat it. Dylan audibly voice his awe and the game moved on. I wasn't feeling well as I shivered a bit even in Cole's varsity jacket.

"Now it's my turn," Olivia said. "And I pick... Cole."

Everyone seemed surprised by her choice, but I had a bad feeling about it. That's when I got a migraine, but I tried to remain aloof so as not to worry Jackie.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What do you really think about Dylan stealing your spot and your number?"

Everyone got uncomfortable and Cole's jaw flexed. I glared at Olivia, "Really? What's your problem?"

"It's just a game," she said, but I still glared at her.

"It's fine, Charlotte. I'm actually done with this game." He threw his cup on the ground. "I quit."

Erin decided to rub salt in the wound however, "Not surprising. Quitting things is kind of your MO these days."

I couldn't react though as I near lost my balance. Cole caught me and I tried to take a few breaths. That's when I realize I didn't eat today since we skipped school and alcohol is the only thing in my system.

"I'm fine. Thanks," I said.

I didn't notice the tension get worse until Erin said, "You wouldn't."

"Oh, I wouldn't?"

My vision is blurry but I see Cole looking at me and I shake my head, "Cole, I need to sit down. It's a fainting spell. My iron..."

He immediately picks me up and sets me down on a chair while I hear shuffling noises and eventually a loud blender noise. Everything starts to go black, but I hear a voice telling me to drink something. It tastes leafy and citrus-y, but it relieves me as I feel my head start to clear up little by little.

When I'm fully conscious again, I feel strong arms setting me down in the back of the car. I look up to see Cole.

"Hi there, sunshine," he smiles.

"Hi," I say back. "What did you give me? It tasted good."

"Green orange smoothie. A buddy of mine had anemia and he was always drinking it. I used to ask him to make it for me so much, he decided to just teach me."

I smile, "Well, you saved me a hospital visit. Thank you."

"Yeah, guess I'm kind of a hero, aren't I?" He says sarcastically

I laugh, "My hero!" I kiss his cheek but he turns his face and our lips touch. It's brief because that's what I'd meant it to be: A chaste kiss on the cheek.

My cheeks burn red as he closes the door and talks to Dylan. It doesn't seem to end well, but much to my surprise, Erin and Danny have an exchange and I can see the heart eyes from Mars. I lean forward as I'm sitting behind Cole and ruffle his hair. He laughs and we make eye contact in the rearview mirror. I have an idea spark and take out my phone.

I line my camera up with the rearview mirror. "Cole, smile! I'm gonna take a picture."

His laughs again at my childish antics and I can see him looking at me through the mirror.

I lean my head forward next to Cole, showing him the picture. "Next year, I'll sell this at homecoming and maybe Edna will give me five benjamins."

He shakes his head and the rest of the drive is carefree and fun.

We try to sneak inside, but Katherine was already waiting for us.

"Where have you guys been?"

I speak up first, already having a plan in mind, "We decided to hang out and we lost track of time." I make sure to stand in front of a drunk Jackie so that she's quiet.

The other three nod along, Danny adds, "I just drove honestly." He hands Katherine the keys and says goodnight.

George gets down just after Danny's passed by. He asks again, "Where have you been?"

"I already did that part," Katherine.

"Well did you do the part where they're grounded for the weekend?"

"What?" I ask. "Jackie's never been grounded before."

Her name causes her to stir, "But then again, I've also never-"

I give her a look and she giggles to herself. Mostly.

"Okay, Jackie, let's get you upstairs." Katherine takes her upstairs. Cole and I start to go too, but George stops him. I look between Jackie and Cole.

"Go," the latter tells me. "I'll be right up."

I nod, but I go to the bathroom instead. I wait it out for a few minutes before going to change into a pajama set. When I look out the window, I see the garage light on. Cole.

I creep downstairs and overhear Cole's parents discussing what happened while I wasn't there. My heart aches for Cole. For all of them.

I slowly creep out the front door and jog my way to the garage. I'm hesitant about going in, but I realize it's the least I can do after what he did for me today. I walk in and Cole's head is under the hood of his truck. He's been fixing it up to drive so he can have his own car.

"Cole?"

I see him stop working and look up, "What are you doing out here, New York?"

"Checking on you," I say as if it's obvious.

"Well, I'm fine," he sends me a smile that I think is supposed to be reassuring. "Go to sleep. Chores are gonna suck tomorrow if you don't get enough sleep."

I ignore the second part of his statement, "Cole you're not fine. I heard Katherine and George talking about what happened. You're not going to college? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, okay." He abandons his tools and the hood of the car to stand facing me. "I'm not smart enough to get into college, Charlotte. I had football: my one ticket out of this place and it's gone now. So, why do I have to pretend like everything's okay? Like my life isn't over?"

"It's not about pretending, Cole. You're more than football, more than just a number on a team. You're Cole Walter, you can pick apart cars and put them back together, you're an older brother who encourages his siblings to be brave even if they might lose, you're the guy who paid for my lunch and let me sit with him on my first day of school, you're the guy who saved me a visit to the hospital during a fainting spell," I'm suddenly breathless as I look at him. I realize as I say each anecdote that I'm right. This is who Cole is.

"Yeah, well, I don't think there's anywhere to put that on a college application," his voice is unsteady, like he's trying not to cry.

I frown, "Cole..." Against my better judgement, I surge forward and hug him. I feel him tense for a few seconds so I squeeze him to let him know it's okay. Then, he breaks down.

I rub circles into his back and eventually when we see the lights go out, we sneak in and I grab him some water.

"Thank you," he says quietly.

"If you ever want to talk about it, just come find me."

We smile at each other and I watch as he gets closer to me. My face feels hot and my stomach is doing somersaults. I can feel his breath on my face as our foreheads touch. I can't look away and his hands find my waist as mine wrap around his neck, getting tangled in his hair.

The pain of waiting is excruciating and my thoughts grow restless. His lips touch mine and there's something perfect in the way that they're slightly chapped but generally soft; like him. I let myself melt into his being as I tilt my head.

I've never felt a kiss be so intense, like every single moment of my life, every little choice, has brought me here. To him. With every second, I want him more. As if every sip just makes the thirst grow.

A cough makes us pull apart as I see Danny standing in the doorway.

"I just... wanted some water."

Cole laughs and I hit his arm. I hide my face in his shoulder as Danny grabs some water and leaves. When he's gone, Cole's laughter returns and I find myself giggling too.

"That was horrible, oh my god," I groan jokingly. "He's gonna think I'm a sex crazed bacchae."

"A what?" Cole laughs more.

"You've never heard of the bacchae? Oh my god, I have to show you. It's a Greek tale about Dionysus."

Cole just smiles and says, "Lead the way."

That night, Cole held me as I told him all about Dionysus and the bacchae. When he finally drifted off, I snuck out of his bed smiling like an idiot. Things seemed to finally be falling into place. What could go wrong?

elle speaks !

theyre so cute, i love them!!! #colette fr
also, i love erin and danny sm. like season 2 better be full of them or i'm gonna SUE.