"One more day of this ugly English weather and I'm going to kill myself-"

I sighed.

"Hannah- It's just the weather. The only thing it controls is itself. You're letting it bother you."

She grumbled, "You don't understand-" She threw herself onto her bed, "I can't do anything, see anything, be anything!"

I've been here for a month, and the weather has not changed. It isn't much different from my home in New York. My roommate is from Georgia.

"You really don't understand, Elaine- It's- It's almost- like- demORALIZING. I'm losing my sense of self- My identity, really- The color is draining from my eyes. What is color? What is feeling? What are emotions-"

"Hannah. I'm trying to study."

"Of course you are, you don't do anything else."

"Nothing else interests me."

She sighed in defeat, gently kicking her feet off the edge of her bed. It was quiet again and I returned to my book.

Hannah laid back down, thoughtfully pulling on her curls.

"OH LAINEY!" She jotted back up.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Hannah. Don't yell-"

"Sorry-" She smiled sheepishly.

"And don't ever call me that again."

"Understood! But Elaine- Okay-"

"What."

"What about a boy?"

I returned, once again, to my book.

"I don't have time for boys."

"Okayyy- What about a girl?"

I dropped my book, turning to face her.

"A what?"

"... A girl. Like a female? Like you or me?"

"God Hannah, who do you think I am? A fucking loner? I'm not a fucking queer. I'm better than them. They're fucking outcasts. They need some serious help."

She blinked.

"Uhm. Okay. You're not queer. Noted."

I sighed. "Don't ever bring it u-"

"Oh!! Come to Xavier's party tonight!"

"Hannah, I was speaking to yo-"

"It's more of a little get-together; Xavier wanted to get some old friends from last year together and-"

"Hannah, who's Xavier-"

"I think bringing you out could be extremely beneficial for the both of us and-"

"Hannah-"

"There's gonna be a lot of guys there, all Xavier's friends of course and his twin sister promised she'll come to- She's the Class President-"

"The Class President-"

"She'll bring a lot of her friends-"

"HANNAH."

"WHAT!?"

"I'll go if you shut up."

"Yay!" She clapped, flashing one of her signature smiles.

"Who's Xavier?"

"I thought you told me to shu-"

"Who's Xavier."

"My boyfriend."

Oh, ew.

"Oh," I finally turned back to my book.

"Be ready by six!"

I groaned.